Chapter Text
Reunions in the movies she adored were so easy. No matter how big the fallout,the love interest would happily jump into the main character's arms,the man spinning her as they laughed before sharing a passionate kiss that sealed their true love. Before now she expected a moment like that to feel beautiful,a wonderful event that would be engraved in her brain until she died. But this reunion was far from fantastical. If anything,this was the most awkward she had felt in her entire life.
“Do you wanna catch up?” was something she said out of reflex,it was only polite after all,but they never expected him to actually accept. Then again,no matter how frank he was back as a child at his core he was a kind soul. For once she actually wished he had shown her his immature side,even if she did leave the store with a bitter taste in her mouth.
The two walked down the stone path,trees lining the road and towering over them. The branches reached towards the clear skies,the river’s waters carrying the fallen leaves away and alongside the bushes that bloomed with flowers.
“It's really pretty”
“Yeah,it is”
There was a heavy silence,neither sure what to say. The park was surprisingly empty, not even a bird daring to break the unbearable quiet.
“Hey so-”
"How are-”
They stopped,voices overlapping for a brief second. There was a moment of hesitance before Sayaka motioned to him. “Sorry,you go first”
“So…what have you been up to lately?”
“Oh,you know,same old same old,” She said,hands behind her head. “I managed to get a job at an aquarium”
“An aquarium?”
“Yeah,I’m the one that leads all the kids on field trips,” They explained. “On slower days they let us hang out with some of the animals,it's pretty fun”
“I never thought you’d end up working there,” Kyosuke admitted. “I always assumed you might’ve picked something related to food or anime”
“I wish” The woman let out a sigh. “I love cosplay but apparently I’m too short to be a big-time model”
The man chuckled,Sayaka raising a brow. “What’s so funny?”
“It's just kind of funny,” He admitted. “Back in middle school out of your friends, you were always the tallest”
“Really?” She questioned.
“Yeah,but only by an inch”
“An inch is still a lot,” The other said,letting out a huff once the man laughed. “Well, what are you up to now mister bigshot?”
“Well,when I’m not performing I teach music at colleges” He answered plainly.
Bright blue eyes grew wide. “You still perform and teach at the same time?”
“Of course,I can’t play all the time”
“I just kind of assumed when you become a huge musician you’re always busy” Sayaka admitted with a shrug. “Practicing,tuning,things like that”
“I don’t always perform,” Kyosuke said. “I have to apply or have places ask me first,until then I have to find some other way to make money”
“Ah, money,the dreaded dream killer”
“It's not that bad” He assured her. “Most of the kids are actually interested in it and behave”
“Not like us,right?” She said with a cheeky grin. “You know how I was back then,I bet if I was in your class you’d think I was a real slacker”
“I wouldn’t say that” The other responded,much to her confusion. “Maybe just unmotivated,some kids there are too. Once they actually find a reason to care they get into it surprisingly quick”
“Really?” She prodded before looking up to the sky. “I wish I was like that back then,maybe I would’ve passed my classes with higher grades”
“You don’t give yourself enough credit” He grew a smile of his own. “I remember you memorizing each piece of music you brought for us to listen,sometimes it felt like you knew them better than I did”
“I just wanted to help you know,it was pretty lonely there”
He nodded in agreement,the woman looking back to the ground. She had nearly forgotten how many CDs she had brought him every day he spent in the hospitals,most of the memories vague in her attempts to wipe anything from that timeline. In each one he had at least one breakdown over his career destroying injury,some more angry than others. In one he had burst into endless tears,in another longingly gazing out the window in silence. That night they stayed extra late to keep his mind from wandering and taking fatal action. Yet the one that always stuck was the one where they had lost themself,never able to see what he would think of the horrendous creature she became.
“Do your fingers still hurt?”
“Not anymore,” Kyosuke assured her. “I found some practices online to keep them from tightening up again,now I just have to worry about my wrists and shoulders”
“It sounds like you’re doing more work than you did when you were in the hospital,” Sayaka mused.
“Playing instruments can be really stressful on your body” He tilted his head up,pointing to his collarbone. “I practiced for two weeks straight and ended up compressing some nerves. In the end I had to drop out to get treatment”
“Geez,that sounds horrible”
The man let out a sigh,never fully able to forget the deep ache in his shoulder and fingers. “It was,now I try to take care of myself better”
“Well,I think you’re doing a good job so” She playfully punched his shoulder,the man stumbling for a moment. “Shoot,are you-”
“I’m fine,” He said with a wave,Sayaka awkwardly turning away. She was silent for a moment,focusing her attention to the grass fields ahead.
