Chapter Text
Zhao Yunlan calls Shen Wei for aid, and so Shen Wei gives it. And then Zhao Yunlan is—here. Closer than before, when Shen Wei could—hear him? Sense him. But not see him. It is so good to see Zhao Yunlan. It feels like it has been a long time since Shen Wei did. He thinks maybe that isn't right, but he can't stop staring.
"Oh. Okay. Wow." Zhao Yunlan wobbles where he stands, looking around wide-eyed. Shen Wei quickly cups his elbow in a hand, steadying Zhao Yunlan as he turns to Shen Wei with a blinding smile. "You actually—you got me here. So we can talk. Xiao Wei, how are you so beautiful and so talented?"
Shen Wei feels a flush at the praise, the words raising a tingling pleasure in his chest even though he doesn't understand what Zhao Yunlan is talking about. All he knows is that he is glad that Zhao Yunlan is happy. That he loves the way Zhao Yunlan's eyes crinkle with his smile, and loves the way Zhao Yunlan doesn't pull away, allowing Shen Wei to stay close to his warm presence.
Everything else has been—cold. Shen Wei can't say how, exactly. The sky above is ever-changing, but even the sun has felt cold and distant. Not like Zhao Yunlan. Who is moving now, robes rippling around him as he lays a hand on Shen Wei's face.
Shen Wei inhales, wanting to shut his eyes and bask in the sensation, yet also never wanting to take his eyes off that beloved face.
"Hey," Zhao Yunlan says, with a quirk of his lips and a subtle frown between his brows. Shen Wei leans into his touch. "Shen Wei?"
"Zhao Yunlan," Shen Wei says. It feels like the answer to everything he has been searching for. "Kunlun."
"Okay," Zhao Yunlan says, his hand dropping to his side. His smile is so bright, but it disappears too quickly. "I'm really glad you remember that, baby. That's good. But I think—" He looks around, hair billowing. Looks up, his frown deepening. "We've got to get away from that." His voice drops to a murmur. "Maybe if we both woke up? Or can we do something here? I can't remember what happened last time…"
Shen Wei listens to Zhao Yunlan's voice. Now that Kunlun is here, whatever panic he might have felt before has faded, because he can see Zhao Yunlan, hear Zhao Yunlan. Feel Zhao Yunlan, tethered in his heart. And isn't that enough? Isn't that all he ever wanted?
"Xiao Wei," Zhao Yunlan says. Not sharply, but Shen Wei hears urgency there. It resonates in him, making him feel like there is something he needs to do. But what? "I need you to focus for me, love. Tell me—what's the last thing you remember?"
The question makes Shen Wei queasy, as if Kunlun has set the earth under his feet rocking. He blinks, the blood-red sunset above dissolving into the choking darkness of night without moonlight, without stars. The last thing he remembers—when? Before Zhao Yunlan called for him? Because he knows he should try to recall, but he doesn't—he doesn't want to.
"Just tell me, baby. Before—here. Anything you can remember." Kunlun's eyes are worried.
Shen Wei doesn't want Zhao Yunlan to be worried. Wants the man he loves to be happy. As happy as Shen Wei is here, with him. He thinks. It's hard. Says, hesitantly, "The seals...the seals were coming undone." They had been, but only because of Ye Zun. Ye Zun had been breaking them, had been breaking free, again, and Shen Wei had gone to stop him. Had—
The dark night explodes into a blue-bright flash and the resounding crack of breaking stone.
Zhao Yunlan ducks, pulls Shen Wei down into a crouch. Shields Shen Wei's head with a blue-clad arm.
Shen Wei reels. "Ye Zun," he gasps. The agony of it—of the chains, of his brother's words, of the relentless powers burrowing into his mind—steals his breath.
"It's okay," Zhao Yunlan croaks, pain twisting his features. He straightens, and tugs Shen Wei up into an embrace. The clouds overhead part, giving them a stolen view of the moon. "I promise," he murmurs into Shen Wei's ear, hand sliding up to cup Shen Wei's neck. He presses so close that he is all Shen Wei can feel. "You did it, love. That's all over."
Over? His powers drained, Shen Wei shivers. He believes Kunlun with all his heart. The seals must be safe, then. But—his brother's voice. Whispers, threats. His own body growing weaker and weaker, until he can't even hold on to awareness for long. Can't resist when Ye Zun takes—
"Kunlun!" Shen Wei chokes out, and arms tighten around him. Lips press against his temple, his face cradled in a warm hand.
"It's okay, Shen Wei."
Shen Wei clenches his fists, wanting to shake his head in fierce denial—not wanting to dislodge that gentle touch. "No. No, he took it. He took it."
"Ah." It's a quick inhalation, but not of surprise. Kunlun says, "It's all in the past—in your memories. Everything is okay now, I promise. You remember me, right?"
