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Breaking news! Two idiot detectives accidentally uncover a drug ring. by M1keyishungry
Fandoms: The Nice Guys (2016)
25 Aug 2026
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Summary
Drug crime has been on the rise in San Francisco, and a woman by the name of Cody Blaire had suspected her boyfriend of being involved with the wrong crowd.
But she didn't want her dearly beloved to be incriminated for a simple accusation, so she did what she thought was the best solution when she was at a bar and saw a poster on the bulletin for two private investigators.
She dialed the number on the piece of paper and waited for the click, “Hello? This is Healy and March private investigators. How can we help you today?” She assumed on the phone this voice belonged to the more cleaned up of the two men on the paper, though the name wasn't clear.
“Hello? I'd like to book an appointment.”
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After a year of staying sober, March has a relapse. Things quickly spiral out of control.
In the end, it was just another thing to talk about when people asked. Now that—well, that was worth the risk. The way their eyes widened, clear with care and concern. How their voices were always hushed and cautious. Then if he was lucky, a hug. Someone who’d coddle him a little. Someone who’d listen with understanding. Yeah, that made it all worth it. He missed that gentle kind of affection. He missed getting it from his wife.
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Dean, a mid-forties modern-day cowboy, has ruined his chances at doing rodeo by pity partying too hard after his unnamed ex-wife left him. Riding the mechanical bull at the local bar is the closest he can get to his former glory.
Just before he slides on Larry, he spots a gorgeous stranger with the bluest eyes he's ever seen across the bar. Dean decides he's going home with that man at the end of the night, come hell or high water.
Castiel turns out to be hotter (and odder) in person, and Dean loves every second of it.
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Castiel, a forty-something autistic man, is content with his quiet life. He has a good job, friends, family, and hobbies which are more than enough for him, despite Gabriel's insistence that he is "running out of time" in the love department.
Castiel doesn't really understand all the fuss about romantic partners and sexual attraction... until he sees Dean in the spotlight with Larry The Bull.
Chapter two delves into Castiel's over-clocked mind for a retelling of the events of chapter one with more context and analysis.