“One time I was cleaning the sea lion exhibit and one of them slapped me into the water”
Kyosuke’s lips pulled into a thin line,the edges twitching as he attempted to hold back a chuckle. His attempts were futile, bursting into hearty laughs as he grabbed his side.
“It's not funny!” The woman insisted,arms crossed. “I fell into fish water and had to put tomato juice and baking soda in my hair!”
The other wiped his eye,laughs turning to loud snorts. “So you turned your hair into a kindergarten science experiment?”
“Well…” An embarrassed blush covered her cheeks,the woman growing an annoyed yet defeated look on her face. “I guess something like that”
The man took a deep breath,finally collecting himself until only a smile was on his lips. “You really haven’t changed a bit”
“If it ain’t broke don’t fix it,” She said with a shrug. She caught a glimpse of his chuckle,a smile slowly spreading on her face. “I guess I can same about you,the only difference is you got famous”
“I’m far from famous” He light-heartedly corrected. “But thank you,I really needed that”
“You should make some time for your old friend now that you’re in town,” Sayaka insisted. “Take a break,you need it”
“After this show I will,” Her friend assured her. “I might even settle down for a while,it's so nice talking to you again”
“Did Hitomi come with you?” They asked. “It's been years since I saw her too”
“Yeah,she's been trying to get a job at a bakery for some time,” He answered. “It's pretty popular so she’s got competition”
Wait…a popular bakery…”Is it called Bebe’s Bows and Bites?”
“It is actually” He raised a brow. “How did you know?”
“That’s my girlfriend’s bakery!”
Brown eyes grew wide at the news. “You’re kidding”
“Nope” She grew a teasing smile,nudging his side. “Maybe I can convince her to let her fill in for an old part-timer”
“She’d kill me if she knew she got her job through connections,” Kyosuke said with a sigh.
“She doesn’t have to know,” They said with a wink.
“No,I promised her we’d be honest about everything,” The man told her. “I already have to go away for long periods of time to perform,I don’t want to break her trust”
“It's amazing how honest you are” She marveled. “Most guys would take any chance and go nuts”
The man rolled his eyes. “Trust me,as someone who interacts with college students I know better than anyone”
“But you know,I had a feeling you’d be a great husband”
“Oh,we’re not married”
Sayaka stopped dead in her tracks,eyebrows raised. “You’re not?”
“No,” He confessed. “We decided to get married once I’m fully settled down”
“That’s pretty mature of you,” She admitted. “I’d do anything to be able to marry my girlfriends,but none of us can really afford it” Be it through money or legality she wasn’t sure what was the bigger obstacle.
“Girlfriends?”
The woman flinched,blood running cold.
Shit
“Oh, you know sometimes how I talk funny” Sayaka lied,forcing on a smile she prayed would be enough to silence any further questions. “Justs a slips you know,its happens”
His eyebrows knitted together as if trying to read deeper into her words. She could feel the sweat collect in her palms,droplets dripping down the plastic bag in her hands. What was with them? Before they could proudly declare her love and adoration of their partners,cursing out any naysayers but now she could only stand silent. A part of her wanted to be angry at herself, fear overpowering it. Was it because it was Kyosuke? They had known each other since childhood but he had left for so long,his opinion shouldn’t matter now,right? He’d have to leave eventually,maybe he could forget this little slip-up and they’d never see each other ever again no matter how dearly she wanted to reconnect. As long as it kept her and her loves safe then she would take th-
“I’m happy for you”
She froze,mind a complete blank. “Huh?”
“I’m glad you found people that make you happy”
“But…I thought…”
His expression softened,the man lowering his voice. “Sayaka,I’d never be mad about you being happy”
Her lips were parted,trying to find any sort of words that weren’t complete nonsense. It wasn’t that he was ignorant,no,if anything he was more understanding than many she assumed were close friends. Yet still her heart raced,the woman gulping in hopes to calm her nerves.
“Do you want to sit somewhere?”
“Yeah…”
The rest of the walk was spent in silence,the woman unable to face him. Their mind was buzzing yet they couldn’t grasp a single thought to hang on to. The minute she saw the bench she nearly threw herself onto the seat,eyes glued to her feet. Kyosuke calmly joined her side,the woman picking at her blue nail polish with her thumb.
“So…what are your girlfriends like?”
“Um…which one?” She asked,forcing out a chuckle. “I’ve got four now so you’ve gotta be specific”
Kyosuke thought for a moment before looking back to her. “The one that owns the bakery”
“Oh,that’s Mami,” She said. “She’s amazing,she’s so sweet and kind to everyone,but she’s not a pushover either. Even when she’s mad she’s so calm and collected” Sayaka grew a look of admiration. “It makes her look so cool!”
