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Never Mind The Bollocks

Chapter 15: Dense

Notes:

At some point I'm sure I'll actually write a proper fic with John and Chas and baby Geraldine but for now, have this, inspired by that one time at work some random parent just. Expected me to hold their baby up while I was trying to help them put a baby carrier on. And my first thought was "blimey she'd heavier than I expected".

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

“Blimey. She’s dense, ain’t she?” John mutters, staring down at the baby in his arms. Chas bristles, staring down at him in turn.

“You wot ?!” He says, and John raises his shoulders in a motion that suggests he’d raise his hands if they weren’t occupied.

“I mean , she’s little but she’s… heavy. Didn’t expect her to have this much weight to her.” John defends, eyes drifting back down to Geraldine, who is staring up at him with a very intense frown. 

“She’s just over 10 pounds, now.” Chas says, his chest puffing out a little, proud.

“I’m gonna guess that’s good, with how chuffed you look about it.” John says with a slight snort. He doesn’t know the first thing about babies, other than you ought not to drop them, and they have a tendency to cry often and loudly. Geraldine, thankfully, hasn’t started doing that yet, but he’s starting to get a little concerned by how hard she’s frowning at him. “Have I offended you, love?”

“That’ll happen, when you call people dense.” Chas puts in. “She’ll warm up to you.”

“Dunno that she will, mate.” John shrugs a little. He bobs Geraldine gently in his arms, the kind of motion he’s seen countless parents doing to their children. It doesn’t quite feel easy, or natural, but it does feel right. Like it’s the kind of thing you’re meant to do to a baby.

Notes:

Immediately after this Geraldine poops and it turns out that's the reason she was frowning so hard at John. Chas pisses himself laughing.

Notes:

As with any work of mine, feedback is always appreciated!