Chapter Text
Tubbo shifted in his chair. Eret had promised to have lunch with them, seeing as the three of them were off on a Bank Holiday, but they were running late.
“Like my hat?” Tommy chittered, snickering as he showed off his newly folded napkin hat to Ranboo. The American took one look and covered his mouth, giggling away. Tubbo, much more lost in thought, simply glanced at the folded napkin and nodded in appreciation.
It wasn’t unusual for Eret to be running late – they had a bad habit of being ‘fashionably’ not on time to anything – but he was worried. He’d been worried for them a lot, recently; they’d been off since Cuba, and he meant that in the way they seemed different, more awkward, more likely to look away from his gaze and avoid eye contact, like Ranboo, when they hadn’t been quite so skittish before.
Dream had pulled him aside a little while after the return from Cuba, Phil taking Tommy to the other corner. Tubbo had looked up into misty green eyes and had fought the urge to cry himself out of the conversation just like he’d done with the nurse who’d pronounced Eret comatose.
“Eret’s gonna need a lot of help,” the man had said, tone soft and quiet. The beep beep beep of the heart monitor was seared into his brain. “But they’ll be okay, soon. When they wake, we need to be there for them, okay?”
“Okay,” Tubbo had whispered back, hands shaking where he gripped them. “Are they- Will they still like me?”
“What do you mean?” Dream had blinked. “Why would they not like you?”
“We led them into that alley,” Tubbo admitted, tears spilling down his cheeks. Dream’s hand hovered above his shoulder like he didn’t know whether to comfort him or not. “I wanted to see the bees the old lady had. I— It’s my fault they’re like this.”
“No,” Dream said, startlingly loud. The others looked over, Phil’s head rising from where he was murmuring with Tommy. Dream didn’t seem to mind how loud he’d been. Eret still hadn’t woken up. “This was out of your control the second you walked into that shop. She’d been paid to lure you guys into the alleyway, Tubbo. That could never have been your fault.”
“But,” he frowned.
The blond shook his head, hand finally coming down to clutch his shoulder. His skin was blisteringly warm. He didn’t speak until Tubbo looked him in the eyes, and then he felt pinned – caught in place by the intensity of the ex-SEALs gaze. Privately, he’d thought that this was the most alive Dream had looked in the week since they’d returned to England.
“Did you pay that woman to lure Eret and you and Tommy out?” Dream waited for Tubbo to shake his head in the negative. “Did you tell the Cubans to corner you three in that alley?”
“You know I didn’t,” Tubbo huffed, clutching at his arms.
“Exactly. So how is this your fault, Tubbo?”
He was speechless.
Dream continued on, “I’ve been in countless situations where bad things have happened, kid. I know it’s hard to stop thinking the way you are right now, to distance yourself and see that no matter what you could’ve done, things would’ve turned out the same. Whether or not you walked into that alleyway first or last, Tubbo, you didn’t cause Eret to be lying in that bed. You were there, but you’ll never be at fault.”
Breathing an unsure breath, Tubbo didn’t respond.
Dream’s hand clutched the back of his neck, the tall man crouched to try and offer as much solace as he could. “Eret loves you, kid. Nothing’s ever gonna change that.”
He blinked to life in the present, lungs a heavy weight in his chest. Tommy and Ranboo were snickering opposite him, not having noticed his little pity party. Tubbo was just worried – he’d been overthinking and fretting since Cuba, and coming back home with them stuck in a hospital bed had made his anxiety much worse. Nowadays, even with Eret up and walking around, he was concerned and nervous for them.
His therapist said that was normal – it was okay that he was worried about Eret, because they’d been such a big part of his life recently. Something he hadn't told anyone was that he didn’t think he could live without them. He just had to process that Eret would be okay, and he needed to get it into his head that he didn’t need to worry anymore.
They were somewhat of a mother to him, even though conventional methods demanded they be more of a father figure. Seeing them laying prone in a white bed had made his heart skip a beat, panic sealing his lips and choking him. He’d sat beside them for days, hoping that they’d feel his worry and wake up, hoping they’d know he was waiting and would open their eyes for him.
There was no doubt they liked him – they doted on him, even now when they couldn’t speak, they offered him bright smiles and bought him countless gifts. He’d moved into a room in the HQ at their hesitant signing, Tubbo surprised by the offer in the middle of one of his online classes.
That was something new too – aside from the sudden silence at the dinner table – there came a pressing need for sign language. So, on top of his normal school work, he’d happily taken on signing classes; anything to be able to speak with Eret again, anything to make them happy, anything so that they’d stop frowning sadly when they couldn’t respond to a question of his or a morning greeting because he didn’t know BSL.
It helped. Eret smiled more often now, and smiled with more joy. After the hospital let them out, their smiles had been stunted and pained. Maybe it was due to their leg, or their back or arms or everything that hurt because he’d made them walk into an alleyway to their doom. Eret never said what it was that plagued them, even when Tubbo could understand them, though he understood that sometimes, there were very personal things that weren’t spoken aloud as easily as some hoped.
(Plus, he knew already. He’d seen the words scratched onto their skin after, one day, they’d spilled juice over themself and had needed a fresh shirt.
