Chapter Text
Zhou Zishu was at a loss. He didn't know what to do to help Wen Kexing.
On one hand, Zishu knew that there was almost no way Kexing could get better with no professional help. But on the other hand, Kexing was afraid of social interaction with strangers.
Even after so many years of Kexing being free and exposed as much as possible to the outside world, Kexing's social skills were still not that good- he still couldn't communicate with Zishu properly sometimes.
He was improving, yes. But progress did not mean he was totally okay yet.
Zhou Zishu had read his fair share of books, both throughout the duration of school and during his leisure time as a form of a pastime. But he was not stupid enough to believe that the real world was like the fictional world.
The fictional world told of how one was seemingly okay after his or her (and everything in between and not) significant other came and swept in like a knight in shining armour.
Significant others were important, yes. Important in a sense where they could be the one providing support and sometimes strong enough to be the cornerstone for their loved one.
But they were also human, and as important as they were, someone mentally troubled did not magically get better after having someone to love them. They could provide comfort and make them feel okay for a short, blissful while, but not permanently enough to take away their troubles forever.
The real world was where sometimes Zhou Zishu had to watch as Wen Kexing fell apart like glass in front of him and do nothing but try to gather the broken pieces in the aftermath and try his hardest to hold them- Kexing, together.
The real world was where Kexing got into those moods where he wanted to be alone and Zishu could only wait helplessly as he watched Kexing stare aimlessly- listlessly, at the walls for hours on end.
The real world was where it took a mental toll on Zishu as well, his hands being figuratively cut by the broken pieces over and over again.
But what could he do but willingly let himself get cut over and over again? If his soulmate was suffering, he would grit his teeth and suffer with him.
He would try his hardest until Kexing could pick up his pieces with him, and then they could share the pain together.
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Zishu had taken to doing research. It was difficult, though.
Even though he had an idea of why Kexing acted in the way he did, he wasn't a professional and didn't want to diagnose Kexing.
Kexing was afraid of going to a psychiatrist too and as much as Zishu wanted to give him professional help, he didn't want him to go through another break down.
Kexing was afraid of meeting other people, much less opening up to them.
That was the root of the problem, at the end of the day. On one hand, he didn't want to open up to new people- but on the other hand, the ones he was close to, weren't having much communication with him either.
It wasn't his fault, not exactly.
Wen Kexing had insecurities and one of them just so happened to be being afraid of burdening others with his problems.
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"I'm worried about him."
Wen Kexing struggled to keep his breath quiet and even, like he was sleeping. Zishu was on a call with someone and while he didn't want to eavesdrop, the conversation seemed to be about him and he wanted to know what Zishu thought about this whole mess.
"-t does it look like to you? Anything ring a bell?"
Whatever the person on the other end replied, it mustn't have been good because Zishu gasped- a small shocked sound that left him in one quick breath.
"It's like him right? It's almost the same-"
Zishu's voice broke off, like he was interrupted.
Also. Him?/
"The way he talks! The- the mess of words that just seem to come out uncoordinated- it's- it's the same!"
Zishu seemed to pause.
"What happened to him?" His voice was quiet, when he spoke again.
"He- he committed s-" A deep breath before-
"He committed suicide."
It was like white noise, after that. To Kexing, at least.
Maybe the madness in whoever's head Zishu was talking about finally drove him to a breaking point.
Maybe it'll happen to him, too.
He hoped not.
But at the same time,
Maybe it'll be a kind of relief for him.
-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-
The music was alluring, each gentle note pulling Wen Kexing closer and closer.
He didn't know where the music was coming from- maybe Ah Xu was playing the piano. Kexing remembered Ah Xu saying something about how he could play it once, but his mind was too cloudy to actually try and remember what it was exactly that he said.
The notes were gentle and soft, it felt like there were layers of feelings put into the music, intricate and calming in a way that gave Kexing the distant feeling of when Ah Xu and him cuddled under covers on a rainy day.
Where was the music coming from?
His feet found themselves following the direction of the music, like a mouse following the music of the pied piper.
The feeling, he thought again, was also similar to when Ah Xiang sang for him when he woke up gasping and sobbing from a nightmare.
Ah Xiang.
The music suddenly started turning scratchy, jarring in a way that was more similar to someone mindlessly slamming their fists down on the keys.
It hurt his ears- he didn't like it.
It was piercing, making him squeeze his eyes shut.
Ah Xiang, Ah Xiang, Ah Xiang.
The music rose in volume and Kexing found himself sinking to the floor.
Someone make it stop. Make it stop, please.
His ears were ringing, the grating, clashing sounds rising, rising in volume.
Rising like how Zhuren's fists rose and slammed down on him.
Rising like his voice when he screamed at them- begged them to stop.
Rising like the metaphorical parasite worming its way into his head and making him go insane.
He was going insane.
"Ge!"
Ah Xiang?
His head jolted up.
"Ah Xiang? Ah Xiang!"
"Wen Ge!"
"Xiao Cao?"
Where...
Getting up jerkily, he just managed to catch a flurry of purple turning the corner of the corridor.
"Ah Xiang! Wait..."
His feet slammed along the floor of the corridor as he ran, matching the harsh sounds of the piano.
Thump thump thumping until he reached the window at the end of the corridor.
The window was open, with no one in sight.
"Gu Xiang? Weining?"
The music stopped.
They were right there... weren't they?
Kexing held onto the window sill, using the window nook as leverage to start climbing out. He hadn't seen them in a while, he needed to see them, needed to make sure they were real.
It was difficult to get the first leg out, but he managed it. Now if he could just get the other-
A harsh but somehow still gentle tug yanked him backwards and he was falling.
Falling and falling until his back met with the hard chest of someone.
He flailed and struggled out of the strong grip
"Ah Xiang! Xiao Cao! I have to... I have to..."
"Ah Xing!"
"Let me go! Let me go, let me go, let me go!"
The strong hands dragged him away, dragged him away from the window- away from Ah Xiang and Xiao Cao-
No... No! He had to find them... he had to...
"Wen Kexing! Look at me-"
Who...
"Kexing, It's me. Its me Ah Xu, your Ah Xu."
...Ah Xu?
"Ah Xu I- I saw them, I saw them! You have to let me go see them!"
"Who? Ah Xiang and X- Xiao Cao?"
He nodded desperately.
A soft sigh followed by gentle tugging that led him to the bedroom.
Stop. He wanted to say. That's the opposite of where they need to go.
Then-
"They aren't real... Ah Xing"
The ringing in his ears were back.They aren't...real? But that's not possible!
They aren't real. They aren't real. They aren't-
No! They're real, they are! He wanted to scream. They are...
He was being manhandled into a bed and Ah Xu was climbing in next to him. In Ah Xu's hands was a pill and he was slowly pushing it past Kexing's lips.
Handing him a glass of water and helping him tip his head back gently, he whispered,
"Here, swallow this. You'll feel better, I promise."
He swallowed it obediently. The pill made him sleepy and he said so out loud, making Ah Xu nod his head.
"Sleep, love. Everything will be alright in the morning."
As he drifted off, he suddenly remembered that they didn't have a piano in the house.
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It was almost 5 months since his phone call with Wu Xi.
Wu Xi had told him to monitor Kexing and report back any abnormalities.
There wasn't though, that was the thing. He was perfectly fine. The human puppy back to his playful, teasing self.
Until he found him attempting to climb out the window that afternoon.
After the phone call with Wu Xi that seemed to confuse him more than give him answers, Zhou Zishu was only sure of one thing.
The matter couldn’t be pushed any further.