Chapter Text
Bill didn’t trust this, well that was partially a lie, he trusted Shooting Star and didn’t think Northwest was much of a threat but Pine Tree? He was a danger and even now Bill had to correct himself that he should use their names, not the nicknames that put a red flag on him telling others that he was him. He wasn’t supposed to know about the circle, about the two that were inexplicably linked to it, the two he wasn’t even supposed to know. It was hard to rewire his brain into a stranger, but it was important, essential to everything he wanted to do, anything else was an unnecessary risk in this world he hurt and that understandably had a grudge against him. Even his name was something else, close to home sure, but he was William now. It was different, close to his real name but enough to hide who he was.
He felt like an imposter and in a way, he was but it wasn’t like he was crafting his personality, just his name and other things that would link him to his past. Part of him wanted to say it so he could be punished for everything but still there was more to it than just guilt, he needed to get back and he needed to remember why he was here in the first place. He couldn’t just relinquish himself to humans because he felt guilty, it was stupid that he felt guilt in the first place, he was a demon, he accepted that a long time ago. (A part of him cried that he was a human now, that he felt human emotions and that he should get a chance to live too, a chance he didn’t get during a time where he wasn’t a human. He ignored that part like he had ignored it his entire life, he didn’t deserve things, he never did.) Plus, even if he didn’t get back to his old ways, he needed to explain things to the AXOLOTL so he didn’t get smited off the face of the earth, which would be even less fun than dealing with whatever humans wanted with him.
So, he would just deal with what he had to and that was getting close to the Pines family so he could get some food, maybe a mattress for his bedframe and if he was lucky a job. Everything else could be dealt with later when he wasn’t worried about his very real hunger.
He walked with them, not missing the way Dipper stared at him as if he was a threat, finding it ironic how little the other actually knew. He wasn’t much different than how Bill remembered him, even if he did carry a level of maturity that came with age. It was almost a relief seeing Bill wasn’t completely out of his water, that some things stayed the same even as other things changed. Though it wasn’t a good thing either, that calculating stare reminded Bill that he was being watched and that any misstep could probably get him killed again. It was scary even while there was that comfort.
The inside of the diner was a cozy as it looked from the inside, charming and safe even if Lazy Susan herself was chaotic and loud. Though maybe it was just him finding the weird cozy, he was a demon of chaos after all, and he surrounded himself in it even before all of this happened. He did see the way Pine- Dipper relaxed in the place though, finding himself wondering if they shared that feeling of safety when it came to odd places like this. He knew it was better than Dipper’s own home, from the glimpses of memories he saw, but there was also a lot Bill didn’t know, a lot he wondered about, a lot he found himself wanting to ask about.
That train of thought was broken by what could be described as a mental large red flashing sign reading DO NOT GET CLOSE, and Bill shook his head focusing on the surroundings, tuning in on Mabel talking and saying something about getting him food.
“You can order something while we talk about what stores we might go to!” She said, excitement clear in her tone, laced with hints of worry, “Don’t worry about paying for it, I can take care of the cost.”
He appreciated it, even if he did feel like he was taking advantage of it, it’s not like he didn’t need it but with all that he had done there was a feeling of not deserving it. With a glance at the menu, he ordered something relatively cheap that would still fill him up enough to tide him over for a while. He didn’t want to cost them much but there was still the awareness that he needed to eat. The need to survive overriding the guilt he felt from everything else.
While waiting for the food, he watched as the others talked, Pacifica seemed to have a lot of knowledge in all of this, so he was willing to just let her lead the conversation, he didn’t even know what shops were around this town, not caring for much outside of his current tasks. It was something that actually helped his stranger from out-of-town persona, a backstory he would build upon when the time came. He was more just relieved by the ability to not have to talk, he knew he messed up back there when he saw Dipper’s increasingly suspicious face. He knew he messed up but at least now he knew ‘hello fellow humans’ wasn’t a normal greeting to start off conversations with. Not that he didn’t know that to begin with, but he panicked and made things infinitely worse for himself so way to go Bill, you did a great job.
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The stranger wasn’t making any moves to hurt anyone and that at least relieved Dipper to some extent, he was still suspicious of the stranger, but he knew at least now that he probably wouldn’t attack them, right now anyway. Will, as his twin had dubbed him, was quiet as Pacifica and Mabel talked, he looked contemplative and Dipper knew the same expression was mirrored on his face, though more distrustful than anything. He wanted to give Will the benefit of the doubt but there was too much history there to just trust a stranger, someone he didn’t know, someone who could easily stab them in the back because Dipper didn’t have a read on him. Dipper wanted to say he could take him on if worse came to worse but knew at his core he was the weaker twin. He may have muscles now, ones he was proud of, but that didn’t negate everything else.
He had health problems, a weaker immune system and while he could live with it, no matter what he did he always seemed somewhat weak. He got sick a lot more often, broke his bones a lot more and even as kids he was the one who was worried about. His parents didn’t worry anymore, hadn’t cared for him since he came out but that didn’t mean the problems stopped, didn’t mean they hadn’t rubbed those problems in his face and asked how he could be a guy while still being this weak.
His parents had always been good at that, bringing out the worst in him and telling him that those were the traits everyone noticed, the constant bullying never helped. There was a lot to deal with when it came to working through his insecurity that came from that, the fear that no one but Mabel would ever care for him, but it was there, he was healing. He was strong in a lot of ways but also understood that physically he’d never be perfect, that there were places he’d struggle and just had to deal with it somehow. It helped that he had Ford to look up to, Stan to tell him he was strong, that he saw those muscles and how much he worked for them but there was still hurt there.
