Chapter Text
The lingering rage from Inuki’s screaming fit hung in the room like bitter perfume. Jaken waited until he could no longer hear the indelicate stomping down the hall in the wake of her dramatic exit, before he sniffed, indignantly. “That is no lady at all! You can put a cur in fine clothes and she’ll still just be a common bitch. Isn’t that right, milord?”
Sesshoumaru didn’t respond. The imp pivoted to address him directly, panic-sweat beading all over his rubbery skin. Perhaps Lord Sesshoumaru could no longer perceive things properly? He was simply staring, almost blankly, at the shuttered screen, breath lodged in his throat and coming out as only a tight, animalistic wheeze.
Jaken lifted a hand to wave it in front of his face and Sesshoumaru snapped alive again, catching his hand in his own clammy one and still managing to hold tight enough that the tiny little bones in his fingers popped. He whined and tried to pull them free.
“Ah! Milord’s grip is still as fine as ever! And your reflexes are still sharp! But-but might you let go of me before you break my hand?”
One by one, Sesshoumaru pried his fingers from Jaken’s hand and the imp collapsed onto the floor with sore and nearly-mangled fingers that he petulantly stuck in his mouth to alleviate the swelling and stifle the urge to whine.
“Inuki will not let her live,” Sesshoumaru stated, simply, as if nothing had happened. Jaken would have even called it a return to normalcy if his voice didn’t croak so.
“Even if she wins the final trial?” Jaken popped his hand out of his mouth. “Surely she isn’t so much of a vindictive cur! She was the one who set the trials in the first place!”
“Rin was never expected to win.”
That was unfortunately true. All of Rin’s challenges would have been lost had she not been clever and subverted Inuki’s expectations. And the last trial- a test of skill- would be the most difficult of them all. If Rin won, then Inuki’s pride would be in shambles.
She should have known not to go up against Lord Sesshoumaru’s party, Jaken thought with smug satisfaction, until it occurred to him that he was including Rin in that as a useful member and not just a hanger-on that would be forgotten to time. At least he hadn’t said it out loud! Speaking of pride, his coming here to support her was more than enough to destroy what little he had left!
“Jaken.”
Jaken’s attention shifted back to his sickly-looking lord, so weak that even sitting up seemed to cause him immeasurable pain. “Y-yes, milord?”
“I need to purge myself of as much of this poison as I can.” He explained this as simply as he would explain clearing limbs away to make a path through the forest. If it were so simple, then why hadn’t he done it before now?
Sesshoumaru, through rare mercy, allowed him to connect the dots as slowly as he needed to. Purge the poison… Well, he would likely need to expel it somehow and the easiest way to- Oh.
Jaken stared at his bruised and reddened hand like it was the last time he was going to look at it. “O-oh… Okay.” He swallowed.
Sesshoumaru was waiting expectantly, eyes narrowed to slits, the red bleeding back into them, which did nothing to ease the anxiety. That sort of body language indicated the worst time anyone should be considering putting their hands in a dog demon’s mouth.
But for his lord… Anything. Even this.
It lasted only a fraction of a moment, but long enough for Jaken to get teeth marks around his wrist and the fear of the Seven Hells put so far into him, he was certain the underworld shaved off another decade from his expected lifespan. He rocked back and forth in shaking desperation for his continued survival while in the background Sesshoumaru retched violently like a miserable mongrel. He would, under no circumstances, turn around. He would forget those sounds the second they ceased. No one would ever know about this.
In between convulsion-racked snarls and choking, Sesshoumaru finally hissed out (his voice caught between daiyoukai and giant dog beast), “Jaken. Bring me Bakusaiga.”
And despite not knowing where he might even begin to find the blade, he bolted from the room without question, eager to be out of this room and the sounds and smells and the ever-consuming fear that his head might be the next thing smashed between Sesshoumaru’s jaws to preserve the remainder of his dignity.
—
Rin wasn’t forced back into her chambers after the last trial- it seemed her mercy towards the general had turned the guards a bit lax and while they put up a show of corralling her away from places she shouldn’t be, they didn’t prevent her from roaming. The atmosphere had shifted around the western castle a bit- there were still daiyoukai eyeing her like something they could snack on later, but the lesser dog demons looked at her shyly or with guarded respect. When she approached them, however, they went back to their business, leaving her with no other true ally but Jun.
