Chapter Text
A sigh.
Balancing your head upon your hands, you tiredly glance over at the register's clock.
7:32 pm.
Your groan falls upon deaf ears, the noise being swallowed by the harsh metallic hum of the machines surrounding you.
Today is a slow one, the nearby traffic seemingly ignoring your storefront as if it weren't even there. The moon is hidden behind a blanket of dull, grey clouds. You recall the weather forecast calling for rain, and everyone seemed to be rushing past your store and straight to their homes before its impending onslaught. Even the regulars who camp in the store's booths aren't here. What a pity.
You stand back up straight, turning on your heel as you make your way back to the store's small office. It's empty now, your coworker having abandoned you for the shelves that needed restocking in the back. Not a door separates the office from the rest of the store, so it'll be fine if you sit, even for just a moment. However, before you can sit down, a small jingle emits from the door.
Great, a customer.
"Hello, hello!" you call out instinctively. Spinning around with the kick of a leg, you walk towards the source of the noise, heading towards the register. You peer around to see if the customer has ignored you or was peeking around at the store's wares. You glance around to see… No one?
Huh. You look outside, watching the trees lined up on the sides of the nearby road swaying gently in the wind. Maybe the wind blew it open a crack, setting off the door's bell? It's happened plenty of times before, so it wouldn't surprise you if that were the cause. You shrug it off, mentally cursing the wind for pausing your break before it even started. Your shoes clack back to the office desk, pulling out the old metal stool that serves as the only chair you can sit on in this place.
Plopping down into the seat, you reach out to your drink and take a quick sip. Once you've culled your thirst, you place it down and focus your attention on the monitor that hangs above the desk. It plays a continuous feed of video from the store's security cameras, the shoddy quality giving you the barest grip on what's going on outside of your field of vision. Nothing's changed, the only thing moving seems to be the flimsy paper signs advertising sales, carelessly wobbling from the store fan's breeze. Bored, you decide to look away. Maybe you can find something more interesting on your phone-
Wait.
Out of the corner of your eye, you see movement. Your eyes dart to look at the camera feed by the front door. Inside the store, near the entrance, you see a small something placed in front of the tower of job applications for your workplace. It's hard to see, but the most you can make out of it is that it's black and white. A small arm reaches out from the figure towards the giant stack of papers, seemingly interested in what's printed on them.
Oh, so that's who came in. Whoever they are, they sure are quiet.
Tiredly rising from your seat, you stride over to your familiar register once more. You finally take a look at the odd figure that somehow sneaked past your hawk-like gaze.
You come face to face with a mullet. The back of one, to be precise. You don't know why that's the first thing you noticed, but it's hard not to when it's so big and out there. The person's black hair is slicked back, seemingly forced into shape with (what you assume is) a lot of hairspray and gel. You feel like you could knock on it and get a hollow thunk in response.
The next thing you notice is their attire. A black coat that has been through way too much hangs off their torso, partnered with some surprisingly white pants and shoes. The garments appear to be… connected? What? What would one even call those, phoes??? Shants?????? Regardless of whatever portmanteau fits the bill, it's still a strange sight to see. To be honest, you've only seen fashion like that online. Weird.
Following your assessment of the customer, you decide to break the silence. After all, you got back up just for them.
"Hello, hello-"
The customer jumps with a startled yelp, the application they had their hands on becoming wrinkled in their grasp. You bark out a surprised laugh, not expecting such a reaction before your customer service mode kicks in.
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to scare you!! Are you okay..?" You raise your hands as a way to settle things down, after all, you don't want this to snowball into the customer getting mad at you. You deal with that enough already.
The figure finally turns towards you, revealing their face. Your eyebrows raise immediately at the sight.
Before you stood a little puppet of a man, his head is much too large for his small body. You wonder how he can even stand with how odd his proportions are. His mullet, which you notice is graying at the roots, frames his small face. Years of wear and tear have turned what was once pure white skin into a yellowed cream, minus the two red dots that are painted onto his cheeks. A long nose sprouts out of his head with a pair of large pink and yellow lenses propped on its bridge. Beneath it appears to be the biggest feature of him all; his mouth. Solid black lines run down either side of it, resembling that of a marionette's. He's lacking lips, leaving his large set of teeth out in the open for all to see. His mouth seems to be locked in a permanent award-losing smile, his jaw creaking open as he speaks.
"AH, IT'S [[No Problemo]]!!! YOU JUST HAPPENED TO [Gotta Catch 'Em All!] ME BY [Suprise]!!!"
...Whatever THAT was, you weren't expecting it.
You blink, completely flabbergasted for a moment, before coming back to reality.
"Oh, okay!!! Can I help you?" is all that manages to come out. Thank god you've been working here for years, otherwise, you wouldn't have recovered as quickly as you just did.