Dream had fetched them a clean top and had gently pulled off the other, changing them in the kitchen. Tubbo, sitting on the other side of the room, face buried in a book he wasn’t really reading, had baulked at the angry looking pinkish red lines that littered their arms. Suddenly, he understood why they’d been wearing long sleeved t-shirts.)
(Later, he’d looked up what some of those lines had said, just about remembering a few of the word-looking ones. Curses, slurs; everything someone as pretty and wonderful as Eret did not want scratched into their arms and chest. It had made him so horrified he’d been sick. And then, he’d had the next day off school because of that, and he hadn’t been able to look at Eret once for fear of crying or being sick again at the thought of what those cruel people had to done to his mother.)
Phil, who sat beside Tommy with Wilbur on his left, turned to the brunet, whispering something into his ear. Tubbo watched the other man nod and start typing on his phone. Technoblade had disappeared about half an hour before they’d gotten to the restaurant, vanishing from the penthouse like a shadow. Philza had smiled and waved it off, but Tubbo wasn’t stupid – what were the chances of something so important happening that Technoblade needed to be called out, when Eret was out with their new bodyguard?
They’d been going to visit a therapist; another one of many, Tubbo knew. They weren’t having much luck in finding someone who was a right match. Eret was too reserved now for talkative ones, and too shy for the patient ones. Tubbo couldn’t help but feel as though he’d done this as well – making them not feel safe in their own skin, unable to talk or properly express themself because of what he’d done.
Logically, he knew he hadn’t stolen Eret’s voice. But it was difficult to be logical when one of his most favourite people in the world was in pain and suffering because of something he’d been through and had done nothing to stop.
Staring at his glass of water, Tubbo sighed.
“You alright, Tubbo?” Philza asked kindly.
“Yeah, just a bit tired,” he said, hoping his half smile was convincing. “Stayed up a bit too late finishing my english essay last night.”
He’d actually finished it an hour before dinner, but he’d used it as an excuse to go to his room early, unwilling to sit with the others and watch tv. It put him off, especially when the new guy seemed content to lurk around after his tour. Eret hadn’t lingered either, leaving to their room with Dream’s help after a small breakdown no one thought he knew about. Of course he knew about it, because it involved Eret and he had eyes.
“I haven’t finished it yet,” Tommy whined, getting a laugh from Ranboo, who’d probably finished it the day they’d been given it.
Philza was watching him. “Go easy on yourself, Tubs. Don’t wanna burn yourself out too soon.”
“Yeah,” Ranboo agreed, nodding along with the adult as always. He had a thing for listening to whatever someone older than him said and agreeing with it instantly. “We’ve got exams soon.”
“Stop. Those’re months away, in May,” Tommy groaned, dramatically tipping his head back, hands clutching at his messy hair. “Don’t remind me.”
“You’ll be fine, Tommy,” Wilbur looked up from his phone. “Well, you would be, if you actually revised for once.”
“Big Man Tommy Innit doesn’t need to revise,” Tommy declared loudly. It was a good thing they were the only ones in the restaurant, or else they probably would’ve gained a few stares. Eret had probably had it booked out. They liked doing that. “I’m smart enough without re-reading all that BS!”
“Sure,” Wilbur rolled his eyes, dropping his phone onto the table. “I want you to repeat that to me after you fail everything.”
“Reading everything won’t help you learn it, Tommy,” Ranboo added. “I could help you learn some revision techniques, if you want.”
“What, you gonna zoom us from America?” Tommy snickered. No one mentioned how Ranboo would technically be going back to Cuba – nobody wanted to say that place, especially if Eret could be nearby (the shaking hands and wide eyes that appeared when someone said the country weren’t missed by anyone and it had quickly become a banned word).
“Actually,” Ranboo got all fidgety, like he did when he was nervous. “I was thinking, maybe, about staying here for a little longer?”
“That’s great, mate,” Philza grinned. Wilbur nodded along.
Tommy was up on his feet, bouncing about, cheering loudly. “Hell yeah!” Grinned the blond.
“Are you sure? You seem bored with the schoolwork.” Tubbo tilted his head.
Ranboo offered him a small smile. “I’m not staying for the schoolwork, Tubs. I’m staying for you and Tommy.”
“Oh,” he said, teary at the admission. “That’s— I’d like that.”
The door of the restaurant opened, a small chime ringing through the air. Their table was on a raised platform in the far corner of the spacious restaurant. Tubbo had his back to the large wall spanning window. Meaning Tubbo had to turn around to see who had arrived.
“Hey,” Philza called gently. “Everything alright?”
It was Eret. They were being carried by their new bodyguard – ex-SEAL, dark haired, strong jaw – as though they were a child, being toted around on his hip with their arms wrapped around his neck. The bodyguard, Foolish, had their cane tucked under one arm, his other wrapped under Eret, keeping them secure. They seemed happy, head bopping along to a silent tune of their own, left hand clutching the man’s shirt.