But at least sorting herbs with her in the kitchen was relaxing and took her mind off the next challenge that was due to come with the rising sun.
“Well, kid, you’ve pulled some kind of something out of your ass, that’s for sure.” Jun was working her pestle over some of the herbs Rin had given her, grinding it down into a paste. She’d all but begged her to help her make something for the boar demon, expecting the wound from the demon leech to get infected if not tended to. Jun had rolled her eyes, but acquiesced her request without complaint. “You’ve got one more test left, though. Don’t get cocky.”
Rin pushed over more herbs to be added to Jun’s work. “A test of skill.”
“Yeah, and I don’t have any hints about that one. Who in the Hells knows what a bitch like Inuki considers skill.”
Rin thought about how artfully she poisoned Sesshoumaru without her lord figuring it out until it was too late for him to fight it. Clearly, that was the only skill she needed. With the right skill with herbs, you could control a lot of things. Her mama had taught her that before she died. Maybe if Rin hadn’t thought she was joking, she would have taken those lessons to heart better and been less of a nuisance to the village.
But if she had, then she might never have met Lord Sesshoumaru. Misery had led her to his side and one day she would not need misery to bind them together. They were going to be happy.
Even if Master Jaken is right and he sends me away.
The door to the kitchen was thrown open so unexpectedly that Rin and Jun both startled. Jun’s cheeks puffed up and smoke began billowing from her ears like she was fully prepared to light whoever barged into her space without permission on fire, while Rin took a step behind her to avoid being in the incendiary zone of her fire breath.
The general was standing in the doorway- or as much as he could given his size- head bowed and claws pressed together. “Lady Inuki has set me to fetch you for your final challenge.”
Jun swallowed down the fire blossoming in her throat and exhaled steam that filled the entire kitchen. She resumed her work without even bothering to clear it away. “It’s not sunrise yet.”
Rin flailed a hand to dissipate the steam a bit in order to see the look in the general’s eyes- contrite, miserable, clearly unhappy with his orders. She stepped away from her work and approached him, shifting the steam around enough that Jun picked up what she was doing and leapt to her feet to try and stop her.
“Is something wrong?” Rin asked. “You seem sad, General.”
The general hesitated and backed out of the doorway. Jun froze directly behind Rin, all coiled tension. “The little human girl is very kind. I do not believe Lady Inuki cares much for her kindness.”
“Well, fortunately, Rin does not care what Lady Inuki thinks of her.” Rin folded her hands in front of her. Behind her, she heard Jun make an aggrieved noise.
“Rin,” the general repeated, his large tail wagging. It began to slow all at once and then drop entirely as the weight of his true objective seemed to fall down onto his massive shoulders. “I must bring Rin to the central chamber for her final test.”
Rin lifted a hand to Jun’s arm before she could protest. “It’s okay, Jun. Just keep making the medicine for the boar demon for me.” She tilted her head. “No matter what happens, you’ll bring it to him, right?”
Jun blinked her beady eyes and then glowered. “Stay alive, kid. You can do it yourself, then.”
She turned and stalked off without another word, allowing Rin to follow the general out into the hall. His delight at being given her name seemed to have now just added an extra weight to his shoulders, like now he knew too much about the animal he believed he was leading to the slaughter.
“You don’t have to be sad,” she said, cheerfully, refusing to give into the melancholy of the moment. If Inuki was trying to disorient her by having her final challenge so soon after her second, she would give her no satisfaction. She was happy to have it done, even if she didn’t know what to expect. “I’ve beaten every challenge so far.”
“Lady Inuki is very angry, young hu- Rin.” The general’s gray-and-white tail tucked itself between his legs while his pointed ears dropped flat against his skull. “This challenge will be very difficult for a merciful human.”
Rin only rolled her shoulders and straightened up to her full, if not very impressive, height. “I’m not afraid.”
The general fell into silence afterwards, the only sounds in the hall now the thudding steps of his heavy feet on the floor. He threw open the screen that led into the main chamber and allowed Rin to enter first. Like a common guard, he closed the door and stood in front of it, head bowed in misery.
