Chapter Text
“Well, Tik, what do you think?” Marinette asked, not looking away from her laptop screen. She focused hard, trying to practice something in her head and consulting Tikki on the issue.
“Well…It was… Uhm...” the kwami hesitated, flying over to her holder’s desk with a cookie in her hands. “Can you remind me if there is a particular reason you suddenly feel like you need to practise… those?”
“But haven’t I told you already?” she turned around on her chair, rubbing her eyes rather aggressively. “I want to get better at them because I want to have my revenge for that stupid bet I lost! Come on, help me out here”
“One, I’m still failing to see how practice will help you win here,” Tikki started, chewing on her cookie. “And two, you sure that’s the reason you want your revenge ?”
“Well, of course it’s not,” Marinette sighed dreamily, looking up. “Have you seen how he beams every time he hears me pun?”
Tikki smiled, but didn’t have a chance to respond. A familiar voice sounded just above their heads.
“Somebody said ‘pun’ and summoned me.” Marinette looked up and immediately saw Chat’s head poking down from the ceiling hatch. “Hi, Purrincess!”
“ Aloe there , dork.” she said somewhat awkwardly, rolling her eyes, but still letting herself smile a little seeing that stupid adorable smirk shine on his face.
For a second, Chat just stared at her, not blinking, probably not even breathing. His expression changed for a second as if he was about to say something, but he just dissolved into loud laughter, falling down on her bed.
Annoyed, she took a pillow and smacked Chat on the head a few times, hoping that would stop his stupid, adorable laugh. It didn’t, but hitting him sure helped her blow off some steam.
“Happy to be your mister squeezy, babe.” he managed to say when he finally stopped laughing. Breathing heavily, he rubbed the spot where Marinette had concentrated her hits. “Your bonking skills are at their highest level, but your punning skills leave meowch to bee desired.”
“I’m already great at punning, you know.” Marinette pouted, hitting him one last time with the pillow. “I’ve been practising.”
“You meant purracticing, Mari ?” Tikki chimed in, flying over to them.
“Oh no, I missed it again!” Marinette pressed her hands to her face, whining loudly. “I’m a failure!”
“Aww, Mari, don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll become a great punster. You just need a little murr purr-actice.” Chat reassuringly put his hand on her shoulder. “Like… Okay, give me your best pun.”
“Okay-okay, I’ve got this,” Marinette sighed deeply, preparing herself. “Why couldn’t the bicycle stand on its own? It was two tired !”
In complete silence, he looked around and took one of the sticky notes hanging close by, and slowly tore it in half while looking straight at her.
“What is that supposed to mean?” She asked, furrowing her eyebrows at him.
“Purrincess, I’m trying to say that your puns are not bad. They are more like...” He looked up, pretending to look for a better word for the situation and actively swinging his wrists around “They’re…”
“ Tearable?” Marinette deadpanned.
“Bingo, love.” Chat grinned at her with his widest and brightest smile. “See, not all hope is lost with you. Just need some more practice.”
“You are going to become tearable if you keep patronising me, sweetheart.” Marinette raised her clenched fist, almost pressing it to Chat’s face and trying her hardest to look as threatening as she possibly could.
“Purrincess, I swear I’m not trying to purr-tronise you.” Chat leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on her knuckles. “I bee-lieve in you, but pundamentally you’re just lacking purr-actice. Though I love that you put so much effort into it. Every pun you make just reminds me of why Eiffel for you.”
“You’re terrible.”
“Well, but you love me, babe. Sorry, my young padawan, there’s a long road ahead of you before you become a pun-master.” he said, imitating Yoda’s voice.
“GET OUT,” Marinette groaned. “I bet I can overwhelm you in puns so that you’ll beg me to stop.
“Fur-rst, that’s not gonna happen. And then, milady, I wouldn’t throw that paw-rticular word around that easily if I were you.”
“Why not?”
“Well, considering that you lost the last one…” Chat hesitated, rubbing his shoulder nervously.