At that, Shen Wei relaxes a fraction. "Kunlun," he says. And then, at the smell of leather and hair wax, "Zhao Yunlan."
"Yeah," Zhao Yunlan says. "See? It's okay. You're missing a bit of time. There was some bad stuff—"
Shen Wei tastes blood and ozone, and feels Zhao Yunlan's precious presence flicker, and fade, fade, fade—
"—but it's good now. It's all good. We're—ah." The body against Shen Wei's has gone tense. "You should have those memories. It's not fucking fair if they're gone—but they should be around here somewhere, right?"
At Zhao Yunlan's words, Shen Wei opens his eyes. Sees the determined set of Zhao Yunlan's gorgeous jaw. Wants to kiss his mouth. Doesn't feel at all like looking for anything else, when he has everything he wants right here.
"Shen Wei." Zhao Yunlan takes a step back. No longer holding Shen Wei. Still close enough to touch. And he's watching Shen Wei carefully, kindly. His hands are restless, Shen Wei notes, wanting to feel them on his own body as they make shapes in the air between them. "I know it's not great when you remember the bad stuff. But I promise. There's good stuff you don't want to miss. And you can't stay here."
Despite all that Shen Wei has to treasure now, here, he can't help but understand. No matter what he wants, no matter the pleasure it gives him to forget everything else and simply exist here, in Zhao Yunlan's company, duty will not permit him to forget what he is. "I have to wake up."
"No."
Shen Wei rocks back in surprise.
"I mean. Yes! Please. You have to wake up, seriously do wake up! But not—not now. Not yet." Zhao Yunlan pats his arm with a crooked grin. "For now, I think we're right where we need to be, to—to fix this."
Even starting to think the word where makes Shen Wei feel like he's falling—like everything is falling with him. So he stops. Zhao Yunlan stumbles, grabs Shen Wei's arm for support. He looks confused. Just like Shen Wei is. "Fix this?"
Zhao Yunlan nods. "Yeah. Like I said. You're missing some stuff, in here." He taps the top of Shen Wei's head. "And in here." He splays his hand over Shen Wei's breastbone. It feels so good and so right that Shen Wei sighs with pleasure, confusion fading. In its stead, he feels Zhao Yunlan's certainty. He places his own hand over Zhao Yunlan's. Something is wrong, but together, they can make it right.
Yes.
Together they can do anything.
Zhao Yunlan has been struggling to keep from blurting everything out to Shen Wei—to beg him to remember what the pillar's influence is making him forget. Shen Wei would listen, but he wouldn't understand. Or even if he understood, Shen Wei wouldn't be able to keep remembering. Zhao Yunlan has seen this insidious power before. Even if it hasn't been directed by any malicious mind this time, the effects seem much the same as when Ye Zun used them on Shen Wei, and Zei Qiu on Ye Zun.
That, and also it is so hard to hold on to anything in this ever-shifting place that he's not sure Shen Wei could remember the weather forecast—not that it would apply here. Zhao Yunlan has to swallow against the queasiness of finding not just the surroundings, but his own self changing. He can't remember what he was wearing in the SID, because from one moment to the next he's wearing Kunlun's fur-trimmed blue robes, or a leather jacket, or a blood-soaked, torn t-shirt. And wasn't that an unpleasant shock. So he tries to avoid looking down at himself, but he can still feel the weight and pressure of his holster coming and going, his gun there and then not, and his hair doing things hair really should not be doing.
It's exactly those details that make it so unsettling. That makes everything feel so very, very real, at the same time as much of that reality is malleable enough to melt and reform at a word, a thought. A reality that Zhao Yunlan knows isn't meant for him, at all. And yet, here he is. Talking, touching. Getting to be with Shen Wei. Getting to feel Shen Wei's presence in a way that is so all-encompassing it is difficult to overcome the threatening inertia of simply staying put and basking in his husband's love.
Because would that really be so bad? Let his body stay asleep for a little while, like Shen Wei's already is. Let both of them just be here, without having to do anything. Resting up, like—like Ye Zun in his hibernation.
Ye Zun. His Xiaodi.
Ah, fuck. Zhao Yunlan promised, didn't he? To get Shen Wei back. To fix this. Xiaodi was such a mess—he must be worried sick by now. If Zhao Yunlan surrenders all his responsibilities to remain here, there's no telling what state he'll end up in. Not to mention the others.
And Da Qing. Zhao Yunlan knows how painful it is to wait by an unresponsive body. Thinking about it properly now, he could never do that to Da Qing. No matter how good everything else might feel—and there is so much else he and Shen Wei haven't even gotten started on—Zhao Yunlan wouldn't be able to shake that guilt.