Inuki was alone on her dais, observing a young-looking humanoid female dog demon with the same solid blue eyes with tiny black pinprick pupils sitting on one side of a table, set up for tea. She was going through the motions of an elaborate tea ceremony with shaking hands and sweat and tears drawing clear imperfections through her elegantly applied make-up.
“Sit,” Inuki ordered, but Rin was already on her way to the table before the words even left her painted lips.
“Here. Let me.” She tried to take the teapot from the girl’s hands, despite knowing how inappropriate that would be and not caring a bit. If the girl spilled some because her hands were shaking, she would surely be in trouble and Rin would rather tempt the trouble towards herself. She was already as low as she could be in Inuki’s eyes.
The girl tugged the teapot closer to herself and shook her head. She steeled herself, swallowed down some measure of her fear and went back to the task of filling two cups before laying the pot aside and dropping her hands into her lap and averting her gaze from both Inuki and Rin.
Rin looked to Inuki, who was smirking coyly. “This is the tea I have been brewing Lord Sesshoumaru. If it is truly poisoned as you claim, then perhaps you can tell me the exact ingredients I used to brew it. Chiyami will drink from that cup and you will be able to observe the symptoms in real time.”
That will kill her. Rin bit her lip. Lord Sesshoumaru likely only survived his poisoning because he was stronger than the average demon- even repeatedly poisoning him couldn’t kill him.
Inuki went on, “Or… If you truly believe I have poisoned him and you wish to remain merciful, then you can take a sip yourself. There are witnesses here who will attest what they saw and Lord Sesshoumaru will be allowed to go free, since I doubt the Lady Mother would approve of my alleged tactics.” She pressed the sleeve of her kimono against her mouth, playing coy.
The Lady Mother would investigate, given that she sent Jaken and Jun here to keep an eye on her. Her death would likely mean freedom for Sesshoumaru and Jaken. They could handle the rest- Lady Inuki would die choking on her last petty victory.
It seemed an obvious choice- her death was inevitable. She was never meant to live to see Lord Sesshoumaru’s Empire. Her time with him was finite.
I won’t die, said a voice in her head, a child’s voice calling back from long ago. She had defied the Underworld twice. She would not rise to meet it a third time. It would have to claim her soul through a bigger fight than this.
But she would not poison this poor girl to win.
Rin leaned over the table.”Chiyami? That’s your name?”
The girl nodded, lower lip quivering.
“I’m not going to poison you.”
“Of course,” Inuki drawled, as if the obvious mercy was predictable and therefore boring to her, “if it turns out not to be poison at all, you will be killed for your wrongful accusations of a daiyoukai.”
Rin stared down at the cup. There was a cruel chance that Inuki hadn’t brewed this tea with the poison at all and that no matter what she did was a trap ready to be sprung. There was nothing she could choose at this dark tea ceremony that would net her true victory and allow her to leave with Lord Sesshoumaru.
But Lady Inuki had left her a loophole and she snatched for it with all her might. “All I have to do is identify the plants you used? That is the test of skill?”
“And you think you can do that by examining a teacup without tasting any, do you?” Inuki snorted.
Ever since she first met Inuki, her eyes had stayed on that kimono she always wore with its detailed flower patterns. Perhaps she had become her mother’s child after all, learning at the elbows of great healers like her. Healers have to know what plants hurt as well as what plants heal.
And, growing up and learning in the places she did meant she was always concerned with what plants were harmful to dogs and dog demons in particular. “I can,” she said, nodding.
She sucked in a breath and let her eyes trail along the patterns of flowers on Inuki’s kimono, making it very clear that she was calling her out for believing she was clever without considering the intelligence of her audience. “Andromeda lily, oleander, azalea, foxglove, wisteria, yew, and water hemlock.”
The flowers were blended together so well in the kimono’s pattern that it likely would have been a pain for anyone else to disentangle them from the folds, especially with Inuki sitting, but Rin had been watching and waiting and by the look on her face, Inuki clearly hadn’t watched enough.
Her tiny pupils shrank to even smaller dots as she failed to school her expression enough to deny Rin her victory with a lie. Chiyami and the general- two people she would have thrown away for a petty win- were watching and they saw that Rin was right.
And so she went in for the kill, as sweet as spring water, “Did I guess right?”