“That’s true, but hear me out, Chaton. ” She came closer to him, cupping his face. “I’m not upset about losing that one.”
“Well, I can’t argue with that.” he placed his hands over hers, caressing them softly. “But you will never annoy me with your puns. Not meow, not ever. You’re just so otter-able.
“Sometimes I really want to pun- ch you,” Marinette sighed, smiling softly.
“Hey, that’s not bad,” Chat whispered, leaning forward to place a gentle kiss on her lips.
***
“Earth to Marinette!” echoed in her ears, making the girl look up from her phone in confusion. “There can’t be anything on that screen that’s got you hypnotised so badly, girl. Are you okay?”
“Quick, give me the worst opening pun you have!” Marinette shot out, ignoring Alya’s words. Seeing her friend’s puzzled expression, she quickly added. “And no questions!”
“I… Uh… But wh…” She started.
“I told you no questions!” Marinette stopped her almost immediately, instinctively flapping her free hand towards Alya. “Just give me the pun, don’t think.”
“O-okay,” Alya sighed, knitting her eyebrows. “Howl you doing?”
For a second, Marinette shuddered and impulsively pressed her palm to her face.
“That’s awful.” the girl deadpanned. “It’s perfect, thanks!”
Paying little to no attention to her friend’s completely baffled state, Marinette quickly typed something on her phone and locked the screen with a relieved sigh.
“Sorry, Alya, you were saying?” Marinette looked back at her friend as if that interesting interaction between them never happened.
“Well, I was asking if… Nevermind, what was that?” Alya demanded, obviously not wanting to let Marinette’s strange behaviour go unquestioned.
Marinette tried to come up with a definitive answer for Alya when luckily, Adrien waltzed into class, almost literally. His sunshine smile was even brighter and wider than usual.
“Somebody’s happy.” Alya commented, leaning towards her friend with raised eyebrows. “What kind of happy bug bit you today?”
“Oh, a very particular bug, Alya,” Adrien sighed happily, giving a very subtle wink to Marinette. “I saw something spectacular and it made my morning.”
“Any chance you’re gonna share?” Alya asked curiously, head cocked sideways as she tried to connect the dots from the limited information she had.
“Absolutely not.” He answered nonchalantly, the same wide smile not leaving his face. “I’m gonna enjoy it all by myself.”
“O-o-kay?” Alya blinked a couple of times, deciding to leave the idea to unravel whatever it is these two were hiding. “Anyway, as I was saying,” she started, returning her attention back to Marinette and seeing her face getting more and more pink by the second. “Is everything okay, Mari?”
“NO!” she exclaimed instantly. “I mean, yes, sure, I’m perfect. Why are you asking?”
“Literally no reason, girl.” Alya chuckled sarcastically. “I mean, maybe the slight pink in your cheeks could be the reason.”
“It’s just a little warm here!” Marinette rather unsuccessfully tried to dismiss everything. A quiet chuckle from their blond and presumably oblivious friend swayed Alya’s attention to Adrien.
Since when did HE start to notice things? Alya thought to herself.
From: dork kitten <3
[I can see you blushing with the back of my head, purrincess :3]
Holding back a groan, Marinette furiously typed her answer.
From: Maribug :3
[And I bet I could see your stupid smirking face all the way from the moon, you dork!]
From: dork kitten <3
[I can’t help it, Mari. My precious girlfriend punning at me is the best way to start my day :3]
From: Maribug :3
[You know what, mister…]
Marinette didn’t have a chance to finish her message and had to urgently look away from the phone when Alya nudged her in the shoulder, making sure that her friend, lost in the tight grip of her own phone, was aware that class had already started.
For the whole first half of the day Marinette used every viable opportunity she could find to sneak in random puns to send to Adrien, with every single one making him beam even brighter. Which was a good thing, but also the complete opposite of what she was trying to achieve.
At lunch, she came to him exhausted after dozens of failed attempts, poking him on the cheeks rather aggressively. “You are impossible, you know that?”