Shen Wei is still standing there, still with his hand over Zhao Yunlan's. Neither of them are wearing their rings. That detail stings. And it's a good thing it does—that small hurt in Zhao Yunlan's heart is what gives him enough focus to look away from Shen Wei's beautiful, adoring eyes, and out at…here.
The landscape is ten thousand years of seasons changing, of dreams and silence. Zhao Yunlan recognizes the odd scene, but more than that—he feels that he knows this place.
And he knows what's wrong. What shouldn't be here.
"Okay, baby. Are you ready to go knock down some architecture?"
Shen Wei nods agreement, despite his obvious puzzlement. Before he can ask, Zhao Yunlan points to the massive, black spire, carving a shadow like a scar into the landscape. All the landscapes—no matter what the scenery, the pillar stays, and so does the darkness it casts. Its top is so high up it disappears when clouds whirl across the changing sky. But now, in this rosy dawn light, they can see chains the size of highway bridges run in four directions from those dizzying heights, vanishing into the horizon.
"What…" Shen Wei's vague expression gets a fierce cast, his fists clenching. "I went there. To the seals, to stop—"
Rage and terror rise in Zhao Yunlan like waves crashing against a rocky shore. Not his own, but he feels them so strongly his pulse races. He grabs Shen Wei's sleeve—the Envoy's black robes—for balance, when the sensations manifest, a storm rising around them. "It's okay," he hurries to say. "I promise. You stopped it. Shen Wei, you stopped it." That's the shortest explanation, and one that works to calm Shen Wei. The fear in Zhao Yunlan ebbs. The whirling winds calm.
It takes longer for Zhao Yunlan to recover his equilibrium. It's difficult to apply logic to what is happening, but what he can feel—yes. It's what he can feel. How much. How much of Shen Wei. Emotions that are starting to get more vivid and real than his own, which are growing fainter. And that's—Zhao Yunlan doesn't know what that means. It doesn't scare him, exactly. But the differences between them are like the edges of two puzzle pieces fitting perfectly together. That's how it should be. Not—sameness. Not Zhao Yunlan starting to lose his sense of urgency when Shen Wei has a strong arm around his back to help him stand, and smiles at him.
Zhao Yunlan puts a hand to his head, trying to just—hold himself together.
"Zhao Yunlan?" Shen Wei is looking worried. Zhao Yunlan wants to take his husband in his arms and kiss the frown away, wants to see him smile, wants to—But no. Worry is good. There's definitely things to worry about or they wouldn't be here.
"Ah. Shen Wei. Can we go—can you get us over there?" It's an effort to pull away, to focus his own and Shen Wei's attention on the looming pillar. It hurts to feel Shen Wei cycle through fear and anger and confusion again. Zhao Yunlan digs his fingernails into his palms. Maybe he imagines the tiny sting of pain, but it keeps him from getting swept away.
Shen Wei breathes harshly, hands fisting as he stares up at the pillar. "Yeah," Zhao Yunlan says. "I know. But it's the only way."
Shen Wei nods. "Here," he says, and reaches for Zhao Yunlan's hand. Heart overflowing with pride at his courage, and love for everything he is, Zhao Yunlan takes it.
And then they are there. At the foot of it, everything green and light gone from the world. There's no bright lantern in the sky, only harsh bolts of lightning under an impossible, roiling sky. Broken rock stretches as far as the eye can see. Zhao Yunlan breathes through pounding panic.
Shen Wei is no longer holding his hand.
Zhao Yunlan squeezes his eyes shut. He doesn't want to see Shen Wei chained to the pillar again, doesn't want to see him unconscious, doesn't want to see the look in his eyes when he wakes up and—
The rocks slam bruises into Zhao Yunlan's skin as he falls to his knees, all of it too much, far too much. Fear reverberates in his bones, throat closing on him because he can't do this again right now, he can't see Shen Wei like this again, he can't.
But he can't give up, either. He has to do this. They have to do this. "Shen Wei?" He doesn't know if his trembling voice has carried over the rumble of thunder.
"Zhao Yunlan."
Hands close on his shoulders, effortlessly hauling him upright into an embrace. Zhao Yunlan is engulfed by warmth and love and the scent of the first winter frost.
"Together," Shen Wei says, voice beautiful and rich and sounding every bit as strained as Zhao Yunlan feels—what they're both feeling. "You can do it—we can do it. Together."
Zhao Yunlan laughs in sheer relief, face pressed into the cool comfort of Shen Wei's neck. After everything, he still wasn't expecting Shen Wei to manage to—to join him. At this time and place, where Zhao Yunlan was the most alone he had ever been. The furthest from Shen Wei's heart.
Except now he is here. In Shen Wei's heart. And Shen Wei is kissing Zhao Yunlan's temple, as if they were somewhere private, somewhere safe.
Nothing about Dixing can feel safe to Zhao Yunlan. Not after—after everything that happened here. That was done to him, and witnessed by all.
