Chapter Text
“Is that a hamster in your pocket or are you happy to see me?” Kíli asked, wrapping his arm around Ori’s waist.
Ori looked down and was confused for a moment before he felt something move against his thigh. "Fili!"
"So, not a trouser snake then?" Kíli grinned. “See, I keep telling you that your jeans are too baggy. Get tighter ones. I get to look at your arse, and the hamsters won’t try and tag along when we go out. Win, win.”
“So you don’t like my trouser snake?” Ori asked as he tried to fish Fíli out of his pocket without squishing him.
"Ori," Kíli said with a delighted smile. "You kinda made a pun, I like it!"
"A pun? Where?"
"You agreed that there was a trouser snake?" Kíli narrowed his eyes. "If you've got an actual snake in your pants and or trousers I demand that you give me mini-Fíli right now."
Ori rolled his eyes, but couldn’t stop a smile from touching his lips. “How about we postpone dinner for just a little bit and you can personally check my pants and or trousers for snakes?” he murmured.
“Deal!” Kíli agreed, and mini-Fíli was quickly deposited down on the ground, just in time for Kíli to pounce.
Sighing, as his plan to see the world had been cruelly crushed before it had even started, mini-Fíli trotted out of the bedroom and into the living room. He did his best to look innocent, because the less his parents knew about what had almost just happened the better. They still had their fur in a fuss over the time when Frodo went to meet Sam.
“Dad, Ori and his Kíli are wrestling on the bed. And they’re tearing off each other’s outer fur. Why are they-”
“Clothes,” Thorin said, the very image of calm except for the way his tail has completely fluffed up in alarm. But as Fíli couldn't see his fur from the floor... “The outer fur on humans is called clothes. And never mind what they’re doing, they're just being silly. Just- don’t go in there."
A small chuckle came from Bilbo, curled up against Thorin’s side on the couch.
“Darling you can’t avoid this conversation forever,” he said quietly.
"Yes I can," Thorin hissed. "Fíli, would you like to go dust bunny hunting with me?"
Fíli perked up, and almost at the same time a moan came from the bedroom.
"I'll just go and close the door," Thorin muttered darkly as he slipped down from the couch. Humans...