Chapter Text
Day after day, Stede visited Ed, usually finding him in the bathtub, sometimes in the corner of the cabin or in the auxiliary closet, mostly bare now. All his fine clothes, gone, lost to the sea. But Stede found he didn’t care at all. He didn’t need any of that stuff. He just needed Ed.
And he was slowly beginning to see glimmers of him again. A spark of recognition in his dark eyes. A fleeting glance his way when Ed thought he wasn’t looking. Even a word or two in his direction. Mostly though, Ed was lost within himself. He would mumble and rant about the monster inside. And when that happened Stede would try to talk him down, to coax him back.
He at least felt like Ed wasn’t going to murder him without a moment’s notice by now. The pirate seemed tiredly resigned to Stede’s presence. When Stede would find him in the morning he would offer a jaunty greeting and Ed would even answer back sometimes. Usually with a grunt or a scoff or an “Ed’s not here.” But it was something.
One day after about two weeks of little more than Stede sitting with Ed, talking to him, trying to get him comfortable with his presence, he gathered the courage to try something new.
He climbed into the bathtub with him. He sat, back pressed against the copper curve, facing Ed. Both men had their knees drawn up, feet close but not touching.
“There now Ed. That’s better isn’t it?” Stede ventured. Ed stared back at him, eyes alert and wary.
“Are you….real? Are you here?” Ed finally asked in a small voice. “…Stede?”
“Yes Edward,” Stede said, blinking back unbidden tears. “I’m here. It’s really me. Are you with me?”
“You’re here? You came back? For real?”
“Yes Ed.” Stede slid his foot forward incrementally, the toe of his shoe nudging Ed’s.
“…I see you so often. But then you always disappear. Like smoke…”
A tear slipped down Ed’s cheek. Stede reached out his hand, slowly so as not to spook him, and gently tucked a strand of hair behind Ed’s ear.
“I won’t disappear again Edward.”
Ed looked away, emotions warring on his face. Stede could recognize by now, Blackbeard trying to come out, to assert dominance over the situation again.
“Stay with me Ed,” Stede pleaded softly.
After several silent minutes Ed looked back at him disbelievingly, as if he was staring at a ghost. As if he had just noticed him for the first time.
“Stede?” Ed asked, barely above a whisper, desperate crackling hope in his voice.
“Yes, Edward, yes, it’s me.” Stede leaned forward reaching for Ed’s hands. Ed pulled them back sharply, burying them beneath his blanket.
“Don’t you get it?” he hissed angrily, his face shifting. “You were always gonna realize what I am. I’m the Kraken. I’ll drag you down with me. I’ll drag you down to the depths.” Ed screwed his face up, trying not to cry.
“Come on now, stay with me Ed. I don’t want to talk to him. Stay with me.”
Stede reached out and placed his hands hesitantly on the other man’s shoulders. Ed shook him off violently.
“It’s okay Ed,” Stede whispered.
He reached out again, rubbing his hands up and down Ed’s arms reassuringly. He slowed his breathing, willing Ed to breathe with him. Ed gradually fell into rhythm with him and they breathed together, in, out, in, out. Stede leaned forward ever so slowly until their foreheads were touching. They sat like that, eyes closed, breathing together, in, out.
“That’s it Ed,” Stede said soothingly. “That’s it.”
After a while, Ed slowly pulled away and tilted his head back, letting it thump against the copper lip. Stede scooted back as well until they were again on opposing sides of the tub.
“You’re really here?” Ed said to the ceiling.
“I’m really here Ed.”
“Okay,” Ed said, closing his eyes wearily.
****
“So…they’re okay? All of them?”
“Yes Ed.”
“Even…Lucius?”
“Yes, Ed. Even Lucius. They’re all fine. A little peeved, I won’t lie. But all safe and healthy. Talking through their trauma as a…what?”
“…As a crew.”
“That’s right Ed,” said Stede proudly.
Ed’s forehead creased up in confusion and he pressed his face against his knees.
“Hey now, hey, none of that,” Stede said gently, grabbing Ed’s hand. He raised it to his mouth and pressed his lips to Ed’s knuckles. “Stay here Ed. Stay here with me.”
Ed looked up guiltily through a curtain of hair. Stede reached out and pushed back the hanging locks, smoothing them down. He rubbed his hand gently over the beard that was fast growing back in.
He searched Ed’s face for that old familiar look. Oh how he missed the way Ed used to look at him. Like he hung the moon. He didn’t look at him that way anymore. Maybe he never would again. Maybe the trust was too broken. Maybe the man was too broken. But even if Stede had to grapple with the Kraken for the rest of his life, he would be content. He would be happy with any piece of Ed he could get, as long as Ed kept looking at him. As long as they kept looking at each other, it would all be okay. He was certain of that. He smiled at Ed and Ed managed a small, unsure smile back.
****
When Stede walked into the cabin the next morning he saw Ed sitting on the bed staring at the lighthouse painting, the window flung open beside him. The pirate lifted his head as Stede approached and Stede saw a hint, just a hint, of the old sparkle in his eyes. His heart swelled with hope and gratitude.
They were going to be okay. He was sure of it. This was a long journey but they had the rest of their lives and the world was wide. They were going to be okay.
Stede strode over and sat down next to him. After a moment of quiet Ed reached out and gingerly took Stede’s hand. He looked up, their eyes meeting. Stede’s were warm; Ed’s still a bit unsure. Stede could see the Kraken lurking just behind them, waiting to rear up and protect Ed if need be. But Stede was determined that it would never need to come back, not as long as he was around. And he intended to be around for as long as Ed would have him. Because he loved this man and all that came with him, the good and the bad, the hurt and the hope. Even the Kraken.