Slowly, Shen Wei's strong arms are turning Zhao Yunlan. Still holding him close, but helping him face the shadow of that pillar. In it, Zhao Yunlan can see both Ye Zun's prison—the one he trapped his brother in—and the pillar atop the palace stairs, where—
Chest to back, Shen Wei spreads his fingers over Zhao Yunlan's breastbone. He isn't using any power, only touch. Only that palm held firm over Zhao Yunlan's heart. Zhao Yunlan brings his own hands up to cover it.
"You want that gone." It's not a question when Shen Wei says it.
"Yeah," Zhao Yunlan whispers. "Yeah."
For Shen Wei's sake. For his own.
Zhao Yunlan feels Shen Wei's nod. One arm still securely wrapped around Zhao Yunlan, he raises his hand, palm out. He takes a measured breath.
Light blooms in the dark, burning away all shadows.
Zhao Yunlan blinks, dazzled.
The pillar is gone.
It's gone. The darkness of its shadow is no more. The light remains, and in it, everything seems to warp and waver—or maybe that's just Zhao Yunlan. As if the pillar's chains had kept him fixed here, now that they are gone he has come adrift. A strange feeling, even for this place, but Zhao Yunlan is not afraid. He knows he always has an anchor.
"Oh." Shen Wei's voice still sounds very near, in the bright, dissolving nothing. "Oh. Zhao Yunlan. I remember—Didi. He doesn't need the seals. He's awake now. He gave it all back. The pendant—it's not lost. We have it. You and me—" Shen Wei's next word is half gasp, thick with awe and joy. "Husband."
Zhao Yunlan cannot reply in words, but before everything vanishes, he smiles.
Shen Wei wakes slowly, his mind filled with a strange light. The Lantern, maybe, held aloft by hands of Dixing, Haixing and Yashou? It has that same warmth, when he remembers it. Banishing the dark—but no, wasn't that many months ago? The alertness that would normally rush through him—a reflex of millennia standing guard—is absent as he ponders. It should worry him, but he has a bone-deep sense of rightness and safety.
Zhao Yunlan.
Zhao Yunlan is watching over him, and at once that drives Shen Wei to blink. To open his eyes to artificial light far less bright than that of his memory, so that he can see his beloved.
Because Zhao Yunlan is there, of course. As Shen Wei knew he would be. One of Shen Wei's hands between both of his, and he is already smiling. Furry black ears poke up from the circle of his arms.
"Hey," Zhao Yunlan says softly. "You back with me?"
Emotions churn in Shen Wei's chest. There is joy and relief, and a desperate need to close any distance between them. He sits up, feeling light. And—oh. Light-headed, too. But Zhao Yunlan's hands catch him when he sways back, and Da Qing leaps into his lap. Thus steadied, Shen Wei tilts his head back. "Back with my husband."
Zhao Yunlan's kiss is all banked passion. Every touch between them creates sparks, as natural and inevitable as a chemical reaction, but his tenderness and care mellows them into gentle heat. Da Qing snorts, but Shen Wei can feel the familiar vibration of contented purrs. At the edges of his awareness, Shen Wei catches the presence of others, but there is no room in him now for embarrassment. He won't let go of Zhao Yunlan.
Soft footsteps and hushed voices fade as the SID gathered in the lab beat a tactful retreat.
"Thank you," Zhao Yunlan whispers when they eventually break apart. His eyes look wet.
"For what?" Shen Wei strokes his bristly cheek, marvelling at having him so near.
"Everything," Zhao Yunlan says with a small laugh. "Every single impossible thing you've ever done, my clever, gorgeous Xiao Wei."
It feels so good to be praised. Shen Wei smiles.
"And for, you know. For not—staying asleep. For waking up. For coming back to me."
"Always," Shen Wei says, but Zhao Yunlan's words have stirred something in him. A heavy knowledge, not too distant. A dream? A dream full of shadows and fear. And then that light he saw, so bright. That was while he—slept? It does matter to him—he does want to know what these fragmented memories are. But they don't matter as much as kissing Zhao Yunlan again, slow and deep, bracketing his face and caressing his nape. They don't matter as much as drawing back to tell him, "I'll always come back for you, Zhao Yunlan. I told you—I'll wait as long as I have to. But I will never make you wait. And I will always find you, Husband."
Zhao Yunlan's face—already flushed with pleasure—lights up with joy. "Yeah," he says, and swallows. "Yeah." Then he takes the hand Shen Wei has let linger against his face. "And I could stay in here all day listening to you say that." There is such an emphasis there—Zhao Yunlan is stating the absolute truth. "But. Um. You should talk to Di."