“I think you meant im- paw -ssible, purrincess.” He flashed her another perfect smile that, in any other situation, would melt her instantly. “Why? Ready to give up?”
“You wish, mangy cat.”
“You know what? I’m gonna give you a piece of advice, Mari. This approach will not get you anywhere. You need a new one.”
“A new approach, huh? That can be arranged. Sure you won’t regret it?”
“Bring it on.”
***
“Okay, how does ‘ I don’t carrot at all’ sound, Chaton? ” Ladybug thoughtfully tapped her chin, looking up.
“Hardly matters right now, milady,” Chat responded through his teeth. He saw what she was doing perfectly, but couldn’t really say anything because that would mean accepting defeat.
Chat looked around nervously. The thick fog that the new akuma sent onto them seemed to never end.
“Seriously, does that thing even have a range?” He sighed in frustration, eyeing around him, relying almost solely on his instincts and reaction, waiting for the attack from any direction.
“I don’t know, but I bet we could arrange you a test!” Ladybug giggled, spinning around on her tiptoes and easily dodging an attack that seemingly came out of nowhere. With a speed of lighting, a thick jet of steam went past her. “You can ask if they have any spare change ? That would be an interesting exchange .”
How the hell did she dodge that? Chat thought to himself.
“Milady!” He almost screamed, nearing frustration. This battle already lasted too long. He could feel his hands aching and sweat drops forming on his forehead. Surely, together, they would’ve already finished the fight a long time ago.
“Or you can try to make sure that akuma doesn’t have a grange ,” Ladybug said in a babbling way, although making sure he heard everything she said. “Although that would be quite strange… ”
“LADYBUG!” - Chat Noir exclaimed
“Yes, darling?” She looked at him with a bright, innocent smile. And Chat knew perfectly well that she’s just playing with him, but that smile…
“I…” he started. “Nevermind.” Chat gritted his teeth, barely dodging another attack. But this time, his exhaustion got the better of him, making him misstep and lose his balance. A mistake which the akuma didn’t hesitate to take advantage of.
In just a second, the akuma closed the distance between them, using their power as a booster. It all happened so fast, Chat only had time to clumsily swing his baton towards the akuma, letting out a squeak of surprise when they suddenly changed their attack into creating a small area of thick fog around him, leaving him almost completely blind and all but defenceless.
In the blink of an eye, way before he could react, all the oxygen left his lungs. The ground under his feet suddenly went AWOL and his world was turned upside down. Literally. Glancing down, he saw the source of everything bad that had happened to him in the past several seconds. Huge clawed paw gripped him around the chest, hanging him upside down. Struggling to breathe, Chat was about to put every bit of his vocal strength into his next words, feeling how something he couldn’t see gripped his right hand and, obviously, was about to strip him of his miraculous.
“CATAC~” he screamed and everything went black.
He regained his senses almost immediately, or so he thought. He was lying on the ground, his power wasn’t activated, the sky was clear as if this whole fight was nothing but a figment of his imagination. It was only his own shallow breathing and the burning pain in his ribs that were a dead giveaway that the fight, in fact, was true.
“What the f…”
“Miraculous Ladybug!”
“Yay…” he chirped, his head falling back. Exhaustion got him, making him close his eyes for a second.
Just.
One.
Second.
Honestly, it was more like a blink for him and he was about to get up and help Ladybug with the v…
***
“Chat! Are you okay?”
“I’m perfectly…” He blinked a few times.
Roof. Red spot. A big one.
Whoa, it’s getting bigger.
“Ladybug? What happened?”
“Well, while you were doing who knows what,” he could see how hard she was trying not to laugh. “I won us the fight, dealt with the victim, then brought your cute, exhausted butt over here.”
“Where is that… Here?” he asked, completely lost.
“That’s a roof.”
“IS IT? No-o-o-o.”
“If you put any more sarcasm in your tone, the universe will collapse, dork.” Ladybug laughed, sitting down near him.