“You think your girlfriend being mad at you looks cool?” Kyosuke questioned with an amused smile.
“Not at me” She corrected,putting a hand over her forehead with a theatrical flair. “When she’s mad at me I feel like I want to die”
“That’s a bit dramatic,isn’t it?” He asked through a chuckle.
“But it's true!” She asserted. “The only thing that makes me feel worse is when she cries” Her voice softened,shoulders slumping a bit. “She tries to stay strong for everyone,knowing I can’t help her with that burden…I feel so useless”
“Worrying about her is a good first step”
Sayaka looked to him with furrowed brows. “What do you mean?”
“You noticed there’s a problem and you want to help fix it” He explained. “That’s more than a lot of other people can say about their partners”
“I never thought about it like that…”
“You’re a good partner Sayaka,” He said with a sure smile.
“You know,coming from you that means a lot,” She said.
“Well it's true,” He replied confidently. “I still remember how you came to visit me every day after school,I swear you visited more than my parents”
A light blush tinted her cheeks. “Was it obvious?”
“Beyond obvious”
She let out a groan,putting her head in her hands. “I thought you didn’t notice”
“At the time I didn’t” He admitted. “I guess I was just as oblivious as you were”
“Are you kidding? Back then you were so smart” The woman rebutted.
“Back then?” He teasingly asked with a raised brow. “What about now,huh?”
They only shrugged. “Well,things change”
He let out a loud laugh,the woman smiling at his grin before poking his temple. “But there must be something up there if you’re a college teacher”
The man wiped an eye,laughs subsiding into chuckles. “You really think so?”
“I know it” She gave his arm a playful punch. “You may be old but you’ve still got it”
“I’m only a few months older than you” He reminded her before rubbing his arm. “And you hit harder than I remember. Do you go to the gym?
“No,not really,” She admitted. “The closest thing I do is help Kyoko with her little league team”
“She plays little league?”
“No,he actually coaches them,” She explained. “You should see all of the kids she teaches,one of them reminds me of you”
“Really?”
“Yeah,he may have to visit the hospital a lot but he’s one of the best players,” Sayaka said. “He’s got a ton of friends which is great”
“Did he ever tell you why he had to leave so often?” Kyosuke asked.
“He has a chronic kidney disease,” She answered. “Kyoko says she doesn’t pick favorites but I can tell she’s got a special place in her heart for him”
“I’m glad that he doesn’t have to be cooped up in a hospital room for months like I was,” The man said. “That wasn’t good for my mental health at all”
“Maybe you could visit him some time,” They suggested. “He has his friends but knowing someone out there that’s gone through what you did-” She grew a soft smile,remembering the old days he could never know. In all of the timelines, he had never seen her double life. In many the very idea creating a rift between them that was bigger than the entire sea. Still,to imagine one where he was there to support her,platonic or romantic along with her partners. “It helps a lot”
“I’ll make some time,” He decided with a determined expression. “Anything to help a kid feel less alone”
“Let’s make it a surprise,” She said with a mischievous grin.
“Will Kyoko be okay with that?” Kyosuke cautiously questioned.
“I’m sure she’ll be fine,” Sayaka assured him with a wave of her hand. “She gives us plenty of surprises,this’ll be payback”
“You mean to thank her,right?”
Her only answer was her cat-like grin.
“Sayaka” His tone was warning but they both knew full well there wasn’t much he could do to stop her,especially when she had come up with any exciting plans. The man let out a tired sigh,letting his head drop. “Don’t do anything you’ll regret”
“I won't,” She promised him,the man giving her a raised brow. “Fine fine,I’ll tell her before you show up”
“Thank you”
“He likes music too,” She noted. “Maybe bring your violin too”
“I don’t know…it's special to me” He replied. “It's the one you blessed when we were kids”
She raised her brows. “You remember that?”
“How could I forget?” He sarcastically asked. “There were only two hundred people waiting for me to play outside”
“But you still gave an amazing performance”
“Yeah,but I only got over my nerves because of you” Kyosuked gave her a thankful smile. “I don’t think I would have ever gotten this far if you weren’t there”
They were silent for a moment,the sentiment echoing in their mind. These words,they were so simple but somehow they managed to make her chest tighten. She wasn’t sure whether it was from gratitude or guilt and in truth, she wasn’t sure whether or not she wanted to find out.
“You’re my best friend,” They finally said. “Why wouldn’t I support you?”
