Snake Pit
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Listing Series
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Amigo: A Snake Who Wished to Return to Brazil, and the Boy Who Was Going the Wrong Direction by GorillaOne
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
25 Feb 2026
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Summary
London Zoo Reptile House | Missing Animal Report
Exhibit Number: Display Case 11
Species: Brazilian Red-Tailed Boa Constrictor
Description: Larger than average. Non-venomous. London accent.Escape Record:
March 1987 — Found on lawn outside zoo grounds. Retrieved.
June 1988 — Found in gift shop. Retrieved.
November 1989 — Found at bus stop outside zoo grounds. Refused to move for forty minutes. Retrieved.
February 1990 — Found in waiting area of an NHS branch. Retrieved. Nurse described attitude as "very polite."
June 1991 — Disappeared from Reptile House. Whereabouts unknown.Last Known Location: Entrance to London sewer system
Notes: Please contact this house upon discovery.This house ceased searching in 1993.
Sensible.
— Former Occupant of Display Case 11
Minor updates to Chapters Five and Six — a missing scene and one reordered line. I've reviewed this translation five or six times and am still finding things. Highly recommend not asking me how that feels.
Series
- Part 1 of Snake Pit
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Summary
Severus Snape's current relationship status: it's complicated.
He is simultaneously maintaining three high-intensity relationships: Albus Dumbledore, a contract of indentured servitude saturated with emotional manipulation and the faint smell of lemon drops; Voldemort, an ongoing kidnapping situation characterised by physical violence (Cruciatus Curse) and possessiveness of the unhinged variety; and Harry Potter, a "buy Lily, get James free" inheritance dispute with an absolutely non-refundable returns policy.
Muggles call it polyamory. Snape calls it "why haven't I handed in my resignation yet."
A story about how Hogwarts' most overworked two-timer manages to operate at the absolute limit every single day — entirely without informed consent.(ETA: I have just discovered that the opening paragraph was missing from this fic for an entire day. How I managed to proofread this multiple times and not notice, I genuinely cannot explain. The paragraph has been restored. Snape would have something cutting to say about this. He would be correct.
Apparently it was entirely possible to read this without the opening paragraph. I'm not sure whether to be relieved or concerned.)Series
- Part 2 of Snake Pit