Rin was a mere human with no spiritual power whatsoever. Demonic energy only registered to her when it was oppressive like Naraku’s miasma and only truly powerful demons could conjure such a powerful aura. Inuki might be demon nobility and the worst sort of demon a human would want to run into, but she had seen far stronger than her young years would give credit to, and that, alone, kept her from being afraid when the female daiyoukai’s gray hair began to whip into a frenzy, her eyes glowing blue-white the way Sesshoumaru’s always glowed red. Her pale face began to elongate into a muzzle, her pupils gone completely, drowned in a sea of ice blue. Chiyami shrieked and upended the table, spilling tea across the floor and the shock of the sudden and abrupt action forced Rin to pay attention to the situation. Lesser than most demons who have filled her nightmares and dearest dreams, perhaps, but Inuki was still an enraged demon in mid-transformation and this chamber was about to be her killing floor.
The general let Chiyami through the door and for a heartbreaking moment, Rin feared he would hold her pinned and force her to face whatever beast Inuki was about to turn into, but he caught her by the middle and swung her up onto his back.
“Hold on to my armor, Rin,” he growled and then took off running on all fours with her digging her fingers into his armor to keep from being bucked off. She screamed in spite of herself, because it was the only thing she knew to do when she was in danger that she couldn’t get out of.
If you can’t call my name, then whistle. She couldn’t whistle either. She could only yell, wordlessly, and hope Sesshoumaru would forgive her if he couldn’t come to rescue her.
The sound of crunching wood dared her to turn her head and regret flooded her the instant she did. Inuki was not as large as Sesshoumaru in her true form, but she was far too large for the halls. She had the same wolfish look as the general, gray from the top of her head and down to her tail and white below. Her eyes were blown wide and manic and her teeth were bared as she tore the hallway wider with her shoulders and hips to catch up to the general’s strides.
He burst through the main door, tripped over the stairs, and managed to toss Rin into the grass before he rolled over on top of her. The world spun for a distressing, dizzying moment. She could have sworn she heard Jaken.
“Rin? Rin?! Speak to me, you silly girl! What have you done now?”
That had to be Jaken, not a product of a head injury. She blinked blearily as the world stopped spinning and she could see the imp leaning over her. “We were coming to rescue you and you’ve gone and gotten yourself into more trouble!”
She wanted to yell at him, scold him, and hug him, but maybe not in that order, but instead, she only blinked and rubbed at her eyes. “We?”
The front of the palace was obliterated as Inuki finally tore her way out of it, throwing up a howl to the moonlit sky. Dog demons of all sorts came spilling out like insects startled out from underneath their rocks to see what had driven the lady into her true form.
Another howl met hers. Rin had barely time to process the familiarity of it before the palace began to crumble from the middle as a much larger, more muscular dog demon leapt up through the roof and sank its teeth into the back of Inuki’s neck dragging her down with the ear-splitting sound of more wood shattering.
“Lord Sesshoumaru?!” Rin pushed herself to her feet. She had only seen him for a moment before he dragged Inuki down into the dust and palace remains and now she desperately hunted to find proof that it was him.
“It is him, don’t fret.” Jaken sounded as though the only thing he had been doing for the last several minutes was fretting and he didn’t intend to stop now. Rin was hardly reassured. “Even at his weakest he can handle a demon like Inuki when he has the drop on her.”
A familiar whine of pain that did not belong to Inuki rattled out of the mess and Sesshoumaru staggered out, shaking his head where three long claw gashes had torn across his muzzle, dripping hot blood in puddles as large as Rin’s entire body onto the ground. This close to him, she could see how his legs shaked from the effort of standing, and his breathing was irregular.
“What did you do? He could barely move before!” Rin bit her lip. Inuki had clambered out of the destroyed palace and was stalking towards Sesshoumaru, mouth wide open as she snapped for his head and only got a mouthful of the ring of fur around his body when he moved out of the way. She tore into it until she came up with a mouthful and Sesshoumaru lost his balance and landed on his side, claws tearing trenches into the dirt as he struggled to get up.
Jaken choked down a whimper of anxiety. “I, uh… Well. We purged some of the poison from his system, but Lord Sesshoumaru still couldn’t hold Bakusaiga after I found it, so, um… When he heard you scream, he improvised.”