“Yep. We’re having a nice little chill day, aren’t we?” Foolish hummed, stepping up onto the raised platform the latter half of the restaurant stood on. With his one free hand, he pulled out the chair beside Tubbo and took great care in lowering them onto the plush cushion. When they were safely deposited, Eret beamed up at the man and quietly clapped. Their cane was set onto the floor beside them, pushed carefully under their chair. “Thank you, sweetheart. You’re very kind.”
Foolish nudged their chair towards the table after making sure they were comfortable and walked around them, settling on their other side.
Tubbo watched this happen with wide, confused eyes. Eret yawned silently and rubbed at their own eyes, seeming less tense than they’d been in months. When they noticed him staring, they offered a pretty smile and signed a rushed greeting.
‘Hello, Eret,’ Tubbo gestured back. ‘How has your day been?’
‘Good,’ they seemed eager to gesture. Foolish and Philza were making eye contact across the table, the blond nodding over to the corner of the room. Tubbo pretended he didn’t see the two men stand up, wondering if Eret would be distressed at having the man leave their side. They’d been clinging to him as he carried them in – and Tubbo knew Eret didn’t even let Dream carry them. ‘You?’
Noting how abrupt their usually overfluffed signing was, he wondered if their hands were hurting. There had to be a reason why Foolish had been carrying them. Did their leg hurt? Why would they claim to be good if their leg had hurt so much they couldn’t even walk?
They'd be the death of him.
‘I am excited,’ Tubbo struggled a bit with the word ‘excited’. It took him a few tries to get it, but Eret seemed more than content to sit and watch him, smiling happily as he corrected himself.
‘Why?’ They signed back just as he got the gesture right. It seemed today was an impromptu test.
‘We are eating out,’ he managed. ‘That makes me happy.’
Eret clapped him on, nodding giddily. They seemed more energetic than usual.
“Hey, I wanna try,” Tommy spoke up. “I’ve been practising!”
As Eret’s attention shifted easily to Tommy, where they nodded and grinned even though Tommy was signing complete nonsense, Tubbo glanced over to where Philza and Foolish were huddled in the corner of the restaurant. They were whispering, Philza looking murderous as Foolish looked displeased – if the new guy’s tight lips and tense stance were any indication.
Wilbur was texting again. His phone pinged with a text and seconds after reading it, he looked up and waved. The door opened with a chime. Tubbo turned to see Technoblade entering the restaurant, wearing a different tshirt than the one he’d worn half an hour ago.
“All good?” Wilbur nodded to his twin. The pink haired man, whose crisp brown roots severely needed a touch up, grunted and dropped into the chair beside him. Seconds later, Philza and Foolish returned. Eret immediately lost interest in Tommy to turn to Foolish, practically on top of him as their hands blurred into signs Tubbo could only half understand. He wanted to blame his lack of understanding on the angle between them, but he felt it was more due to how they were signing so quickly.
“Of course, you can get ice cream later,” Foolish laughed, “Do you want chocolate or strawberry?”
Eret shook their head, fingers wriggling.
“Oh,” the man made a thoughtful noise. “I guess vanilla is the best. My favourite would have to be honeycomb, though. Thoughts, you guys?”
“I prefer chocolate mint,” Philza said, acting as though he and Foolish hadn’t been glowering in the corner a second ago. He’d clapped Technoblade on the shoulder as he passed and leaned down to murmur something to him, something that Tubbo had been at just the wrong angle to even have a chance of lipreading.
“I like raspberry ripple,” came a voice from behind. The entire table looked over to Dream, with Eret waving chirpily at him. “Heya, ‘Ret. You okay?”
They nodded enthusiastically, hurrying to sign at him despite the signs being upside-down for Dream. The blond stepped around the side of their chair, popping in between them and Foolish to see her signs. Eret seemed all too pleased to shift towards the man, further obscuring Tubbo’s view of their conversation.
Tubbo hadn’t heard the door chime. His hands were sweating when he reached for his glass of water.
“That’s good,” Dream was saying, voice softer than normal. “I’m glad. You like Foolish?”
The new guy – shirt pulled tight over his shoulders, short sleeves straining around his biceps, hair combed meticulously back – burst into a grin at whatever Eret motioned. “Aw, sweets, you’re making me blush.”
And then, Eret giggled.
Tubbo nearly dropped his glass of water. Tommy and Ranboo’s own conversation had frozen. Wilbur gaped like a fish as Technoblade stared with wide eyes. Philza’s eyes were watering and Dream stood abruptly still.
Foolish was the only one to act as though he’d expected the noise – the first noise from them in months! Even if it hadn’t been words, it was still noise that had come out of their throat, and that was momentous. “Alright, c’mere,” he cooed, pushing his chair back a bit to allow room for when he reached over and pulled Eret into his lap. The entire group was silent as Eret settled comfortably on the man’s lap, head dropping onto his wide shoulders. A few moments later, after a few slow back rubs and a bit of whispering, Foolish looked up from them. “They’re snoozing.”
No one spoke for a long moment. Tubbo was reeling. He was confused. What about this guy made Eret feel safe enough that they could giggle at him and doze in his lap?
“Can I get anything for you guys?” A waiter appeared. Phil nodded and diverted his attention to ordering food.