He let out a hum in acknowledgment,looking to his arm. A faint scar ran across it,the jagged line crossing his tendons. Just one wrong move on the days they tore,then his entire career and future would have ended forever. “You know…I never really understood why out of everyone the universe chose me to get a second chance”
“Yeah…” She hesitated,glancing at the now healed limb. Of course she knew why,she had in every timeline. But taking credit for such a miracle,it would mean revealing everything,showing him a world that even she questioned was real at times. The very first time she had thought to do so she had become something monstrous,something impossible to love or share the gallons of love she once had for him. Witches were a thing of the past, they all knew that,so why did the idea seem so scary even now?
The man ran a finger over the scar,feeling the rough skin that was carefully sewn back together. He thought for a few seconds,glancing out of the corner of his eye. The woman sat,shoulders tense and hands folded in her lap. There was one reason he could think of,but did she even know?
“Hey, do you-”
The two sat wide eyed,words said in unison. There was a palpable silence before she motioned to him. “You first”
“Do...Do you ever feel like something is too real to be a dream?”
Her eyebrows furrowed. "What do you mean?"
"I used to have these dreams...dreams where I wished for my hand to be fixed" He pressed down on the rough skin,remembering how badly it stung after the first surgery. "But it came at a price, I had to fight monsters and use what was left of them to heal me"
He caught her blank expression,regret gnawing at his shoulder. "It sounds silly,doesn't it?"
Sayaka gulped,hoping he wouldn't notice her sweating palms. "What else happened in them?"
"There was a strange cat thing who put my soul in a gem" He continued. "In each dream it found me. It didn't matter how many times I tried to avoid it,it was always waiting until I couldn't say no"
"Was there anyone else in the dream?"
"No" He answered solemnly. "I was always fighting alone"
"That's horrible," She said softly
"Yeah...but it was just weird dreams," Kyosyke assured her,setting his arm back in his lap to hide the only constant within his nightmares. "I died in all of them but I'm still here,right?"
Blue eyes grew wide,a look of horror on her face. "That's not okay! You shouldn't have had to fight at all,that thing took advantage of you!"
"It's just a dream" He repeated,the woman curling her hand into a frustrated fist. "It doesn't mean anything" Maybe if he said it enough times he could convince himself that it was nothing more than an overactive imagination.
"Kyosuke..." She unfurled her fingers,reaching for him. He avoided her concerned gaze,the other reluctantly pulling her arm back. They bit their bottom lip,glancing to his arm before speaking. "What would you do if it wasn't a dream?"
"That's not possible"
"But what if it wasn't?" She prodded. "What if you knew someone who saw the same thing? They were so sure they had lived through everything you think is a dream,would you listen to them?"
She waited,the man staring at his hands with an unsure look. They had healed naturally,the doctor had repeated that every time he asked with a hint of annoyance. From the corner of his eye he could see his friend hold an uncharacteristically serious expression. No,the longer he looked the more sure he was that serious was an understatement. It was something more intense than any sort of expression he had seen cross her face in the past,even in the most dire situations.
The man finally took a deep breath,turning to face her. "If it's you, I'll believe it"
Sayaka slowly stood,towering over him for the first time in a long while. She slowly pulled a necklace out from her sundress and undid the small clasps,a black orb pierced with a thin metal needle hanging from the chain. She made sure their gazes were locked,expression unwavering as she held it in her palm. "Kyosuke,all of those dreams were real. Each one was a new timeline and the price of fixing your hand was collecting Grief Seeds like this one and becoming a Magical Girl just like me and my partners"
Anxiety was hidden under her determined expression,the woman hoping none of it seeped through. "There's so much more that Kyubey never told you that I can but I can only tell you if you believe me"
Brown eyes drifted from her eyes and to the dead Seed. He reached for it,stopping half way. She held it as if it was nothing more than jewelry,the man unsure why it still seemed so frightening. If it was dormant in her hands then it was safe and if it was safe with her that could only mean one thing.
He took a deep breath before reaching into his button-down shirt. From it, he slowly pulled out a similar necklace,a gem no bigger than his pinkie hanging from its center. It was a bright silver that rest within a gold base with thin jeweled strips that trapped the gray gem inside. The tip spiraled into a shiny coil,its end connecting to a silver chain. “So it was real”
Even knowing the truth she couldn't help but be stunned,the man running his thumb over the smaller jewels. “Do you still have yours?”
“Yeah,it's at home,” She answered. “But this Grief Seed, I carry it everywhere”
“Why?”
She tilted her head in confusion,Kyosuke staring at his reflection in the Gem. “These Gems brought us nothing but misery,they decided whether or not we were going to die or become witches" His grip on the now dead Gem tightened. "How can you even look at it without getting upset?”
