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  1. 78

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    “For the millionth time, Tedros, they could have pinned this bath towel to my head for a veil, and tied your boot lace around my finger for a ring, sitting in this bathtub, and I would have been happy,” she says, holding up the long forgotten bath towel, kicking at the boots she untied for him at his feet, because she means it, “I’d love it because I love you.”

    “Then let's," he nods, “I love you too. Let’s get re-married, right here, in the bath tub.”

    (when agatha and tedros return to camelot two days after their wedding, they learn a few things: some details from that day were hazy, royals have a lot of middle names, and camelot doors are too heavy to open on your own)

    Language:
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  2. 13

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    Title from Hey Lover!

    Tedros, Agatha, Reaper and a bubble bath gone wrong

    ~~~

     

    “Reapers not evil.” The useless defence of her cat comes out on instinct knowing that Reaper and Tedros are long decided enemies who tolerate each other on behalf of Agatha but she can’t help but hope that one day tedros will look into reapers’ snake like eyes and feel love for the hairless,scraggly, violent animal.

    “He’s out to get me, Agatha, I just can’t prove it yet and well satan cat knocks the rest of the bottle into the bath and before i know it the bubbles are just growing and growing. At this point I'm fearing for my life. I mean death by bubble will definitely be the most embarrassing of all my deaths.” Tedros' voice is somehow both light and distressed and he looks almost genuinely shaken by his run in with bubbles, reminding her wet dog which just had an unappreciated bath.

    “100% very embarrassing. I would be ashamed to be your widow.”

    Series
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    8
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    119
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    1,527
  3. *

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    Agatha and Sophie realise quickly that ‘going home’, and ‘living in Gavaldon for the rest of your miserable existence’, aren’t quite the same thing.
    With the barrier between Gavaldon and the Endless Woods permanently damaged, they’re offered a chance to return to the School, for what the Deans promise to be a ‘new and improved!’ and ‘much more serene!’ second year. Agatha doesn’t exactly believe them; but there are reasons why they might consider going back. A few...
    Well, anyway.
    Don’t be a stranger.

    Language:
    English
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    Chapters:
    18/18
    Comments:
    1,001
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    1,547
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    329
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    61,246
  4. 61

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    “It’s not that surprising. You look exactly like your father did at your age.” she muttered-- then realised her mistake.
    Tedros bolted up.
    “You knew my father?”
    (Yes.)
    “No.”
    --
    callis, somewhat against her will, has a chat with her daughter's prince. pre-tlea, canon-compliant.

    Series
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    English
    Words:
    1,606
    Chapters:
    1/1
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    1
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    23
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    962
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    61
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    8,728
  5. *

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    "You do have parents, don't you?" Asked Tedros, cramming another piece of fudge into his mouth. "Like... real ones?

    Agatha snatched the rest of it out of his hand.

    "Yes." 

    "You said you were raised by a coven of witches. That's not real parents."

    ---

    sge lacked scenes with tagatha just being friends before all the ~romance~, so I wrote one myself after realising we never got to see the visiting weekend in their year, presumably bc none of the three main character's parents could come. in-canon universe.

    Series
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    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    49
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    1,489
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  6. 34

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    “Curses? Yeah, rehearsals were... fine.”
    Callis’s lip curled. She never missed much, no matter what she pretended.
    “I’m sure that’s what Sophie thought. For someone who supposedly trained as a Princess...”
    She trailed off.
    “Supposedly?” said Agatha tautly. “You don’t believe in the School, after all?”
    “I believe in the School just fine,” said Callis. “I have less faith in how much of her education she has retained.”
    --
    pre-AWWP. agatha has second thoughts, and secrets, and a certain bothersome presence in her subconscious.

    Series
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    English
    Words:
    2,401
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    21
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    503
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    34
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    5,579
  7. 85

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    She snatched up the remains of the bullet and scoffed in derision. “The True Love Heart Hex. Glinda Gooch’s recipe, is it? Typical. Would have worked, but wreaked havoc on your prefrontal cortex and your heart long-term, most likely you’d drop dead at 35--”
    "Glinda Gooch?" snorted Tedros.
    “I’m glad you think it’s funny.” snapped Dovey.
    ---
    the aftermath of sophie's failed attempt to put a love spell on tedros in book 1.
    despite what he might make out, tedros doesn't think it's funny.
    at all.

    Series
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    English
    Words:
    3,771
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    33
    Kudos:
    769
    Bookmarks:
    85
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    7,347
  8. 47

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    As expected, he noticed. 
    In fact, he came into her dream, in his true form; old and wizened and disgusting, roaring at her, grabbing her by the hair. 
    “WHAT DID YOU DO? WARDWELL! WHAT DID YOU DO?”
    He knew what she’d done. He knew he would die, and die soon, if he turned on Agatha. He knew it, and he was furious. 
    And he couldn’t do anything about it. 
    Callis had crowed in his face, cackling in triumph, and didn’t reply, even as he raged. 
    ----
    post sge. callis defends her daughter. they don't talk about what happened at the school.
    (except for when they do)

    Series
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    English
    Words:
    5,287
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    34
    Kudos:
    528
    Bookmarks:
    47
    Hits:
    5,124
  9. 31

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    fifteen years to the day before agatha, sophie, or tedros go to the school for good and evil, callis and lancelot have some secrets to keep.