That wasn’t an explanation and yet it explained enough- Sesshoumaru conserved energy better in his true form. No concern for glamours or higher brain function meant that all of his effort went into surviving (and protecting). It didn’t guarantee a victory and whatever was still coursing through him could be enough to secure a victory that Inuki had no reason to win.
Rin had gone as far as she could to save Sesshoumaru. She could go no farther and it hurt that she might still come up short.
She clasped her hands together and prayed that she hadn’t come so far to lose him anyway. I still haven’t told you. You’re not supposed to die before me. I always thought I would have time.
She scrunched her eyes halfway shut so she didn’t have to see too much of Inuki sinking her teeth into Sesshoumaru’s foreleg until he was forced to kick her off with his hind legs and send her into a structure of the palace that hadn’t collapsed yet. She tried to close her ears to his howls of rage and pain. She tried to close her nose to the reek of blood and sickness. Both were much harder to hide from.
All the while, her mind buzzed with affirmations to keep her resolve steady. If it weren’t for Lord Sesshoumaru, I wouldn’t be here. Everything I am is because of him. I am merciful to remind him that he can be, too. I am kind because he was kind to me. I have not let this world ruin me because he showed me that there are still parts of it worth believing in. I do not have to fight to be strong. I have never needed to fight to be strong.
I am Rin. I do not slay demons. I tame them.
Rin’s eyes snapped fully open. She found the general still sprawled on the ground, miserably watching the fight with no idea what to do. Ignoring Jaken’s pleas to stay where she was, Rin risked getting underfoot in the fight to go to him.
“General, please. You must stop her. You were there- you know I won the trials. She isn’t behaving as a proper regent of the West should. You know she poisoned Lord Sesshoumaru!” She would not be naive enough to appeal to his kinder nature first. She had to utilize logic and court decorum.
The general looked as if she had awoken something in him through her words. He stood and bellowed to the dog demons without so much as a complaint about where the information had come from. “Lady Inuki has poisoned Lord Sesshoumaru as the human girl Rin has claimed! She is unfit to rule the West! It is Lord Sesshoumaru’s time to claim his place here.”
Many of the other gray-haired dog demons of Inuki’s clan were reticent, while others surged forwards in an attempt to harry her and keep her away from Sesshoumaru while he recovered from the last wounds she dealt him. She wasted valuable energy batting them away, allowing Sesshoumaru to redouble his efforts to get her by the throat. She wrenched herself free and tackled him to the ground, pinning him.
Rin shrieked, ”No” but there was no one in any place to answer her cry. The general and the dog demons loyal to him were tossed aside like broken toy soldiers. The demons loyal to Inuki were trying to take advantage of the lack of protection to corner Jaken and Rin, while Jaken fended them off with his staff. It was all coming to a close, a tragic ending, despite everything.
It can’t. It can’t. It can’t.
The ground shook.
Rin caught Jaken before he fell and managed to keep her own balance through sheer force of will. A roar that petered off into a violent squeal pierced the air as the great boar demon barreled out of the trees and slammed into Inuki, knocking her back into the splinters of the palace. Sesshoumaru snarled at the boar demon, but did not engage it- rather, he used the distraction to get on his feet and run at Inuki before she could recover.
Tears stung Rin’s eyes as the boar demon kept anyone else from getting near the fight, swinging his tusks around and keeping an eye on things as the two dog demons fought on the remains of the once great home of the Great Dog Demon, himself. Perhaps she ought to feel something about that, the tragedy of her lord losing yet another birthright.
All she felt truly was pride- in Sesshoumaru, in the boar demon, in the general, in Jaken… In herself. All of them had stood up for what was right and had fought for her side. All she needed now was-
A sudden burst of hot flame, hotter than what came from Jaken’s staff cut a line between Rin and Jaken and some of the still desperately encroaching dog demons. Rin snapped her attention to the sky to see Jun perched on her nimbus, her fire breath fading. “Hey, kid.”
Now she cried freely. They were all here to get her through this. “Jun!”
Jun leapt down off her nimbus and joined her and Jaken (ignoring the imp’s clear disapproval), and this time she didn’t freeze when Rin gave her a hug- she returned it. “You are one crazy kid, Rin. I hope he knows what you’re worth.”
