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  1. 51

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    Summary

    When Richie's called back to Derry 27 years later, he brings his daughter Jane, not realizing what a bad idea that is. Now he has to deal with his previously forgotten feelings, his daughter's safety, and killing a fucking clown.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,215
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Comments:
    51
    Kudos:
    317
    Bookmarks:
    51
    Hits:
    4,631
  2. 6

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    Maturin whispered to the clown, their tone carrying a rare hint of compassion. "I give you a chance,” the turtle said, “To find a different path."

    or, Pennywise goes back in time

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,377
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    49
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    730
  3. 36

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    Summary

    Starting his first year at college, Eddie didn’t know what to expect.

    But, he knows falling in love with his straight roommate wasn’t apart of the college experience.

    And he definitely knows walking into their shared dorm room to Richie moaning his name was not a coincidence.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,193
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    270
    Bookmarks:
    36
    Hits:
    6,331
  4. 88

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    Summary

    Richie falls for one of those “grow a bigger penis” pills from a porn pop-up. They work, and Eddie finds him hiding in his apartment, painfully hard and almost crazy horny. He offers to help...you know, as bros.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,064
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    598
    Bookmarks:
    88
    Hits:
    12,538
  5. *

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    Summary

    “So,” Eddie starts. “Myra’s lawyers are probably going to subpoena you.”

    “What? Why?”

    Eddie is quiet for another long moment, then he blurts out. “They think we’re having an affair.”

    Richie forces out a laugh. “Why would they think that?”

    (In which the Losers' Club has to convince a divorce lawyer that Richie and Eddie aren't having an affair, which is a little difficult because they are in love with each other.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,270
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    62
    Kudos:
    794
    Bookmarks:
    135
    Hits:
    4,246
  6. *

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    Summary

    "It’s finally happened. I cannot fit through this goddamn window. I’m out of ideas."

    or

    Eddie enlists the help of two other Losers to help fix his bedroom window, and finally spills the beans about what's going on between him and Richie.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,313
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    84
    Kudos:
    1,704
    Bookmarks:
    202
    Hits:
    20,600
  7. *

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    Summary

    ... And if you start crying, who's to say you'll ever be able to stop?

    Henry Bowers gave Bill Denbrough a 'free ride' during the 1988/89 school year in respect to the death of his little brother Georgie. Patrick Hockstetter isn't so generous.

    Richie Tozier is willing to do a lot to keep his friends Bill, Eddie, and Stan safe from the most unhinged member of the Bowers gang, who has taken an unhealthy interest in them. Eventually, however, the abuse begins to wear Richie down. Will his friends realize what is happening and save Richie before Patrick breaks him beyond repair?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    62,121
    Chapters:
    17/17
    Comments:
    529
    Kudos:
    1,524
    Bookmarks:
    198
    Hits:
    30,083
  8. 10

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    Summary

    He could tell the others. The option hangs over him, and a couple of times he even pulls out his phone, thumbs poised to tap out a cry for help --

    Hey, anyone else still seeing monsters? Anyone else having trouble sleeping? Anyone else being fucking haunted?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,099
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    41
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    718
  9. *

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    Summary

    Richie just looks kind of sad, and tells him to stay awake while he runs off shouting, and Eddie thinks I don’t think I’m going to make it that long, but he doesn’t have the strength to shout. He just watches Richie until he can’t see him anymore, and he quietly wishes maybe he’d said something different after all.

    And then there’s just darkness.

    He wakes up, startled, in the Town House, with his face in his hands and his elbows on his knees.

    “What the fuck,” he says, looking down at his own hands.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,821
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    112
    Kudos:
    2,615
    Bookmarks:
    560
    Hits:
    20,224
  10. *

    Tags
    Summary

    He has dreams about Eddie floating in water.

    [Or: Richie goes back, inevitably.]

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,111
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    68
    Kudos:
    419
    Bookmarks:
    101
    Hits:
    4,970
  11. 43

    Tags
    Summary

    ”Beverly Marsh - the fashion designer?”

    “Yeah! That Bev. And Ben Hanscom, we can try him too. I don’t know the name of his firm, but it would be easy to google. Recently they built that BBC tower…” Eddie freezes, eyes widening as he stares directly at Dr. Jackson.

    ”Holy shit, I sound crazy, don’t I?” He sends her a defeated expression. “You don’t believe me at all. You think I made up some weird parasocial relationship with a bunch of random celebrities.”

    She clears her throat. “You don’t sound crazy, Eddie. I don’t use that word. I often see people who struggle, and these friendships sound like they’re very real to you.”

    ”They sound real to me,” he parrots. “What a nice way to say they’re all in my head.”
    ***
    Eddie comes home from Derry a different man, ready to make a clean break from his old life. He’s always been direct, so he tells Myra about recent events, so that she can understand why things have to change. Myra, however, isn’t about to let him go so easily. Now facing a psychiatric commitment, how can Eddie prove his competency, when everything that has happened to him recently is literally straight out of a horror novel? A story about living your truth.. mostly.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,346
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    79
    Kudos:
    255
    Bookmarks:
    43
    Hits:
    2,434
  12. *

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    Summary

    Richie wakes up frustrated with the outline of a god-turtle fading from his mind, which is pretty par for the course these days.