“Because…” She looked to the seed, the reflection of a once hero staring back at her. “This one,it doesn’t mean that to me. This was my Grief Seed but the person who ended all of our suffering cleansed it. To me, this isn’t a sign of despair,its proof that I always had the right to hope for a better world than the one given to us”
The man stared at her for what seemed like an eternity before letting out a weak chuckle. “That’s just like you,always putting a positive spin on something”
“If this entire Magical Girl business thing taught me is that there’s always a reason to hope" She stared at the blue haired girl in the Gem's glass with a fond smile. "Hanging on to that hope is what brought me and my friends together,even at moments where I felt so helpless"
“I wish I could think like you,” He confessed. “I only wear this to remind me that being a Magical Girl…it was the worst decision I ever made in my life. I can’t ever let that happen again”
“I never knew Kyubey looked for boys too,” Sayaka admitted.
“It was only once,” He said. “I was just a test to see if boys could give as much energy as girls but apparently boys aren’t emotional enough for our energy to make a difference”
“Judging by how you talk about it I think you’ve got some pretty big emotions,” His friend stated bluntly.
“Now I can talk about it a bit easier but before I’d rather die than admit I regretted it” Kyosuke took a deep breath,trying to keep his mind from wandering into dark places. “I couldn’t be the sick,timid boy I was before I made that wish. I needed to prove that I deserved this new body no matter what”
“You don’t have to prove you deserve to live a happy life,” The woman told him.
“But I was given a second chance,not many people in my situation could have that luxury” His grip on the Gem tightened,the woman wondering just how it hadn’t cracked yet. “Every time I made that wish people suffered,I couldn’t let it all be in vain”
She hesitated for a moment,looking to her own Grief Seed. Those words seemed so familiar,a part of her wondering how long he had managed to stave off turning into a witch what that mentality. Before she thought it was something noble but hearing it come from someone else,she couldn't but notice there was a bit of sadness to it. “That sounds like something a hero would say”
“A hero…” His grip grew stronger,the crystal somehow surviving his tense hold. “I killed people Sayaka. Those witches,they were other kids that were suffering just like us and I killed them”
“We couldn’t save them” She reminded him in a gentle tone. “We had to defeat them or else we’d end up even worst”
“How can you say that so easily?!” A mix of frustration and despair crossed his face. "You turned into a witch in so many timelines,what if I had to kill you?"
She tensed at his words,remembering another timeline where she met a similar fate. It wasn't by his hands but by someone who was almost a complete stranger. Someone who willingly sacrificed herself to keep her company in death and someone she could say she truly loved now. But Kyosuke,kind as he was,could never do such a thing. "If it meant my best friend could live a bit longer then I'd be fine with you defeating me"
"Sayaka..."
“And playing violin meant everything to you,” Sayaka reminded him. “You were so sure it would be your future,your wish makes total sense”
“I could’ve changed my future,” He said,voice cracking. “I could’ve started as a teacher, I could have been a construction worker,I could have done anything else but I was so stupid and stubborn!”
“Kyosuke…” She rest a hand on his shoulder for comfort,the man letting her. “We were fourteen, I thought a boy not liking me was the end of the world. These problems may look small now but back then any chance to escape the pain was worth it. None of this was your fault”
“I hurt so many people Sayaka” Tears pricked in the corners of his eyes,her friend finally facing her. “I hurt you most of all”
“I didn’t even know you were like me,” She said. “I’m not mad you didn’t-”
“You became a witch because of me”
Her heartbeat came to a stop,the usually collected man gulping back the lump in his throat. “I remember every timeline now. In so many you became a witch because of me, you used a wish you could have had for yourself to save me,you tried to use a wish to stop me from becoming a witch even though you knew nothing would happen. I ruined your life Sayaka,just admit it!”
It wasn’t as if he was lying,a part of them surprised that he could even remember the timelines they tried to distance from their memory. The ones where she couldn’t remember each failure that ended in misery she had used her wish for a boy who never noticed her feelings. The only time she had used it for herself was a short one, a timeline where all she could wish for was a friend after Kyosuke had passed. It didn’t matter who or how,just anyone to make her miserably lonely life as a Magical Girl worth it. Her karma was the girl becoming a witch in her arms,confessing her love before the world around them burst into paper flames and silver carousel horses carried away her lifeless body. It was then she finally accepted something as raw as love couldn’t be forced no matter how hard she tried. It was a hard truth but one they needed to carry on those sacred memories for their partner and savior of this world.
