Chapter Text
Solas shot up, heaving heavy breathes as tears easily found their way down his face.
Evanuris' forsaken nightmares.
False gods waging endless wars, the sickly smell of iron and copper hanging thickly in his mind. Their beloved Arlathan crumbling under the weight of the Veil that he had created- waking up in a world all too foreign to his senses, the lack of magic in the air is almost suffocating-
It took the heavy grumbling at his side to remember where he was: Inquisitor Adaar’s quarters. Shadows blanketed the room as moonlight streaked in from the windows, bathing everything in a perfect, shimmering silver. The room was spacious, a snuffed out fireplace located to the left wall while tables decorated the right. There were a few seats set about the room, more for decoration than for sitting. And of course, Adaar's desk, which was covered in documents and reports as well as a couple of books Dorian had recommended and old toys and trinkets Cole had gifted him with.
He tried to steady his breathing, wishing he was anywhere else as he slid out of the heavy wool blankets.
As much as he loathed being alone- away from what he would know as home- it was easier. He could console himself or burn down a tree, whichever came first. There was no worrying about unwanted questions or consequences when you were alone. There was no falling in love with the one person he knew damn well he'd hurt by the end of this.
He stood, tugging on his shirt before locating his jacket. He headed towards the door, halting at the voice behind him.
“Solas?...”
Fenedhis. He must've made more noise than he had thought.
Adaar had become a significantly lighter sleeper since Haven. He snored heavily enough that one would think it'd take the world ending to wake him, but Solas supposed an unhealthy mix of trauma and newfound paranoia would do that to people. Adaar would argue that he was the same person he was before anything with the mages and templars, before Haven, before Corypheus. He was a terrible liar.
“Sorry for waking you, Vhenan. Please, go back to sleep.” He didn’t look at the Qunari behind him, telling himself that unsaid truths would stay safer if he didn't.
“What happened?...” Adaar asked, voice low and groggy yet filled with concern. He was pushing himself out of bed and willing his eyes to open before Solas could stop him. "Are you okay?"
“Everything is fine, Adaar.” The slight crack to his voice said otherwise. “I just need some air, is all.”
Adaar gave a small nod, trying to let the slumbering fog in his head clear up.
“Can I go with you?” He had already found his shirt, halting the process of slipping it on when he realized he might not be invited. “... You don’t have to be alone.” He whispered, a quiet reminder that Solas could lean on him.
Solas lingered by the door, finally looking back to Adaar. Tired, adoring eyes met his, all but promising safety and love.
Don't .
He released a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. “... Yes.. You may.”
Damnit .
They found themselves on Skyhold’s outer battlements, their breath visible from the cold, swirling away into the night sky as they walked. Adaar’s hair was left down, swaying with the chilled breeze and collecting small flecks of snow that drifted past.
He stayed close behind, but was mindful enough to give Solas some space. He busied himself by scanning over the mountains, almost expecting a lyrium-infested army too large to deal with. He closed his eyes for a moment and steadied himself, reminding himself that Skyhold was far more defensible than Haven was. They had the numbers, now. Those events would not repeat- he couldn't let them.
He moved into a light jog, catching up with Solas.
It almost made Solas want to laugh- Adaar, a former member of the Valo-Kas, current leader of the Inquisition, Andraste's Herald - such heavy titles, and yet he found time to follow him outside at some ungodly hour just to keep him company.
It was somewhat troubling, how much comfort his presence alone brought. Adaar rarely tried to pry for more information than Solas would give, and now was no different. He gave him space yet stayed close, said nothing but had endless words of comfort ready to be shared, so incredible, and yet Solas would inevitably let him go.
Every word of comfort and acknowledgement only served to make Solas question what he had to do. He knew that. It would be so much easier if he would just sever their relationship.
And yet he always went back to Adaar. Went back for another kiss, another conversation, another question, story, thought, any excuse to be around. Even in their sleep, he would seek Adaar's dreams out.
Solas could feel the heat radiating off of Adaar’s body, just a bit too far to truly be enjoyed. He leaned back before his mind could protest, finding himself leaning against Adaar's chest as strong arms wrapped around him. Warmth blossomed comfortably in his chest.
They stayed like that for sometime, staring over the horizon in silence. The wind made empty threats of freezing them over, though between staying close to each other and their own coats, they'd be fine.
“.... Thank you.” Solas’ voice was light, just loud enough to be heard. “I…” He didn’t know what to say. Thank you for waking up in the middle of the night to come freeze with me? "It is easy to forget that I am not alone." He said instead.
Adaar leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to the top of his head, lips curving into a soft smile. "Of course." He mumbled against Solas' head. "I couldn't let you sit out here all alone," because clearly there were no alternatives like just going back inside or using magic or wearing a thick enough coat. "Who else would tell such interesting stories from the Fade? I'd lose my best entertainment if I let you freeze out here."
Solas gave a quiet chuckle, leaning his head into the crook of Adaar's neck. "Best entertainment? You'd still have Varric, a celebrated storyteller. Even Sera could be considered for such a role." She already held that role, probably more so than either Varric or Solas did. Most of her pranks had been done with a trusty accomplice, and everyone had a solid idea of who said accomplice was.
"Yeah, but I don't kiss them." Adaar smiled at the laugh earned from that, letting the sound repeat and echo through his mind. Solas didn't laugh enough, Adaar decided. He's gonna try to make that happen more.
"I should hope not." Solas tilted his head, a hand wandering to Adaar's cheek to pull him down for a kiss. Their lips met, a moment of warmth and bliss amongst the cold winds and troubling thoughts.
"Did you want any tea?" Adaar offered, giggling at the disgusted expression Solas gave.
"No," He smiled, expression softening. "Your company will be enough."