Rin glanced behind her to see where Sesshoumaru had finally gotten his teeth around Inuki’s throat. The final snap of her neck sent a jolt through her spine as if her own neck had been snapped, but as she watched the massive dog demon collapse dead onto the remains of the palace she had called her own for far too long, a palpable sense of relief came to replace it.
And then Sesshoumaru’s transformation dropped and he was a comparatively smaller shape surrounded by blood-splattered wood. Rin wasted no time in tearing her way across the grass towards him, the general and the boar demon preventing anyone but Jaken and Jun from following her.
“Lord Sesshoumaru!” Her arms were out and ready to leap into his, but she skidded to a stop when he weakly lifted a hand to stop her. Jaken hit her right behind her knees and Jun had to catch them both by their collars to keep them from faceplanting into the debris.
Sesshoumaru had pulled Bakusaiga out of his belt and was forcing himself up onto unsteady feet. His hands shook around the hilt and he required both to even come close to holding it steady. Precision wasn’t necessary for whatever he was about to do, but appearances clearly were. Rin had seen this performance enough times to know all of this by now.
He stabbed Bakusaiga into the meat of Inuki’s shoulder and the rot took hold instantly, spreading through her corpse and eating through it and to the wood underneath her and even through the grass beneath it until the entire place where his father’s castle had been was a barren, rotting space, like a point proven about the corruption and poison that Inuki had let fester in this place.
Sesshoumaru’s voice was slow and deliberate when he spoke. “Whatever you wish to make of this land means nothing to me. From here on out, I forsake my claim to it.” He removed his sword from Inuki’s rotted, blackened corpse and limped away as a path cleared for him. “If she wanted these lands so badly, she can keep them as her grave.”
He walked right past Rin and Jaken, but only made it five feet beyond them before he murmured, “Rin. Jaken. Let’s go.”
Rin’s heart nearly burst in her chest. She didn’t realize how long it had been since she had heard those words. She was like a little girl again, running after him, while the rest of the remaining dog demons (and one proud-looking boar demon who gave her a nod as she turned to go) tried to figure out if there were any pieces left to pick up.
—
They had walked for miles without a word said between them and now the sun was shyly peeking up from the horizon as if it was checking to see if it was safe to come out. Jun had left them a ways back to pass along a message to the Lady Mother. She had given Rin one last proud look before taking to the skies on her nimbus.
Rin didn’t know if she was ever going to see her again and she regretted their miserably casual parting. She had left the remains of the western palace without so much as a thank you to the boar demon and the general and, at the time, it hadn’t felt so final, but now the walls were closing in on her, reminding her that for everything she had done, there was still a chance that Sesshoumaru wouldn’t approve of any of it and would send her away.
He hadn’t said anything yet, and not knowing made it worse.
He finally stopped by the time the sun was high enough to spread light through the trees and simply collapsed at the base of the largest. For a moment, Rin could only see the moment she first met him.
Will it end precisely how it began?
She hesitated near the edge of the treeline, caught between staying by his side and tending to her hunger. She hadn’t slept since the previous night, but even exhaustion couldn’t claim her now. She needed to stay awake and watch Sesshoumaru to make sure he didn’t simply walk away and leave her here, but she also needed to eat.
“Jaken,” Sesshoumaru croaked, as if sensing her desperation. “Fetch food and water.”
Jaken sputtered. “M-Milord? That’s what Rin does! She’s the only one who even needs it!”
Sesshoumaru repeated the imp’s name with just enough force to get the point across. He squealed and took off into the woods at a run. He would be complaining the second he was out of earshot and Rin might have laughed if her heart wasn’t thudding in her chest so hard it filled her ears and blocked out everything else.
This is it.
She took a step closer to him and then another. By the third step, Sesshoumaru finally acknowledged her. “Rin. You should not have come after me.”
Rin froze like a bolt of lightning had struck her spine. “I wasn’t going to leave you, Lord Sesshoumaru.”
Sesshoumaru’s eyes were closed and his expression was pensive. She didn’t have Jaken’s connection to him- she couldn’t tell what was going on in his mind while his face remained impassive. Most days she did well guessing. Today it was too close, too real. She couldn’t begin to be impartial- she could only hope.
He continued, sternly. “Any fight that I cannot win myself cannot be won by a human girl.”