“It's true,” She finally recognized. “I did make those wishes thinking you would fall in love with me but you couldn’t control who you did and didn’t like”
The man wiped his eyes,not believing a single word.
“We both made mistakes,didn’t we?”
“But we didn’t have to,” He sniffled. “We could have just said no,we could have just ignored it,no wish is worth what Hell that thing put us through!”
“Kyosuke…”
They pulled him into a gentle embrace,the man growing wide eyed before burying his face against them. “You have so many people that love you and all I did was take that away from you,” He said through a cracking voice. “I don’t even know how you can look at me and not feel disgusted”
“We were both suffering,” She responded. “But you didn’t have anyone to talk to like I did. You’re my best friend,Magical Boy or not you deserve to be able to move on and have the same happy life I do”
Tears streamed down his cheeks and into her sundress,his grip on the cloth near deathly.
“Kyosuke,you’re a good person” She pulled away,meeting his teary eyes. Her words of comfort were interrupted,the look in his eyes almost identical to what she had felt cross her own face so many years ago. Staring at her in sorrow was her friend yet something about that look was far too familiar. In his pain, she saw an agonized fourteen year old,blue hair a mess as she sobbed words she wanted to spill in the very first timeline she had made her wish. He cried as she desperately wanted to,holding onto the one person he trusted his life with as she wanted to. Yet this man,he didn’t have to suffer alone as she did. He didn’t have to become a witch over and over again as she did,not anymore. Sayaka let him cling onto her for dear life,her voice soft and gentle. “It must have been so lonely,you were just a kid who wanted to grow up without suffering”
“But it wasn’t fair”
“It wasn’t” She gulped back the lump in her throat,shutting her eyes. “It really,really wasn’t”
He sniffled,putting on a weary smile. “At least I know I’m not crazy”
“I used to think the same,” She confessed. “Even with people beside me who’ve been through it with me,everything stopped feeling real when we didn’t have to fight anymore”
“I never thought it would ever end,” Kyosuke confessed “With that stupid, stupid cat thing it felt like I’d have to do this until I died”
“But it's over now” She reminded him softly. “It's all over”
He took a shaky breath,trying to speak through his sobs. “Do you still feel bad that I don’t like you romantically?”
“No,” She assured him. “It took some heartbreak but look at us now,we both have partners and families to go back to. I’m just glad I could have you as a friend all this time”
“Sayaka…”
“Hey,if it helps,my girlfriend got to have one last say in this,” The woman said. “She beat the crap out of Kyubey before he ran away for good”
He let out a weak chortle. “Tell her I said thank you”
"Maybe you can talk with her," She suggested. "Or all of us,talking with people that know what you've been through can really help"
"I think I'd like that"
He took one last deep breath,pulling away from her with a bitter laugh. "Look at me,I'm a grown man and I'm sobbing over something that happened years ago"
"That's still fine" She reassured him. "It may not look like it but even we have days where it's all we can think about"
"Really?"
"Yeah," She thought for a moment before folding her arms. "Sometimes I get scared of feeling sad or angry because I think I might turn into a witch again,but that's what therapy is for"
He looked to her with furrowed brows. "There's therapy for Magical Girls?"
"We weren't the only Magical Girls that grew up," She said with a grateful smile. "I'm just glad there's anyone that can speak from experience and help other people like us"
"Do you think I should see her?" He asked.
"One hundred percent" Sayaka answered with a nod. "And the one we go to does it free of charge"
"She sounds like a Saint," The other mused.
"She's a real lifesaver" His friend agreed. "Mami is actually at an appointment today,I go to see her again this Thursday"
"You really have everything sorted out huh..."
"Not completely," She said. "But we just all take it one step at a time,that's all we can do"
Kyosuke let out a hum,looking to his dear friend. She was staring wistfully into the sunset,the man not even realizing how late it had gotten.
Sayaka grew wide eyes,snapped out of their daze. "Oh crap, you missed your party!"
"It's fine," He said with a soft grin. "I enjoyed my time here with you more"
"Oh..."
"Did you miss yours?" He asked.
"No," She answered. "Kyoko is practicing late with the kids and the preschool Madoka and Homura work at has parent-teacher conference today"
"So it was going to be just you today?"
"Pretty much,but I'm glad I got to spend it with you instead," She said with a content smile.
He pried his gaze away from her,eyes drifting to her grocery bag before jumping back to her. "Is it okay if I come?"
"Do you want to?"
