Chapter Text
“Oh my god,” Bellamy announced as soon as he woke up. “We need to go back to not spending the night together.”
Clarke turned over in bed to look at him and she felt the sting of tears in her eyes. After everything, after the night before, she really thought they’d be able to try a normal relationship—the kind of relationship with feelings and sleepovers.
“What?” She croaked out. She’d been lying next to him with her back against his chest for almost twenty minutes, just waiting for him to wake up, but now she wished she’d left the night before like she used to. She wished she’d never had sex with Bellamy Blake at all.
His face had been buried in his pillow when he spoke, but he looked up at the sound of her voice and quickly shook his head. “No, Clarke,” he said quickly before draping his body over hers and putting a palm to her cheek. “I was just kidding. Your feet are like ice. That’s all I meant. I don’t actually want you to go anywhere. I don’t want to go backwards.”
She let out a breath, silently berating herself for overreacting. But, then again, things with Bellamy were fragile. They always had been. It wasn’t going to be an easy transition from friends with benefits to something real, just like it wasn’t an easy transition from enemies to friends. Her entire relationship with Bellamy had been a wild ride—one she wasn’t willing to hop off of any time soon.
“Me either,” she told him and he smiled just slightly before pressing his lips to hers. It was a casual kiss, something they weren’t really used to. It wasn’t leading to sex or an outcome of too much alcohol. It was just because they could, just because they wanted to. “I’ll wear socks to bed next time.”
“Sexy,” he murmured and she laughed before rolling them over so she was on top of him. “You know,” he said between kisses as his hands expanded over her bare back. “We should probably get up before Octavia wakes up and goes looking for you.”
“Only to find me naked in bed with her big brother who I’m supposed to hate?” Clarke clarified, pulling her lips from his so she could look down at him with a coy smile.
“Exactly,” he confirmed. “That’s not exactly how I want her to find out about this.”
Clarke nodded and pressed her forehead to his. “I don’t know how we’re supposed to tell my best friend that I’ve been sleeping with her brother for months and that I suddenly have very real feelings for him,” she admitted. Bellamy closed his eyes and kissed her quickly before tangling his hand in her hair.
“Well, we do it together,” he told her and she smiled. “Because I have to tell my little sister that I’ve been sleeping with her best friend and not so suddenly have very real feeling for her.”
“Not so suddenly, huh?” She sat up so her legs were on either side of his body and she was looking down at his bare chest and his messy bedhead.
Bellamy looked her over and she felt her face heat up under his intense gaze before he sat up and laced his fingers at the small of her back. “We talked about this last night,” he reminded her. “I’ve been too far gone for far too long.”
“Me too,” she promised and he smiled again before kissing her. “But we really should get up. She never sleeps all that late on the couch.”
Bellamy nodded and she kissed him one last time. Because she could and because she wanted to.
She started getting dressed, pulling on her bra and panties, before reaching for her dress, but Bellamy stopped her with an arm around her waist. He pulled her backwards against his chest and kissed the exposed skin on her shoulder. “Bellamy,” she breathed a warning, but when she felt his tongue on her skin, she melted against him. “Her finding us like this is barely an improvement.”
She felt the rumble of his laugh against her body before he turned her in his arms. “This is going to be fun,” he said and she tried hard—really, she did—not to laugh, but it bubbled up before she could really stop it.
“A fun disaster, maybe,” she told him and he just shook his head, that stupid smirk on his face. “A lot has changed since yesterday.”
“Not really,” he promised, but she didn’t believe him. “All that’s changed is we get to do everything we’ve wanted to do the past few months.”
“We’re not good at relationships, Bellamy,” Clarke reminded him. “And I don’t want to screw this up. It’s not just getting to touch each other and kiss each other whenever we want to. We have to actually work at this. I don’t want to end up hating you like I do Finn and Lexa. I don’t want you to hate me or resent me for bullying you into something we might not be ready for.”
“I’m ready,” Bellamy insisted. “I’ve never been good with this stuff, but I’ve never cared. I care now. About you. I always have.” He shrugged easily, but Clarke knew admitting that was big for him. He’d told her the night before that he cared about her, but it felt much more real when he admitted he had for a while—or forever. Clarke stood tall and kissed him once, twice before settling her hands on his chest.
“I care about you, too, Bellamy. That’s why I want to do this the right way.”
He nodded like he understood, but then his face fell a little. “We’re still going to fight,” he reminded her.
“But, then, we get to make up. I’m not afraid of fighting with you anymore. We’re here now. Fighting brought us this far. As long as we’re doing it together, right? As long as we’re working through it together?”