    (Or, after everything, the turtle brings Stan and Eddie back. Six months later, it's still trying to pass on a message.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,753
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    108
    Kudos:
    2,430
    Bookmarks:
    500
    Hits:
    16,988
  13. 1

    Tags
    Summary

    Richie, still barely awake, feebly pushes himself up onto his elbows to watch while Eddie prepares himself. His mouth hangs open, partly from the shock of what he’s just woken up to and partly from how high he is.

    Oohmygod, baby, you’re so hot, holyshit- please use me, oh my god I love you so m-“

    “I love you too. And I’m going to. Now shut up,” Eddie scolds with a slap across Richie’s cheek, smiling at the sleepy whimper he gets in return. He usually likes Richie’s nonsensical, lovestruck rambling during sex - but right now, he just wants him to stay still and be quiet. Which is normally impossible for Richie’s ADHD riddled brain to do… in any situation other than sex.

    -

    Richie and Eddie are college roommates. They’re madly in love and fuck. That’s the plot.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,735
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    26
  14. *

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    Summary

    Eddie goes to Atlanta for Thanksgiving with one goal: get Richie to marry him.

    You know. As friends.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    49,907
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    443
    Kudos:
    1,246
    Bookmarks:
    389
    Hits:
    17,571
  15. 5

    Tags
    Summary

    Pennywise blows Georgie. And is manipulative.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,550
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    190
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    5,967
  16. *

    Tags
    Summary

    "Before the break, we asked our contestants: who was your first love? Richie, what did you write?"

    Your mom

    "Heh. That's what we get for inviting a comedian on the show," Chet snorts. "Very mature, Mr. Trashmouth. Maybe your partner can illuminate us. You guys were childhood friends, right? So fill us in, Eddie. Who was Richie's first love?"

    Rolling his eyes, Eddie flips over his card.

    My mom

    *
    *
    Richie and Eddie go on a game show for couples. Nobody expects them to be such a dream team. And nobody suffers as much as the host.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,386
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    294
    Kudos:
    11,769
    Bookmarks:
    2,144
    Hits:
    79,327
  17. 26

    Tags
    Summary

    Several years have passed since Mike and Richie escaped the Lab and with the help of the Party managed to close the Gate part 2 (as if the first time around hadn’t been fuckingly stressful and traumatizing enough). They’re graduating high school and getting ready to enjoy their last summer together before starting college. It’s a new exciting chapter in their life, right?

    If only their lives could stick with the plan of normalcy. Stupid mother fucking clowns. Fuck, did he hate them with all his being. And no, Richie does not have the time or wherewithal to slow down and explain why. He just really is going to have to kill it this time around.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    131,095
    Chapters:
    37/?
    Comments:
    172
    Kudos:
    74
    Bookmarks:
    26
    Hits:
    4,124
  18. *

    Tags
    Summary

    The Manchild Grows Up: An interview with comedian Richie Tozier, November 2019.

    “Everyone in this industry either has a pill habit, or they can’t hold a relationship together for more than two months," Tozier explains. "Or they spend 16 hours a day arguing with people on Twitter. Best case scenario is you find a way to be reasonably well-adjusted about your desperate need for strangers to laugh at you.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,267
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    172
    Kudos:
    5,747
    Bookmarks:
    981
    Hits:
    32,213
  19. 73

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    Summary

    UPDATED

    Pennywise inexplicably saves a high school aged female reader from an assault at the hands of Henry Bowers' gang. This is the story of how she establishes a strange and dysfunctional relationship with the monster who so graciously protected her.

    If the potentially underage element bothers you, feel free to imagine an older reader.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    40,149
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    93
    Kudos:
    752
    Bookmarks:
    73
    Hits:
    11,727
  20. *

    Tags
    Summary

    Eddie has a surprising amount of muscle definition going on in the forearm region. Jamie has witnessed, on four separate occasions, someone do a double take at Eddie’s forearm. Karen from HR still bears the nickname ‘Mugbreaker’ after Eddie turned the corner near her office, coming face to face with her just as he rubbed a hand through the hair at the nape of his neck, exposing the wiry flex of muscle between wrist and elbow, and Karen famously dropped a cup of coffee all over the floor. Ergo, either Eddie goes to the gym, or he’s on steroids.

    Eddie is the kind of man who keeps a makeshift itemised medicine cabinet in his third desk drawer, with a padlock on the handle, the key for which he keeps in the inside pocket of his suit jacket, and who administers a library style check-out system of medication whenever anyone asks for a Paracetamol.

    Eddie is probably not on steroids.

    Eddie's coworker finally convinces him to bring his elusive spouse to an office party. It goes about as well as you might expect, which is to say spectacularly.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,931
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    469
    Kudos:
    5,909
    Bookmarks:
    1,523
    Hits:
    43,404

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