"Di?" The shadows in Shen Wei's memory flare. The pillar—something about the Sky Pillar? He went to Dixing. He used the Sky Pillar. He harnessed the storm, set it right. And then—
Icy dread and burning guilt make Shen Wei startle so abruptly that claws dig into the fabric of his pants. Zhao Yunlan has a hand locked on his shoulder, murmuring assurances. "It's okay, baby. He knows what happened, he knows you didn't mean it."
"I have to go to him!"
"Professor Shen, you want to see your brother?" Wang Zheng has appeared like a ghost.
"Yes!" Now is not the time for intermediaries or questions.
"Please," Zhao Yunlan adds, with a reassuring smile for Wang Zheng as he stands.
"Ah Ye," she calls.
And then Didi is there. Eyes wild and rimmed with red, his shining, tidy hair a strange contrast to his wrinkled outfit. "Ge?" He stops a few steps away, and Shen Wei feels such guilt, for making his own brother hesitate to approach him.
Zhao Yunlan has rolled the chair off to the side, so there is nothing separating them. Even Da Qing has left Shen Wei's lap. "I'm sorry," Shen Wei says, knowing the words aren't enough to make up for the fact that he unleashed his powers on his little brother—not in a fight, not to keep him from doing harm, but to hurt him. (To do more than hurt him.)
"Ge!" Arms fly around Shen Wei's neck, as Ye Zun wraps himself around Shen Wei's body like an octopus. Like Shen Wei means safety, and isn't a threat at all. "You're back. You're really back." Didi whispers the words and holds on. Shen Wei can feel him trembling. But it's not fear. What is spilling from him is not blame. And it's not—and here he shudders himself—anger. It's not the nightmare it could be—Shen Wei's attack having set him off, undoing his healing and uncovering all of Ye Zun's rage.
His brother's words and his embrace leave Shen Wei with a choice. He could keep apologizing. Or he could accept that he is forgiven, for this as for so much else. Could accept that some actions—even his own—can be left in the past, as long as they are not repeated. Carefully, every so carefully, Shen Wei places a hand on his head, and strokes his silver hair. "It's alright. Didi, it's alright."
"Are you—are you okay? Really okay?" Didi wriggles the embrace looser, until he can study Shen Wei's face. Unlike Zhao Yunlan, Didi can't sense Shen Wei's energies. But he doesn't need to. Has never needed to. The two of them, they can read each other in ways only those born together can.
"I'm fine now. Just tired." The explosive sigh of relief, the way Didi's shoulders relax—it makes Shen Wei relax, too.
"Ge. You have to rest—and eat, and drink." Didi's voice is firm, now, and Shen Wei has to smile.
"I will take it slow," Shen Wei says, thinking of all the work that is to be done now. With those who were working tirelessly on the Dixing side of the portal, with An Bai, with Li Qian and her team, with—
"No!" Didi stands, and puts his hands on his hips. "You'll rest," he says.
"I promise, I will," Shen Wei tries to placate him. "But first—"
"No buts!" Didi points a finger at Shen Wei, who doesn't know what to do with this brotherly scolding. It is true that he is tired, but surely he can manage a few of the multitude of tasks awaiting him. He looks to Zhao Yunlan, who isn't even trying to hide his amusement.
"What? Xiaodi is right!"
"It's not even dark yet," Shen Wei protests, because surely they can't expect him to take to his bed in the middle of the day.
"Ge…"
"Shen Wei…"
The two identical sighs set Zhao Yunlan to giggling. Didi stifles a grin before turning his sternest glare on Shen Wei again. Then he startles at the sound of rapid footsteps approaching. Zhao Yunlan frowns, and has stepped between Shen Wei and his brother and the door when Zhu Hong appears.
"Chief Zhao, can Professor Shen see a visitor?"
Zhao Yunlan exchanges glances with Shen Wei. He is clearly not in favor of an interruption, but—as he has been trying to explain to the stubborn duo of husband and brother—Shen Wei has duties that cannot wait. This must be one of them. He stands, smoothing out wrinkles in his shirt, and nods at Zhao Yunlan, who turns back to Zhu Hong.
"Okay, but don't tire him—"
Before Zhao Yunlan can finish, Li Qian bursts into the room. "Professor Shen! You're okay!"
Shen Wei is so startled at seeing his young colleague rather than some sombre avatar of power that for a second he can only nod. As if that were a signal, Li Qian rushes forward and wraps her arms around his waist. "Oh, Professor Shen."
As unexpected as the hug is, Shen Wei can't mind it. Between Zhao Yunlan and Didi, he has almost become accustomed to the sensation of a physical embrace coming with emotional release or reassurance. But Li Qian is much slighter than either one, and he finds that he has to lean down to return the hug—gently, of course, and with a pat on her head at the end of it. "I'm okay, I promise."
