Cleated Rivalry
Fav JudexErling fics and some to read
(Open, Moderated, Anonymous)
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Summary
The pictures make The Sun in October, about a week before the Ballon d'Or gala. Jude's dragging himself out of an ice bath at the Bernabéu when the family group chat starts going off like a firecracker. At first he thinks maybe Mum's sending more of those muscle recovery YouTube videos that have dominated her algorithm lately, so he wraps a towel around his waist, teeth chattering, and trudges back to his locker before he thumbs the thread open.
Mum: Jude, call me when you have a minute https://www.thesun.co.uk/sport/7025910
Jobe: ???
Jobe: oh shit
Jobe: tbh edges looking good tho bro
Mum: Jobe please
Jobe: what, im just sayin
Jobe: stop gatekeeping ur barberWhen Jude clicks into the link, the bottom of his stomach drops out completely.
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England just knocked Norway out of the World Cup, and Jude Bellingham scored the goals that sent Erling Haaland home.
The BBC thinks they’re having a bromance. Renee Rapp thinks they’re having a moment.
Jude thinks he’s having a crisis.
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- Part 2 of Haalingham Collection
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Jude is aware his reaction wasn’t fair of him - they haven’t agreed to be exclusive, and it’s not Erling’s fault that Jude’s essentially decided to be without consulting him. He didn't technically hear anything he didn’t already know - so Erling sleeps with women, so what. Jude’s known that the whole time and it's never bothered him. He knows telling people is a different calculation for him, just because he doesn't have a choice in it.
What does he want Erling to do, pull Martin aside and tell him that he's not gay and not hiding anything but sometimes he fucks Jude Bellingham when they're in the same city?
Bookmarked by Thecargif
30 Aug 2026
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Bookmarker's Notes
Oh this is gonna be a re-read time and time again
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A video is leaked of Jude Bellingham being comforted by Erling Haaland after England's loss to Argentina. Maybe it's not the worst thing in the world.
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Erling is pretty sure he's not gay.
The fact that he's increasingly obsessed with who touches Jude, who talks to him, and who Jude looks at probably doesn't mean anything. The rest of Dortmund seem to have their own opinions.