“Right,” he smiled. “Come on, I’ll make breakfast.”
Clarke pulled her dress on and Bellamy helped her situate it on her body before kissing her one last time. He left his room as he pulled on his t-shirt and Clarke followed closely behind him. She stopped short when she hit his back and helped pull his shirt down to cover his torso. She didn’t see what made him stop until she tried getting around him.
“Oh.”
“Oh?” Octavia asked, looking between them. Her arms were crossed over her chest and the braids she’d put in her hair the night before were a mess. “Oh?”
“Octavia,” Bellamy warned and she focused her attention on him.
“Clarke, Bellamy? You had to sleep with Clarke? Couldn’t you sleep with literally anybody else?”
“Octav-“
“No,” Octavia said, cutting Clarke off. “My brother? Come on, you have to know he has feelings for you. It’s not fair to just sleep with him and take advantage of that.”
“Hey,” Bellamy said, stepping between his sister and Clarke so he could make sure Octavia was looking only at him. “No one is taking advantage of anyone, O. Let’s just get that straight.”
“I wouldn’t do that to him,” Clarke promised, standing on her toes so she could look over Bellamy’s shoulder. “Not knowingly. But, in this instance, I didn’t do it at all. He’s not the only one with feelings here.”
“Excuse me?” Octavia asked, looking between them. Clarke ducked around Bellamy’s side so she could really see her best friend and stood against Bellamy’s chest. His hand came to rest on her hip instinctively and Clarke knew Octavia caught the simple movement. “What’s going on exactly?”
“This is happening, Octavia,” Bellamy told her. “This has been happening.”
“Not to this extent,” Clarke corrected quickly. “That just happened last night—the feelings and the admittance of feelings. That’s new. But we have been… sleeping together for a while.”
“When?” Octavia asked and Clarke could see the confusion in her eyes. “How did I not know?”
“Every time we drink together and most of the times we fight,” Clarke admitted and Octavia’s face fell into a deep look of disgust.
“You guys fight all the time,” she said quietly, refusing to look at her brother’s face. “How long?”
“Three months,” Bellamy told her and she nodded, looking at the floor. “We didn’t know it meant anything to the other person until last night. I thought it was just a way for her to de-stress and to pass the time. I didn’t know she wanted what I wanted.”
“And you do?” Octavia asked. “Want what he wants?”
“I was the one that changed the rules last night,” Clarke promised, looking up at Bellamy quickly. “I couldn’t sleep with him again until I knew for sure that he felt the same way I did. I couldn’t hold it in anymore.”
“Oh my god,” Octavia sighed dramatically, turning to the kitchen. Clarke looked at Bellamy again and he shrugged, pushing her to follow his sister. “My best friend and my brother are in fucking love.”
“Whoa,” Bellamy exclaimed, moving around Clarke. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. This is very new, very fragile.”
Clarke stood back, biting her lip. Bellamy was right, of course, but she liked to think the Octavia was also a little bit right. Octavia’s eyes met hers over Bellamy’s shoulder and her face softened a little. “Don’t hurt her, you asshole,” she said to her brother and Bellamy nodded. “Don’t hurt him.”
“I will do everything in my power not to hurt him,” Clarke promised and Octavia sighed before nodding.
“Okay,” she said. She shoved past her brother and smothered Clarke in a hug. “I never want to hear about your sex life ever again.”
“I promise,” Clarke laughed, looking at Bellamy who just rolled his eyes.
“I’m sorry I freaked out on you earlier, but he really does like you and it’s super obvious,” Octavia said and Bellamy sighed behind them.
“Apparently, I’m just blind.”
“Apparently, so am I,” Octavia laughed, pulling back. “I’m going to take a shower. I expect a three course meal waiting for me when I return. You know, for the emotional trauma you two are putting me through.”
“Deal,” Bellamy said and Octavia smiled at them both before heading for the bathroom.
Clarke waited for the door to close before stepping towards Bellamy. He met her in the middle and they looked at each other awkwardly until she had to laugh. “It could have been worse,” she offered and he nodded. “I’m glad that’s over with.”
“I’m glad we left the bedroom when we did,” he smiled and she laughed again. She closed the gap between them and kissed him slowly. “I’m glad you bullied into this,” he smirked and she shoved him playfully. “Sorry I couldn’t just admit it on my own.”
“I don’t care how it happened, Bell,” she promised. “All I care about is this,” she said, pulling him closer. “You and me.”
“It’s going to be really good, Clarke. I promise.”
“I trust you.”
Bellamy smiled. Clarke smiled. Together, they made breakfast and were sitting at the table with their hands knotted together when Octavia joined them again. Even she smiled.