Alexhill
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“In my humble opinion there’s only three things that men should be and that is bloody, slutty, and pathetic.” And, on a good day, Draco Malfoy can be all three.
When war heroine Hermione Granger and Azkaban-tattooed war criminal Draco Malfoy are forced to wed as part of Shacklebolt’s controversial Reconciliation Act, they openly fight the match and each other—their public brawls breathlessly reported by the press.
Secretly, a deeply traumatized Draco delights in Hermione’s attention and pines for a real marriage with her—even as her forced proximity to the Black family magic irritates the cursed scar Bellatrix left on her arm, reminding her why she can never truly trust or forgive him. Then Hermione discovers that Draco’s blood will soothe the scar . . . and Draco is willing to trade his blood for her body.
(With post-war blood purity politics, black market potioneers, Pansy Parkinson’s career advice, the Malfoys blackmailing Hermione’s Wizengamot opposition, BDE Neville Longbottom hunting Death Eaters, a slutty Theo Nott serving as Draco’s right-hand man, and Crookshanks loose in Malfoy Manor.)
Series
- Part 1 of THE BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC SERIES
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 195,969
- Chapters:
- 21/21
- Comments:
- 7,390
- Kudos:
- 30,100
- Bookmarks:
- 11,953
- Hits:
- 1,801,199
Bookmarked by Alexhill
31 Jan 2025
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When Auror Potter is anonymously cursed with silence by being forced to hide his own voice inside his mind, there's unfortunately only one person in the country with the qualifications to fix it: Certified and Licensed Healer Legilimens, Draco Malfoy, specialist in Mind Curses and Afflictions. It's obviously a terrible idea, a disaster waiting to happen, but Draco's never been able to back down from a challenge... especially from Potter.
Features fuzzy cartoon slippers, devious house elves, 90s music, and lots—LOTS—of memories. Ron is annoyingly hot, Hermione sees right through you, Harry is a powerful idiot, and Draco is a reclusive masochist that would buy an entire city if it would make a kid happy. (And Pansy is "5'2, I wanna dance with you, and I'm sophisticated fun.")
Series
- Part 1 of The Ordeal of Being Known
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 146,637
- Chapters:
- 14/14
- Comments:
- 2,498
- Kudos:
- 26,778
- Bookmarks:
- 9,735
- Hits:
- 889,905
Bookmarked by Alexhill
25 Jan 2021
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Summary
How did it feel? It felt like he was barely holding it together. She, of all people, should shun him. Or yell at him. Curse him. Spit at him. Take out her wand and blast him off the face of the earth. It was crushing guilt and relief and confusion all at once when he looked at Hermione Granger.
The monotony of Draco’s daily routine had become both a lifeline and a noose. But this new habit of grabbing coffee with Hermione Granger is quickly becoming a reason to get out of bed and is unfortunately forcing him to re-evaluate his inconsequential existence.
Hermione is living her life in fragments, separate pieces scattered about, and she can’t find a way to step back and let the full picture form. Why are morning meetings with Draco Malfoy the only thing that make sense anymore?Series
- Part 1 of Spectrum
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 312,286
- Chapters:
- 51/51
- Collections:
- 155
- Comments:
- 9,760
- Kudos:
- 36,465
- Bookmarks:
- 15,443
- Hits:
- 2,847,459
Bookmarked by Alexhill
10 Jan 2021
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Sequel to "The Right Thing to Do" - Draco's POV. Part 2 of the "Rights and Wrongs" series.
Series
- Part 2 of Rights and Wrongs
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 160,297
- Chapters:
- 24/24
- Comments:
- 2,988
- Kudos:
- 20,340
- Bookmarks:
- 5,252
- Hits:
- 1,313,948
Bookmarked by Alexhill
18 Nov 2020
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An October of Unconventional Courtships by GhostofBambi
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
31 Oct 2020
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Summary
Two phones. Thirty-one days. Eighteen tuxedos. A Jilytober texting fic.
Series
- Part 1 of AOUC Universe
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 50,996
- Chapters:
- 31/31
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 1,556
- Kudos:
- 2,737
- Bookmarks:
- 428
- Hits:
- 70,052
Bookmarked by Alexhill
31 Oct 2020