Li Qian is using the sleeve of her sweater to wipe her eyes, but when she steps back she is grinning. "Professor Shen! I'm so glad you're okay, and—and we did it! You did it! I know Chief Zhao said he would call, but we had all the data and I figured I'd come over in person and wait, and then Hong-jie said she thought you were up and we could go say hi and—" Li Qian has to pause for breath. Shen Wei puts a steadying hand on her shoulder, trying to parse what she's telling him.
"Yes?"
"I'll have Lin Jing print all the data for you so you can check it yourself, but they're back. The portals. They way they're supposed to be. Someone from the Dixing side even came over just to make sure and—they work!"
Shen Wei had thought he remembered harnessing the power of the storm, molding it back into the right shape, like pressing a cog back into interrupted clockwork to make it run smoothly again. But his memories are being slippery right now, and opaque, and until Li Qian's triumphant exclamation, Shen Wei hadn't been sure. Now he feels a huge wave of relief. The two realms are connected again. His people won't be abandoned. "Good," he breathes.
"And—oh, hi Chief Zhao. Sorry for interrupting."
"That's fine," Zhao Yunlan waves Li Qian's apology off. "Saved me a call. Do you want to stay, or—"
"Oh, no! No, I have to run, but. I just wanted to make sure Professor Shen was okay? And let him know that it worked. He did it."
"We did it, Teacher Li," Shen Wei says.
"Professor Shen—!" Li Qian seems half embarrassed, half proud at the title, and at the credit. Well, she has earned it. With everything she has done for the project—and everything she has taught Shen Wei.
"Please text me if you want my input on anything." Now she smiles, and Shen Wei smiles back. He would offer to call, but with everything there is to do, he doesn't know when he can find the time. Maybe there is something to this texting form of communication after all.
"I will," Li Qian beams. "And if we get any more good data—it's so good, Professor Shen, what we got! You'll see, when you're feeling better."
"I'm—" The weight of Zhao Yunlan's judgement, and Didi's, stops him from finishing that sentence on his health as he had originally intended. "I will come by as soon as I can," he says instead.
"Yes—rest up first, Professor Shen!" She looks playfully stern for a moment, but then softens into naked worry. "Please. I don't want to see you for the next twenty-four hours. Remember that I actually understand exactly how much energy you expended down there."
"Yes, Teacher Li." It earns him another smile, and a happy wave as Li Qian heads back out, almost as fast as she came.
Zhao Yunlan comes up and puts his arm around Shen Wei's back. "You okay walking?" he asks.
"Yes, of course." Shen Wei sighs in lieu of telling Zhao Yunlan that not only is he okay walking—it would be easier to do so without his husband clinging to him.
Zhao Yunlan gestures to Didi to follow, and leads Shen Wei into the main office, carefully depositing him in a corner of the sofa. Didi sits down next to him without looking around.
Everyone is there, Shen Wei realizes. Sitting around the table, standing up leaning against the desks. The whole SID, despite all of the urgent affairs of Dixing, Haixing and Yashou they must have to tend to.
"Okay," Zhao Yunlan says, addressing his team. "I think you've heard rumors already, but we just had official confirmation from Teacher Li—the portals are up and running again."
There are cheers and hugs, fistbumps and twirls of jubilation. Zhao Yunlan squeezes Shen Wei's shoulder. "You did good, Xiao Wei."
Over Shen Wei's protest that it was a team effort, Zhao Yunlan raises his voice. "And so is Shen Wei. What happened before—well. What he did in Dixing had some unfortunate side effects, but we're all good now."
This time the celebration is less ebullient, but no less warm or enthusiastic as everyone in the room expresses relief. Didi sneaks an arm between Shen Wei's back and the sofa, and leans against him, eyes closed. None of them show any lingering fear or suspicion, though Shen Wei knows that many of them were there to witness his...lapse.
"Anyway—it's all going to happen now. Everything we've been preparing for together. And I just wanted to say…" Zhao Yunlan meets each of their eyes, Shen Wei notices, and smiles, before he takes a deep breath and bellows, "Time to get back to work!"
Da Qing physically assaults their chief—an elbow to the ribs. The rest of them seem pleased to see this justice done as they groan, and demand overtime and bonuses, which Zhao Yunlan promptly threatens to withhold.
It's a hubbub so familiar and so safe that Shen Wei can track it all without any effort. Without even needing to look. And he doesn't mean to close his eyes and let his cheek rest on the top of Didi's head, but somehow his body slumps into that position. Shen Wei doesn't think he sleeps, but he doesn't notice Zhao Yunlan approaching until there is a warm touch to his knee. Zhao Yunlan is crouching in front of him.
"Hey baby. Let's get you to bed."
Shen Wei's tired tongue stumbles on a protest.
"Ge," Didi says, all scowls. "You can't do anything else until you've rested."