"I do," He said with confidence. "I want to be a part of your life again,crush or not you're still my best friend. I want to make up for all the lost time we had"
"Well,you'll have plenty of time to do that," She responded. "And I want to do things outside of music halls,you need to like more things than that"
"I'll try," Kyosuke assured her. "But you'll have to teach an old man like me how to have fun again"
"You'll be fine grandpa," She said with a teasing smirk. "But you'll have to be careful with my partners,they don't exactly mind holding a grudge after the whole Witch thing"
"They can't be that protective"
"Well,in one timeline Kyoko sacrificed herself so I wouldn't have to die alone in my witch form" The woman recounted. "And then Homura created over one hundred timelines so she could rescue Madoka,not to mention how Mami nearly died in multiple timelines trying to protect me and Madoka from Witches,and then-"
"Okay,I get the idea," He said,a nervous sweat on his forehead. "I have a lot to make up for"
"How about you start by buying me an ice cream?"
"How can you think of ice cream after all this?" He asked,exasperated.
"Well I didn't get to have lunch and it is hot out" Sayaka explained. "I like eating sweet things so naturally, that leads to ice cream"
The man cracked a grin,chuckling as he shook his head. "You really are something, Miss Miki"
"Yeah,but a something you can't get rid of"
"And I don't think I want to"
"Good," They said before playfully punching his shoulder. "Cause now I won't let you"
The man let out a laugh,the other grinning at his recovered joy. He really hadn't changed at all.
He let his laugh turn to a smile,a thought returning to him. "Oh,I almost forgot,I wanted to get you something"
"A present? You shouldn't have" She light-heartedly mocked.
"Let me just..." He reached into his pants pocket,shuffling through its contents before pulling out a small bracelet made of blue and green beads. "I didn’t know if we’d ever meet again,but if we did I wanted to make you something personal to make up for everything. I even put a dolphin charm I got from my performance in Florida"
He handed it to them,the woman staring at it with wide eyes. "You made this yourself?"
He nodded with an embarrassed blush. "I know it's not fancy but I didn't want to give you something anyone else could get"
Sayaka slowly grew a soft smile,putting on the bracelet. "It's amazing"
"Thanks," He said with a bashful grin. "Now about that ice cream,I think I remember you liking sea salt"
She scrunched her nose in disgust,her friend letting out another laugh. "I'm kidding,I know strawberry is your favorite"
"With the fruit chunks," She added.
"Right,with the fruit chunks," He said. "I think there's a good ice cream place around here,I just hope they didn't shut down while I was gone"
"Actually..."
Kyosuke looked to his friend,the woman thinking for a moment. "Let's get that and a caramel pint"
"A whole pint?"
"I want to get some for Mami," She declared. "She's been on a caramel kick lately"
"You really care about her," He said,voice soft.
"Of course I do," Sayaka responded. "She's my future wife"
"It's really sweet," Her dear friend mused. He finally stood,a weight tapping his neck catching his attention. “My Gem…”
“What are you going to do with it?” Sayaka asked.
Kyosuke pondered the thought before untying the necklace. He stared at it,finding his reflection staring back at him. Every time he looked into its glass all he saw was the fourteen year old boy forced to fight for his life,a lonesome boy who felt guilty for being alive after being tricked into thinking he was just as monstrous as the Witches he had fought long ago. Now he saw a man,the boy having finally grown past those days. He still had his cracks and insecurities but now he could safely say he had put that boy and his fears to rest.
He took a deep breath before tossing the necklace into the river with every bit of force in his body running straight to his once injured arm. It broke through the water’s surface leaving ripples behind,the Gem slowly sinking deeper and deeper until it hit the bottom of the river,thousands of miles separating it from its once owner.
“I’m not going to punish myself anymore” He decided. “It's going to be hard but I’m ready to move on. I’m don’t want to let this keep me from enjoying the future with Hitomi, you, and any friends I make from now on”
The woman watched the relief spread across his face,his entire body finally relaxed. She grew a similar smile,the ache in her chest slowly pulling her lips back down. “There is one thing you missed…”
“What is it?” He asked,confused.
"The reason I freaked out over the rum in the cake..." She took a deep breath,putting on a brave face. "It's about Mami's,she’s going to have a baby"
Brown eyes grew wide,the man's jaw nearly dropping to the floor. "A baby..."
"Yeah..." She fiddled with the beads of the bracelet before speaking. "She's two months along now"
“That’s amazing,” He said,the woman not sharing his enthusiasm. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, it's just…” She hesitated,pulling on a bead before letting it hit her skin. “I’m kind of scared”
“Scared?”
“Yeah” She let out a nervous chuckle. “Kind of late for that,right?”