The little man looks to you, then to the now wrinkled piece of paper in his hand… and then back to you.
"IT SEEMS YOU ARE [Hiring Right Now!]" he responds, a tiny ball-jointed finger pointing at the application.
Oh boy.
"Of course, we're always hiring!" You nod with a forced smile. While it WAS true, there were plenty of hidden reasons as to WHY your store was always hiring. From flaky coworkers to back-breaking labor for little pay, to the customers… Well, customers could be in a category of their own reasons not to work here.
Yup, this place was your typical run-of-the-mill retailer with a little extra shitty-ness sprinkled in.
The small puppet seems to brighten up at the news, and you can't help the smile that tugs at the corner of your lips. It's nice to see someone get so happy over something as small as that.
He somehow seems to glide over to your counter in the blink of an eye, catching you by surprise when he rests his long nose on the counter beside you. Despite being unable to see his eyes behind those large spectacles of his, you could almost tell he was looking behind the counter as if to see if you're…
...alone.
You tense up at the realization, a hand quickly reaching for the buzzer that's nestled underneath the counter. One buzz would interrupt your coworker's stocking in the back, alerting them to come out immediately. You were getting some strange vibes off this little man, and if they got any weirder, you could call for backup. Keeping an eye on the puppet, you lean in as if to let him know you're listening. Sure, you were faking it, but you can't let him know that you're suspicious. Noting your interest, he perks up and opens his mouth.
"NOW, BE [[Honest]] WITH ME…" his voice comes out hushed (which, for him, is still quite loud), as if he were telling a secret.
"...WOULD YOU [10 Out Of 10, Would Recommend!!] WORKING H3RE?!?!"
...Oh.
Oh!
So he wants the truth, eh? That's… that's all he wants? You nearly laugh. Look at you, getting all nervous over something as small as a job-related question, how silly could you be? This is something you could do on your own, no backup required.
Relaxing, you remove your hand from the buzzer and rest your elbows on the counter. Deciding to play along with him, you glance side to side, before whispering back.
"To be honest? No, this place sucks."
Yes, you could always use more workers here (your work hours could attest to that), but what's the point of tricking another poor soul into working here? Why watch on as they become bitter, eventually coming to hate this place? You've seen it time and time again, and you don't want to see it happen to this guy either.
"OH."
You swear you could see that permanent smile of his falter for just a second.
"WELL, [Thank you, come again!] FOR TELLING ME!! EAHAEHAEHAEHAEHAE!!!" A solid, loud crack sounds out as he throws his head back to laugh. You awkwardly laugh in response, taken aback by the sudden noise.
"Yeah, it's no prob! The least I could do is give you a heads up, y'know? Gotta look out for each other!" Grinning, you give him a little wink. You swear his cheeks became brighter in color, but you chalk it up to your store's fluorescent lighting messing with your eyes. He flashes you that wide smile of his once more.
"I WORKED [Thousands Upon Thousands] OF JOBS IN MY [[$4.99]] LIFE, AND [Not a single soul!] HAS GIVEN IT TO ME [[Straight]] LIKE TH4T!"
"Of course! Why wouldn't I? I don't want you to end up stuck in this place! I don't think you'd want to be stuck here either, right?"
He doesn't give you a response. The two of you smile at each other, yours out of politeness and his out of… who knows? He's been smiling like that ever since he turned to look at you. You clear your throat to break the awkward silence.
"So, uh, is there anything else I can help you with?" Drumming your fingers upon the register drawer, you look at him expectantly. If he doesn't need anything else, then you can go back to the break you had started before he showed up. The puppet looks up at you, cocking his head to the side as he presses a finger to his chin. He thinks for a moment, before giving you a rather simple answer.
"NO."
After giving him a little nod, you wave him goodbye. "Alright then, have a nice day!"
He stands there in silence, almost as if he forgot he was there, before suddenly turning and heading towards the door. You watch him push the door open to slip out between the crack, and only when he's out of sight do you realize that his pockets looked a bit fuller than when he came in.
Goddammit.
Running a hand down your face, you decide chasing him down over what is probably a handful of candies wasn't worth the time or energy. Whatever, you'll slip a couple bucks into the register to "make up for it."
Before you go back to the office, you remember that the man didn't put the application he had back. You sigh as you glance around the store. Customers love to put unwanted items anywhere except their original spots, so it's better to just put the offending items back where they were and call it a day. You circle the counter once… twice… three times. No luck. Guess this is going to be a search-and-rescue type deal, huh? You peek under the booths, by the door, hell, you even check the trash... Nothing. Where the hell did this guy leave that stupid piece of paper?!
Your eyes widen as the realization hits you.
Oh god.
He took it with him.