Shen Wei sighs. It's not that they are wrong, his husband and his brother. He is wrung out. But he could still do a few simple tasks before resting—there is an avalanche of them already getting away from him. "Tonight—"
"You're not gonna last until tonight." Zhao Yunlan's voice is sharp. He squeezes Shen Wei's knee, tone softening. "Come on. You saved the world again. You need to recover. If you don't, who'll save it tomorrow?"
Didi stands. He and Zhao Yunlan exchange a glance, and then they each take one of Shen Wei's hands. As Zhao Yunlan rolls to his feet, he calls to Wang Zheng, "I'm taking the afternoon off. Emergency calls only."
"Yes, Chief Zhao," Wang Zheng agrees sweetly. Shen Wei waits for more groans, more friendly complaints. None come. There's no lull in the melody of keyboards and conversations. Everyone in the SID looks—satisfied?
"Come on," Zhao Yunlan says, tugging lightly to get Shen Wei moving. "Let's get you upstairs."
Didi immediately asks, "Upstairs?"
"If that's okay?"
Shen Wei realizes he is not the one being consulted.
Didi nods, and Zhao Yunlan grins. "Convenient to have a bed here," he says, as they mount the stairs together. "We'll definitely have to keep it, even if you decide to move in with us."
Shen Wei doesn't catch Didi's answer, if there is one. The stairs he's taken a thousand times feel endless. Exhausting. His vision is dimming—no. His eyes are closing. He tenses quivering muscles, struggling to open them, to keep moving.
"It's okay, baby. It's okay. You don't have to fight it." Zhao Yunlan tugs one of Shen Wei's arms over his shoulders, as Didi does the same.
"Please, Ge. You have to sleep."
Between them, they take the weight of Shen Wei's body, which feels like it might sink through the floor, it's so heavy. Or—no. Not the floor. What's under him now is soft and giving. Solid pressure on either side keeps him from floundering, lost.
"It's safe, Ge. We're safe."
Shen Wei can feel the truth of those words.
"Just rest up, love. We'll be here."
It's a promise.
One Zhao Yunlan thinks they can keep. "Good," he says, and lets sleep claim him.
Together, Zhao Yunlan and Ye Zun get Shen Wei changed out of his wrinkled clothes and into something more comfortable. It's worth pretending they don't feel kind of awkward about how good Zhao Yunlan is at undoing Shen Wei's shirt buttons but eventually giggles dissolve the tension between them where they sit on the bed.
Shen Wei—Professor Shen, big brother and responsible husband—snuggled in bed wearing cute panda pajamas is fantastically incongruous.
"Adorable," Zhao Yunlan croons, leaning forward to brush a stray lock of hair from Shen Wei's forehead.
His little brother snorts. After a pause, he asks, "How long has it been since he slept properly?"
Zhao Yunlan can only sigh, sitting back up again with some effort. He really misses the ability to recharge Shen Wei's energies using himself as a battery. Not that he has that much left to give. But if he could help Shen Wei be less exhausted—His mind twitches, wishing for the Hallows. It feels like when his fingers would twitch for cigarettes. He gropes for a lollipop, and unwraps it as he answers, "Well, he rested up to go to Dixing."
"I know," Ye Zun snaps. "But that's different. I mean—"
"Yeah. I know what you mean." He has been able to feel it, after all. Shen Wei's weariness, the way he's been draining himself to keep going, to do his duty and take care of his people. To take care of those he loves. "And he hasn't been. Sleeping properly. Not since before..." Zhao Yunlan trails off at Xiaodi's wince, putting the lollipop in his mouth. "Anyway. How are you doing?"
"Me?" Ye Zun still seems so taken aback to have anyone just be nice to him.
"You."
"I'm fine."
Zhao Yunlan eyes Ye Zun over the top of his lollipop. There are a lot of things that Xiaodi is, but fine probably isn't one. In the past two days he's been kidnapped, forced to re-enact his villain ways, and then had his Ge try to kill him. And that's just on top of everything else he's got going on.
"I am!" Ye Zun exclaims. "I'm not—I know Ge didn't mean it. That he meant what he said now, when he woke up."
"That's good." It is.
Ye Zun looks down. Not at his brother's still form, but at his own hands smoothing the covers. "And how...how are you?"
"Me?" Zhao Yunlan laughs at his own surprise, letting the lollipop flood his mouth with fake cherry flavor. Maybe he shouldn't be so taken aback about Xiaodi being nice, either. "I don't know," he says, because honesty seems like the best way to ease Ye Zun's defensive prickliness. "I haven't really had a chance to process."
"You mean—how you got Ge back?"
"I mean everything. This week. This month." He laughs again. "This year, Xiaodi. This year has been…" He shakes his head. It feels like thinking about the past year leaves him spinning. Or maybe it's that shaking his head has made him dizzy.
