feral's failed attempts at being funny
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Summary
Ilya does not plan to warn Shane because as much as this is about providing a weird, but thoughtful, gesture, he is also doing this to mess with Shane.
No heads up, just a box showing up at his door addressed to Jane [NoLastName] from Lily <3.
Ilya waits, follows his routine and Shane's calendar, and tries not to give anything away. The date of delivery was listed as five days after purchase, but Ilya gets a text three days after that sends him into a fit of giggles.
My Jane: What the hell is this?
or a 5+1 crack fic
Series
- Part 1 of feral's failed attempts at being funny
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Summary
Shane has a problem. Shane has several problems, actually. They can differ day to day, depending heavily on whether or not he's running late to class or an assignment is almost due, but in general, his problems are thus: he is in love with his roommate, that roommate is Ilya Rozanov, and if Ilya ever discovers even half of the things Shane has done because of that crush, Shane will probably have to either change his name and transfer universities or fake his own death.
Series
- Part 4 of Hollanov Smut
- Part 2 of feral's failed attempts at being funny
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Summary
Svetlana begins her campaign on a Tuesday morning, which is how Ilya knows that she's clearly lost her fucking mind. Normal people do not start harassing their friends about their romantic lives before nine on a weekday. Normal people wait until at least lunch.
Sveta💄🔪: I have a surprise for you.
Ilya reads the message while walking across campus, his hockey bag slipping down one shoulder. He adjusts the strap to sit further up and considers ignoring the text, but Svetlana has never allowed Ilya to ignore her a day in his life, so he resigns himself to whatever it is she's been plotting against him.
Ilya: no.
Sveta💄🔪: You don’t even know what it is?
Ilya: answer is still no.
Sveta💄🔪: You're going on a blind date this friday.
Ilya: absolutely not
OR, a hollanov college au crack fic
Series
- Part 3 of feral's failed attempts at being funny