“There are no fights that my lord cannot win if they’re fought fairly.” She knelt down beside him, her knee nearly grazing his armor. She had gotten this close to him once to dump water over his head because she needed to make sure he was conscious and he wouldn’t drink. She was only a lonely little girl and he was a dying creature that no one would take care of. They had needed one another back then.
They still did. “I won’t apologize for what I did.”
“I should send you back to the village.” He was exhausted, not angry. To her hopeful ears some of his tone even sounded reluctant. “You’ve forgotten more than you’ve learned about how to be human.”
“That’s not true at all. I’m more human than I’ve ever been.” She hesitated and then dared to be bold enough to move a lock of his hair out of his face. He twitched when her fingers gently grazed his stripes, but did not move to stop her. “I bested Lady Inuki’s trials as a human would.”
He didn’t say a word, but she didn’t need Jaken’s connection to him to know where his mind had gone. He was thinking of the next time and the next time and all the times that came before. How often would she get hurt by being close to him?
It wasn’t fair. She chose to come after him. He was the one who needed to be saved and she chose to come for him, just as he had chosen to come for her. He could not make this about himself, and he could not lay claim to being the only rescuer in this relationship. She rescued him first.
“Lord Sesshoumaru,” she said, her voice tight. “I understand that the things that can harm you are dangerous, but I don’t care. I’ll fight them.” She swallowed down a sob and threw his words back at him with a watery-eyed smile on her face, “If you ever need me, all you have to do is call me. Our hearts are entwined.”
He opened one eye to look at her- really look at her. “Rin…”
She shook her head and grabbed for the collar of his shirt. “Don’t scold me or tell me how badly this hurts your pride. I know you’re a great demon and a little human girl protecting you is the last thing you need or want, but I don’t care. You’re strong enough that anyone who finds you weak for that wouldn’t last a breath longer than it takes to insult you!”
Sesshoumaru repeated her name again and her knuckles went as white as his shirt as she continued to push through all the words she needed to say before she couldn’t say them, either by separation or by her throat simply closing up. “All I ever wanted was to be by your side. Haven’t I earned my place, Lord Sesshoumaru? I-I thought you might die… And it’s not supposed to be you that dies before me. That isn’t right.” The tears began to fall, unchecked, but she just kept going, ignoring them. “All I can think now is maybe you won’t live forever and if you don’t… How am I supposed to go on if I never told you what you meant to me?”
She let her hands go slack. “I love you. I love you so much more than I think you will ever understand. And… and it’s okay if you don’t love me back, but I won’t go back to the village. I’m staying right here with you and Master Jaken. Forever.”
Her words finally stopped tumbling out of her, allowing the reality of the moment to crash down. Sesshoumaru had scarcely breathed since she had started talking, and she couldn’t bring herself to raise her head to look him in the eye. The urge to run into the forest and hide until this was forgotten was almost unbearable, but by the time she tried to force herself to stand, Sesshoumaru’s clammy hand touched her face, his thumb wiping away some of the tears that had spilled across her cheek.
“Is that really what you want, Rin?”
She looked up, finally, and laughed at the incredulity of his expression. For someone with so much emotional restraint, he could look very much like a confused puppy when he was puzzled by something. She was glad to know that she was consistently the one thing that could make him react that way.
“I have never stopped wanting it, Lord Sesshoumaru.” She leaned into his touch. “I love you.” The words were easier to say a second time.
Sesshoumaru did not say them back, but she could not have asked him to, nor did she ever expect him to. He wasn’t the sort- he showed his emotions in deeds, not words. She knew he returned her feelings when he gingerly pulled her closer and pressed his lips to hers.
It was no fairytale kiss. Sesshoumaru’s skin was ice cold, yet feverish, and his lips tasted of bile, but Rin would cherish it forever. There would be others to come, of that she was sure of. They might come after even more rescues, swept up in the moment of protecting one another. They might come in quieter moments when the world allowed them to rest.
This one came after a hard-fought series of trials- a narrative turned upside down that still came out in her favor- and cleverly bookended a meeting between a little human girl whose heart was as strong as any demon’s and an injured demon who needed someone, for once, to look after him, whether he believed he needed it or not.
Their hearts were entwined. Neither would let the other go without a fight.
And that promise was finally sealed, eternally.