Still, if it came to a physical fight where he had to rely on his fists and nothing else, he was useless. It made him distrust this stranger even more because he could be a source of actual danger and Dipper wasn’t sure how to handle that. Sure, he and his family had taken on Bill and won but if he had to do this alone, if he had to protect Mabel, he wasn’t sure if he could do it.
Though his mind supplied the fact that Mabel could probably take care of herself, that he wasn’t alone and that he had a family even bigger than it once was. Mabel had self-defense with Ray and Ray herself was able to kick anyone’s ass if need be. Wendy had tricks up her sleeves and Malissa was just as strong as her girlfriends when she was clutching a purse (He swore she stored a brick in there). Gideon and Kai were a power couple, able to use tricks that even he couldn’t see coming when they worked together. His Gruncles were strong, could work together to defeat the worst of foes. Even Gruncle Fiddles was clever and had contraptions he knew how to build even as his mind went and left him.
It didn’t ease the paranoia but at least he knew that no matter what they could get through this together, if this stranger was dangerous, he wouldn’t have to go it alone and that was a level of closeness he never thought he could get. It was good and he was glad for it.
Still, after thinking about all that he should probably get back to tuning into the conversation.
“Floors n’ Stuff is pretty good despite the weird name, there’s not a lot of options out here but it works, we do actually have a Savers here though so clothes shouldn’t be too hard, you can even get a good number of other things, I know Mabel finds a lot of fabric and knitting supplies there.” Pacifica said, glancing at Mabel with that last part.
Dipper hummed and nodded, already knowing this, she was most likely saying it more for Will’s sake, probably a good thing considering there was a look of vacancy on his face at the mention of both stores. A couple places didn’t have them, so he didn’t add it to his list of suspicions, even if it was a corollary. Will was weird, suspicious but he did almost pity him for not knowing the store, it was a good place and if he had any money, it would be a place he could spend it so he wouldn’t have to wear what Dipper assumed was family heirlooms. Clothes everywhere else were often expensive but there you could find a shirt for pocket change. He didn’t have things like that he would have kept but that didn’t mean he couldn’t appreciate it, that Will had a family. That or he was non-human, and those clothes came with the form, he could be dangerous or safe either way, but while Dipper was suspicious, he wouldn’t actively assume, he trusted when Mabel said this stranger needed help, he just didn’t trust that the stranger was safe and wouldn’t attack them.
“Alright, sounds like a good plan, we’ll go to those ‘stores’ then.” Was his reply, simple but clear, even if it sounded like he didn’t know what stores were, another suspicious thing Dipper thought to himself, even if it faded into the background knowing they would have to leave soon, he had to focus on gathering his stuff, not the stranger.
Bill was done with his food, it was good, nice in a way he didn’t expect things to be, finding that it was more enjoyable than he thought eating would be when he heard of the concept. Taste was a sense he didn’t have before, he was glad he got this, to enjoy something he hadn’t been able to. It was odd to enjoy things he only could now that he was a human, but it was something he found himself running into over and over again. It wasn’t unusual now, but it made him rethink a lot of things, things he was confident in before but now had a curiosity burning about what else he had been missing, what else he hadn’t seen. Humans were weak, it was a fact he knew, or at least thought he had known, there were a lot of things challenged with everything that had happened recently. There were things he thought he knew but now he questioned everything. Questioned if he was ever right or if he had been wrong about everything.
Yet there was the knowledge that he shouldn’t have this, that he didn’t earn this, a thought that he couldn’t rely on others that he hurt, a feeling that he needed to keep himself alive, get away from everyone so that they didn’t think he was good, didn’t care about him so he didn’t care about them. He couldn’t get close, not with his past, not when he couldn’t stay here.
“Are there jobs? Here, that I could sign up for?” It was a split second decision, one he wasn’t sure of, but it was necessary. He couldn’t steal more things, couldn’t cause more pain to people he already hurt, people who should hate him, people he expected to.
“Oh! Yeah, the Mystery Shack is actually open for help! It’s still running and while Soos is pretty good at doing it we do need a cashier since me and Dipper are going to be busy this summer setting up the house and doing our new jobs.” Mabel was the one to say it, but Bill didn’t process it, more focused on where he needed to work, that was a place he never wanted to be again but what choice did he have?
There seemed to be so many bad decisions he had to make, too many that were made in a split second, but he needed this, needed a way to not rely on others. At least with this he could manage his own expenses, not get close, not find he liked someone he’d hurt, someone he’d destroyed. He was the reason Stan almost lost his memories, he almost took over the world, destroyed everything he now realized was beautiful. The forest would have been gone, the light shining through redwoods to frame a peaceful scene would have been red. He liked weird, he liked this town, but he did too much, hurt people too much and he felt that guilt. He couldn’t change, he was too far gone, he wasn’t a human, he was a demon and didn’t deserve nice things, but others did. Things he almost destroyed, that he would have if they didn’t defeat him. He needed to get away, to remind himself he didn’t deserve this, that he couldn’t change and that he wasn’t a human, that he was a demon and that was what he needed to be.
“That sounds like a good place to work, I’ll look into it tomorrow.” He said, because this was the only way he could avoid hurting others, risks or not. He needed food, he needed things he could keep himself alive with and he couldn’t rely on others to get it for him. Here at least he could deal with his own problems, his own things and not need to worry about whatever else he might have to deal with.
Today though, today he would get the essentials, a mattress and some clothes, things he needed now before he got a job. He felt guilty about using this, asking for someone to pay for things but he needed it, perhaps when he got a job (and figured out how money worked) he could pay them back. He knew there were still things to do, things to care about, but this would work for now, before he had his own grasp on the whole being a human part of this.
It wasn’t perfect but what in life ever was?