"Xiongfu? Should I get you something? Wang-jie has tea…"
"Ah. Thanks. No. I'm just—tired." So very, very tired.
"I'm sorry," Ye Zun blurts out.
Zhao Yunlan blinks at him, trying to figure out how to process this. "Huh? It's not you, it's—"
"It is." Ye Zun is looking at him now, determined.
"But—"
"What you said. About Ge being tired, and you—I'm sorry. For—for everything that happened before. I mean—" Xiaodi inhales sharply. "That I did. To you. Both of you. All of you."
Okay. That's new. As far as Zhao Yunlan can remember, Ye Zun has apologized a lot to Shen Wei, but not to him. Not directly. Definitely not like this—holding himself steady, chin up, eyes meeting Zhao Yunlan's. Waiting for an answer. Zhao Yunlan is waiting for the nightmare visions of what Ye Zun did to them to dissolve, focusing on the cherry flavor of his lollipop. It cracks between his teeth, all sharp-sweet splinters.
Ye Zun startles.
"Good," Zhao Yunlan says finally, swallowing around the awkward mouthful of hard candy bits.
"Good?"
"You're my Xiaodi. Shen Wei loves you. And I like you much better like this than, you know. Before. So if you regret all that stuff, you're probably not planning to do anything like it again."
"Of course I'm not!"
"And that's good."
"Then…" Ye Zun tucks a perfectly tidy strand of hair behind his ear.
"We're good," Zhao Yunlan says, and yawns. Maybe Ye Zun expects that there should be more to putting their past behind them, but it's his call to make. And right now his call is that he's perfectly fine having Ye Zun for his brother-in-law. It doesn't change that a past like Ye Zun's is going to haunt him for a long time to come, but it means that anything more elaborate to do with that is going to have to wait until Zhao Yunlan isn't so exhausted. Until Shen Wei's awake, so they can do anything they need to do together. Zhao Yunlan looks at him. Pale, worn, but so beautiful. Even in those ridiculous pajamas, his husband is so beautiful Zhao Yunlan can't stop smiling.
Xiaodi's voice startles him into looking up. "Thank you." Xiaodi says slowly, dropping his gaze before gathering himself again. "And you...you should rest, too."
"Hm?" Zhao Yunlan isn't quite sure what they were talking about anymore. Staring at Shen Wei has that effect on him sometimes. But especially now—knowing that there's no urgent deadline when they'll have to part, no world-rending crisis threatening to tear them apart. Being able to feel Shen Wei's steady, calm presence. Basking in it. He's done that before, but never like this. Never with so few worries looming over their precious time together. And it feels so, so good.
The mattress shifts under him. Then Xiaodi is right there, his expression a strange mixture of apprehension and amusement. He tentatively reaches out a hand. Zhao Yunlan relaxes. It doesn't even take effort—his nerves are frayed, true, but he is also wrapped in the deep peacefulness emanating from Shen Wei. So he lets Ye Zun touch him. It's fine. They're good.
A hesitant nudge to Zhao Yunlan's arm turns into a gentle push. "Xiongfu. Sleep."
"Can't look at my beautiful husband if I'm sleeping," Zhao Yunlan protests.
Xiaodi makes a disgusted noise and shoves Zhao Yunlan, who falls over into the soft bed. He laughs. It's funny. Also now he can snuggle up to his beautiful husband. Nuzzle his cool cheek, hug him close, throw a leg over his. It's still funny, his joke. "You know, that's not true," he informs Xiaodi. "That I can't look at him."
"Just. Go to sleep. Please!"
"I did. I mean. We both did. Because we found each other there too. In the...sleep." Zhao Yunlan tries to explain it, but he finds the details slipping away from him.
"Great. You go find him," Xiaodi says. Maybe he's trying for an even tone, but there's definitely exasperation in the words.
Zhao Yunlan snickers. "He's right here." That's the whole point. He doesn't have to look for Shen Wei. Doesn't have to wonder where he is—if he is… Doesn't have to do any of that.
"Yeah." Xiaodi is so quiet Zhao Yunlan can hardly hear the words. Like he's going away somewhere.
Nope. Can't have that. "And you. You gotta be here too. We promised Shen Wei." That's important. Promises have to be kept. He needs Xiaodi to confirm that things will be good when Shen Wei wakes. That they'll be here. All three of them.
A sigh. "I will stay here, Xiongfu. Right here. Don't worry."
Zhao Yunlan's not worried. Not exactly. It's just. It's important. All three. Because…
"The house. We're going to the house tomorrow."
"Alright," Xiaodi says. "We'll go. Tomorrow. Until then—sleep."
"Sleeping's easy," Zhao Yunlan warns. "Don't forget—you gotta wake up, too."
"I will. And so will Ge." It sounds like another promise.
That's good. "I'll see you tomorrow," Zhao Yunlan mumbles, and sleeps.