Self-Harming Buck and Eddie's Unwavering Love
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Eddie had first noticed the stacks of neat, barely-there lines during a night where he'd made it his mission to worship Buck with his mouth, his touch—selfishly needing to drag his lips over him, taste his skin. And the way he'd always tremble in need when Eddie started slowly, then teased and praised him for being such a good boy—well, if that was heaven, Eddie had no fears of what came after.
But the scars—hidden high on his thigh, so easy to miss—had halted his worship that night.
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Eddie discovers some scars, which leads to questions and worries, and eventually, they have an emotional conversation about how Buck used to cope with things—and sometimes, still does.
And then months later, a promise he made to Eddie gets tested—challenging him to make the call for help. And, of course, Eddie doesn't let him down.
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bleeding black in the dark (and seeing you in the outlines of the shadows) by snarkymuch
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV)
04 May 2023
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This can be read as a standalone.
“Need you,” he rasped, still holding the phone in a white-knuckled grip, as he wiped his nose and mouth with the side of his thumb and hand, breathing wet and heavy through parted lips while he did.
“Buck, I need to know if you’ve hurt yourself—if you’re okay.”
He dropped his head against the vanity, hitting the hard edge of the counter, his breaths coming too fast and shallow, leaving him feeling helpless and unable to wrangle them back under his control.
—or—
Things are going great for Buck, living with Eddie and Christopher, not having self-harmed in months, but then he relapses for no reason other than his brain is being an asshole, and he's too weak to resist, a failure as always—or so he believes himself to be.
But Eddie is there for him, reminding him that all isn’t lost and guiding him back to a better place, using some of the techniques they’d learned in therapy, along with some others Eddie improvised, to do it.
Because Eddie will fight anyone that dares to put Buck down, even if it's Buck’s brain doing the insulting—especially then.
And dammit, Buck can’t love him more for it.
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