24 Things
Series Metadata
Listing Series
Pages Navigation
-
Tags
Summary
Harry reads an article in Metro newspaper about 24 sex truths and starts to impart them. Zayn finds he can relate to them.
Zayn finds himself faced with number two on the list - ‘98% of the times you have sex will be initiated by a man pushing his hard-on into your back while you try to sleep’
Series
- Part 1 of 24 Things
-
Tags
Summary
Harry reads an article in Metro about 24 sex truths and starts to impart them. Zayn suddenly finds that he can relate to them
Series
- Part 2 of 24 Things
-
Tags
Summary
Harry finds an article in Metro newspaper about 24 Horrible Sex truths and starts to impart these nuggets of information.
Zayn discovers number 3 - # 3 People don’t actually eat food off each others’ naked bodies in real life. Not unless they want Nutella mingling with their fallopian tubes.
Series
- Part 3 of 24 Things
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 377
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 19
- Hits:
- 1,282
-
Tags
Summary
Harry has been reading a Metro article about 24 Horrible Sex Truths.
Number four is #4 Nor do people really ever use flavoured condoms, especially not for penetrative sex. Sticky, blueberry-flavoured thighs anyone?
Series
- Part 4 of 24 Things
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 746
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 27
- Hits:
- 1,763
-
Tags
Summary
Part 5 of '24 Things' where Harry has an article from Metro that discusses 24 horrible sex truths
Number 5 - Giving oral sex will make you gag and think you’re about to throw up approximately 67,542 times throughout your entire life.
Harry shows Zayn how to give a blow job without gagging - by practising on a banana!
Series
- Part 5 of 24 Things
-
Tags
Summary
Part 6 of 24 Things based on an article in Metro called '24 Horrible Sex Truths'
Number 6: . Despite growing older and accepting it’s a part of adult life, watching a sex scene on TV with your parents will never get easier
The guys are watching a dvd on the tour bus when Paddy and Paul join them at an uncomfortable point
Series
- Part 6 of 24 Things
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 728
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 41
- Hits:
- 1,545
-
Tags
Summary
part 7 of '24 Things' based off an article in Metro on 24 Horrible Sex Truths
Number 7 - You won’t fall asleep gracefully the minute sex is over. First, you’ll waddle to the toilet to clean up – and then maybe you’ll check Twitter
Harry and Louis prove the above statement.
(total shameless Larry sex really!)
Series
- Part 7 of 24 Things
-
Tags
Summary
Part 8 of a series based on an article in Metro called '24 Horrible Sex Truths'
Number 8 - Fanny farts are a thing. End of.
the morning after the night before and Louis is suffering the embarrassing after effects
(sort of follows on from number 7 but all these can be read as stand-alones too)
Series
- Part 8 of 24 Things
-
Tags
Summary
Part 9 of a series based on an article in Metro called - 24 Horrible Sex Truths
Number 9 - Sex anywhere aside from a bed is pretty uncomfortable and difficult. You’ll get bruises, it’ll hurt but you’ll pretend to love every second of it.
Louis has some interesting marks on his body. Niall and Liam ask where he got them. Liam isn't entirely sure he wanted to know
(Sort of follows on from number 8 but can be read as a stand-alone too)
Series
- Part 9 of 24 Things
-
Tags
Summary
Harry has been reading an article in Metro about 24 Horrible Sex Truths.
Liam has discovered the article and is distressed at number 10 :- '10. The majority of you (70%) won’t EVER be able to orgasm through penetrative sex on its own. True story.'
Series
- Part 9 of 24 Things
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 355
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 22
- Hits:
- 1,011
-
Tags
Summary
Paul discovers the '24 Horrible Sex Truths' article in Metro.
He reads number 11:- '11. The contraceptive pill will probably turn you into a hormonal beast.'
Panic sets in at the prospect of a pregnant Harry or a hormonal Harry - what would be worse?!
(does not have mPreg, just speculation)
Series
- Part 10 of 24 Things
-
Tags
Summary
Part 12 of 24 Things.
Liam has had a conversation with Paul about contraception and is very confused about IUD's. Louis imparts his wisdom but Liam is still a little confused.
(this is a rubbish summary - sorry!)
(please read notes at start - thank you)
Series
- Part 11 of 24 Things
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 569
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 11
- Hits:
- 862
-
Tags
Summary
A medical before tour, a nerve wrecking time. Harry thinks he may have Myxomatosis.
Part 13 of 24 Things
Series
- Part 12 of 24 Things
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 521
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 12
- Hits:
- 971
-
Tags
Summary
Niall starts to get strange symptoms and asks Louis about them.
Louis is not very reassuring.
Based on the Metro article '24 Horrible Sex Truths' were number 14 is:- You’ll also Google ‘pregnancy symptoms’ approximately seven times a month. If you’re not pregnant than WHY have you been eating so much bread?!
NOT mPreg!!!
Series
- Part 13 of 24 Things
-
Tags
Summary
part 15! Kinda follows on from part 14 but can be read on its own
Part 15. You’ll buy enough of Tesco’s cheapest pregnancy tests over the course of your lifetime to stock a village pharmacy.
Harry and Louis consider what being pregnant would be like - not mPreg btw
Series
- Part 14 of 24 Things
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 679
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 14
- Hits:
- 885
-
Tags
Summary
Part 16 of the 24 Things series
Number 16. You will pretty much definitely do a poo during childbirth (soz).
Louis decides that they are watching 'Call the Midwife' on Netflix. Niall has a lot of questions about childbirth.
Series
- Part 15 of 24 Things
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 754
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 13
- Hits:
- 997
-
Tags
Summary
Part 17 of 24 Things based on an article in Metro
Number 17. And it’s also possible to rip from your vagina to your bum hole when the baby comes out.
Niall has been reading parenting magazines since his 'scare' (see part 14!!) and one aspect of childbirth has shocked him. Louis reassures him that perineal massage helps and describes how Harry likes it done...
Series
- Part 16 of 24 Things
-
Tags
Summary
Series based on an article in Metro
18. Cystitis will be a constant battle and will include a lot of wees that only produce a teaspoon of urine. Good.
“Think I may have a bit of wee-wee trouble.”
Harry has a little problem, Louis panics, Paul sorts it
Series
- Part 17 of 24 Things
-
Tags
Summary
Part 19 of the series based on '24 Horrible Sex Truths'
Number 19 - Boys will want to ejaculate in places that aren’t your vagina.
Zayn and Liam celebrate the last night in their current city with a movie night - and a revisit to part 2!
Series
- Part 18 of 24 Things
-
Tags
Summary
Part 20 of 24 Things
Number 20 - And when said semen lands on your skin, you’ll be surprised at how smooth and silky it makes it.
Follows on from part 19
Liam discovers that there are some benefits from Zayn ejaculating on him
Series
- Part 19 of 24 Things