    Series
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    English
    Words:
    3,241
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    540
    Bookmarks:
    31
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    5,048
  10. 68

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    “That’s… a hypothetical? Right?”
    “It is not.” Sader said.
    “But Tedros isn’t King,” said Reena.
    “Yes, he is.”
    ---
    because, technically, tedros has been king the entire time. not that anyone really got told that.
    (set mid-book 1)

    Series
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    English
    Words:
    4,400
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    31
    Kudos:
    808
    Bookmarks:
    68
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    6,818
  11. 38

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    The Royal Palace of Jaunt Jolie was like being inside a giant fondant fancy, if the giant fondant fancy was in the oven, and everyone was in the oven, and the oven was in the desert, in direct sunlight.
    And the fondant fancy sang.
    That was to say, it was a godforsaken nightmare.
    --
    agatha and beatrix go on a diplomatic trip to jaunt jolie. it sucks. that's the long and short of it.
    (something of a sequel to soldier on, achilles, and idle worship. but honestly these are kind of all just one big narrative at this point)

    Series
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    English
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    11,020
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    377
    Bookmarks:
    38
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    5,118
  12. *

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    “I was just-- I saw--” Tedros pointed helplessly the way he had come. He looked as if he’d just weathered a very hard hit with something very solid.
    “You saw Agatha too, huh?” said Nicholas.
    “I… that was…” Tedros looked wildly over his shoulder. “I think so?”
    Chaddick gestured grandly to the chalkboard.
    “Wanna contribute to the theories?”
    --
    set almost directly after 'magic in the mirror' from book 1. the everboys do not know how to cope with agatha. and agatha has to cope with tedros trying to have a deep conversation with her, which is nearly as bad.

    Series
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    English
    Words:
    3,191
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    48
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    1,258
    Bookmarks:
    154
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    10,831
  13. 69

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    Agatha finds it impressively optimistic of everyone to think she’s going to be any better at being a Princess now than she was six months ago.
    --
    set after otk, something of a sequel to my previous oneshot, "soldier on, achilles"

    Series
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    English
    Words:
    10,437
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    36
    Kudos:
    630
    Bookmarks:
    69
    Hits:
    7,412
  14. 10

    Mystery Work

    Part of pumpkinpaperweight archive
    Summary

    This is part of an ongoing challenge and will be revealed soon!

  15. 35

    Words:
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    Works:
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    Bookmarks:
    35
  16. *

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    Agatha does not do 'standard' very well.
    Not that he’d wish her to. But… well, she’s certainly not Snow White. Agatha doesn't talk to rabbits or deer. They don’t like her very much, either; they think she’s tall and stomps and smells funny, according to Beatrix, who actually paid attention in Uma’s lessons. And she doesn’t sing to birds. She'd probably scare them off; her voice is terrible.
    But she excitedly plucks frogs and toads from ponds and points out all the grisly anatomical bits and holds them up, saying 'don't their eyes look like mine?' and when Tedros says not really, pointing out that she's a woman and that's a frog, she ignores him.

    ---

    between her education at good, and the long line of princesses and queens that came before her, it stands to reason that agatha should now be able to use all the tools available to her to cement herself as the ideal queen of camelot.
    tedros thinks that anyone who had expected such a thing really doesn't know agatha very well.

    Language:
    English
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    3,760
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    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    51
    Kudos:
    758
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    137
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    5,806
  17. *

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    your first kiss doesn't count if it's with your enemy/rival/grudging friend/classmate on a random wednesday evening, after you just spent like an hour crying about how much you hate your school, right?
    right?
    agatha's asking for a friend, obviously.
    obviously. haha.
    ---
    collab with tagatha_sge, based on the first three parts of @isabella_rose_mcfluffy's first "trashy school days" comics!

    Language:
    English
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    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    720
    Bookmarks:
    100
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    6,972
  18. 87

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    “How you thrive, darling, when no one can call you out on your ineptitude…”
    Agatha snapped out her sleeves with a flick of her wrists, and grinned horribly.
    “On the contrary, darling, I have never been more competent in my life. Now, tell me what the hell you did with the rest of my breakfast.”
    ---
    The Camelot servants are somewhat baffled by the manner of court they now serve in. Particularly the ones that directly attend to the Queen... and particularly those that don't quite know what they're getting themselves into.
    For her part, Agatha is having quite a good time, these days.

    Series
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    English
    Words:
    7,285
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    60
    Kudos:
    700
    Bookmarks:
    87
    Hits:
    7,932
  19. 73

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    "Girls are saying Beatrix is inconsolable." Kiko told them, scampering into the Purity Common Room with an armful of clean, but still damp, stockings and stays.
    "Some of it is okay," said Agatha, turning her fingerglow on them to try and dry them. "Just need a few washes and an iron, maybe. Can't she just write home to replace it all, anyway–?"
    She stopped, wary at the way the chatter had dropped, and the emphatic, wide eyed, stares the other girls were giving her.
    "...what?"
    ---
    set during sophie's attacks on good in book 1. one such attack is more revealing about beatrix's character than necessarily expected, or desired.

    Series
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    English
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    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    31
    Kudos:
    692
    Bookmarks:
    73
    Hits:
    6,005
  20. 87

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    "I think you should hear my hypothesis."
    "It appears I don't have any choice."
    "I think," Tedros blathered on, determined, "That we don't know each other well enough, so we always fight because we don't know how the other person's brain works."
    Agatha bit back several unkind comments she could feel clamouring for the honour of being said out loud. Instead, she said;
    "Oh."
    "That's it?" said Tedros. "Oh?"
    "Was I meant to tell you you're a genius and Camelot is sooo lucky to have you, and give you a big kiss?"
    "I mean, I'd not be opposed to that."
    --
    or: stuck in gavaldon, tedros and agatha play whatever the woods' equivalent of 21 questions is. they're rubbish at it.

    Series
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    English
    Words:
    4,392
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    799
    Bookmarks:
    87
    Hits:
    7,714

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