“What are you scared of?” He asked. “You’re a great partner,not to mention how you survived fighting Witches and Wraiths while balancing middle school and a social life”
“But that’s what I’m nervous about,” They confessed. “I’m so used to talking about my old life with my partners because we were all there like a family. Now our family is growing but…but I’m not sure if I want to tell our baby about that part of my life”
Kyosuke raised a confused brow,Sayaka focusing on the little charm she rolled between her fingers. “How can you even explain that to a child? The fact that your parents died over and over again and became something so far from human all because they were in pain…”
She pulled her hand close to her chest,grasping her Grief Seed. “I don’t want her to hide her feelings because she’s scared we might turn into Witches or think she has to sacrifice herself like all of us did”
Sayaka gulped,trying to steady her trembling hands. “I don’t want them to know how much we suffered but I can’t hide this from them forever. They could hate us even more if they found out on their own, I don’t want them to think they can’t trust their own parents anymore”
“Sayaka…”
They took a shaky breath,slowly crouching and curling into themself. Breath,just breathe like Ahiru said. She wasn’t going to turn again,she had to remind herself. Witches were gone, Wraiths were gone, Magical Girls were gone. This was a new life,she was safe now,but the little human that her dear Mami would bring into the world,could they ever be truly safe?
A gentle hand rest on her head,the woman looking up with teary eyes to find Kyosuke by her side and giving her the same warm smile that made her heart flutter a decade ago.
“Being a Magical Girl was a major part of your life” He reminded her softly. “It's how you met your partners and saved so many people that don’t even know it. Its like you said,hiding how much something hurts will only make it worst”
“But how can I tell them something so horrible?”
“Just be ready to answer if they ever ask”
Their eyebrows furrowed,the man continuing. “You don’t have to go into gruesome detail,just be honest like how you were with me. Who knows,she might even say you were a hero”
Blue eyes stared at him before they wiped them with a weak chuckle. “I thought you said we weren’t heroes”
“No,but little kids think their parents are heroes already,” He responded. “If your kid knew you actually saved lives they’d definitely look up to you”
“You really think so?” She asked.
“I know I do,”
Sayaka cracked a grin. “They’re going to love you”
Kyosuke scratched the back of his neck with a bashful grin. “It's a bit early to say that,isn’t it?”
“I don’t think so,” She said with the return of her usual confidence. “Why wouldn’t they love their Godfather?”
His eyes grew wide. “Godfather?”
“Yeah,I was actually going to ask you about that,” Sayaka said. “You’re my best friend,if I had to pick anyone to help me raise them I want it to be you”
“I’ll do it” He replied with a committed look on his face. "I promise I'll give everything to help raise them to be even half as amazing as you are"
She grew a warm smile of her own. "Thanks Kyosuke,this means the world to me"
"Have you thought of a name yet?"
"We were thinking Nagisa if they were a girl," She answered. "And if they were a boy then Kyosuke"
"You...You were going to name your baby after me?" He asked in disbelief. "After all I did to you?"
"I don't want to remember you for something you couldn't control," They said. "I wanted to remember you as my friend,the person I was closest to until that moment and the person I still want to be close with"
"Sayaka..." He grew a soft smile,the warmth she found comfort in filling his eyes. "This sounds childish,but can you promise me we can always be like this?"
She held out her hand,pinkie finger raised. “You don’t have to ask me twice”
He curled his pinkie finger around hers,sealing the promise. “Let’s always come back to each other no matter how busy life gets”
“You got it,” She said with a smirk. “And if you disappear again I’m chasing you down myself”
He let out a chuckle. “You don’t have to do that,I’m not going anywhere”
“Now let’s get that ice cream,” Sayaka said.
“Alright,alright” Kyosuke stood,helping his friend to his feet.
“And you’re paying of course”
“Why me?” He asked with a raised brow.
“Friends buy each other ice cream,” She said matter of factly,hands behind her head.
“How about this,whoever gets there first has to pay” The man offered.
“Sounds good to me”
He bent down as a track star would,smirking already. “And don’t go easy on me,I got some leg muscle back to make up for all that time in the hospital”
“I’m sure you have,” She teased,her stance casual in comparison.
“We go when I say three-”
Already she dashed off,fast as a bullet in her flip flops as the man stood flabbergasted. “HEY!”
“You said three!” She said with a grin,keeping up her impossibly quick pace.
He let out a gasp before taking off after the woman. Even in their competition he couldn’t help but grow a wide,child-like smile. The wind pushed his hair back,a weight off his shoulders as he chased after his childhood friend,following her into a brighter future. For the first time he could say he was free, able to breathe knowing he wasn’t alone anymore.