“Fair. Well, you proved your point. Was it worth it?” Chat asked, out of breath, not even opening his eyes. “Do you realise how close the akuma was to stealing my miraculous?”
“Don’t jump to conclusions, dork,” Ladybug smiled, lightly tapping herself on her laps, inviting him. “I figured him out ages ago. There wasn’t any real danger, but I definitely couldn’t let this op-paw-rtunity slip.”
“Do you have to hate me that much, Bug?” he asked, moving to lie comfortably on her laps. If she started playing with his hair, there’s a chance he would start purring, which would definitely ruin the point he was trying to make. “Wasn’t there an easier way to prove your point?”
“Hate you? Me? I *love* you, silly cat.” she quickly pecked him on the nose. “And I love seeing you get all serious and going all out in fights. ” she gently ran her hand through his slightly wet hair. “So cute.”
There it goes. HOLD IT.
“How did you come up with something so evil?” Chat blurted out.
“Well, you told me to look for a new approach, didn’t you, Kitty?” She asked innocently, still playing with his hair.
“That I did,” he sighed admittedly. “Not gonna lie. I had something else in mind.”
“Like what?” Ladybug asked, genuinely curious.
“I don’t know, but something not as… ruthless.” He said, opening just one eye to look at her. “Well, you won this time. What do you want as a prize?”
“Was there a prize involved? I was just proving my point, dork,” she asked, genuinely surprised. “Besides, I need nothing, Kitty. I got you, that’s plenty enough.”
“Well, there was a purr-ize involved, yeah,” he said thoughtfully. “But I suppose I can just make it a soup rise fur you, bugaboo.”
“You’re asking for trouble, Chat Noir,” she deadpanned, trying to look down on him with as much murderous intent as she could muster.
“Meowch, Bugbug, full name use? I’m furr-rightened. What can I say, milady?” he yawned nonchalantly. “Bad puns, that’s how eyes roll.”
She swiftly clenched her fist, slightly pulling on his golden locks, just enough to make him squeal of pain and surprise.
“Ouch, what was that for?” Chat Noir instinctively tried to jump away, but her hands were firmly holding him in place.
“I think you know exactly what that was for,” she continued playing with his hair, completely unphased by his pleading eyes of a hurt kitten. “And don’t even look at me like that. You know that doesn’t work on me… Most of the time… Sometimes.”
“Why don’t you…” Chat started in a jokingly whiny voice.
“I do love you,” Ladybug cut him off instantly. “Your puns, on the other hand…”
“Now don’t ever try to invoke that,” Chat said, eyes closed, a wide smirk forming on his lips. “For one, I know full well you are meow-dly in love with my puns and for two, you gotta at least punpreciate them for how much they helped us find each other.”
Instinctively, she raised her hand to smack that cocky smirk right off his face, but she got lost in his big, pleading, stupidly, beautiful eyes and stopped short.
“Yeah, you’re right, Chaton,” she chuckled softly, closing her eyes for a moment.
“Is something wrong, princess?”
“No, everything’s perfect, I was just thinking…” she started thoughtfully, still playing with his hair. “Do you believe in fate?”
“I believe you’re a big dork.” Chat responded without wasting a second.
“Y-You are a big dork!” she flared up immediately after, feeling her cheeks get warmer.
“Aww, you’re adorable, purrincess.” He chuckled again, his eyes never leaving her cheeks. “Regarding your question, though, I don’t really know. Not really, I suppose? Why?”
“No reason,” she sighed softly. “I was just thinking how impossible this whole thing feels…” she motioned at them.
“Oh, absolutely damn near impossible, Bug.” Chat said sarcastically. “I get the ancient creatures giving superhuman powers and villains being created literally out of bad emotions, but this?! Like what are the odds?”
“Shut your face, you know what I mean!” She laughed, playfully smacking his chest.
“No, I do, yeah.” he sighed. “But whatever it is: fate, blind luck, or something else, I’m happy that things turned out like they did and I wouldn’t change a thing.”
“Me too, Kitty. Me too.”