1 - 20 of 43 Bookmarks by Alexhill
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“In my humble opinion there’s only three things that men should be and that is bloody, slutty, and pathetic.” And, on a good day, Draco Malfoy can be all three.
When war heroine Hermione Granger and Azkaban-tattooed war criminal Draco Malfoy are forced to wed as part of Shacklebolt’s controversial Reconciliation Act, they openly fight the match and each other—their public brawls breathlessly reported by the press.
Secretly, a deeply traumatized Draco delights in Hermione’s attention and pines for a real marriage with her—even as her forced proximity to the Black family magic irritates the cursed scar Bellatrix left on her arm, reminding her why she can never truly trust or forgive him. Then Hermione discovers that Draco’s blood will soothe the scar . . . and Draco is willing to trade his blood for her body.
(With post-war blood purity politics, black market potioneers, Pansy Parkinson’s career advice, the Malfoys blackmailing Hermione’s Wizengamot opposition, BDE Neville Longbottom hunting Death Eaters, a slutty Theo Nott serving as Draco’s right-hand man, and Crookshanks loose in Malfoy Manor.)
Series
- Part 1 of THE BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC SERIES
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 195,969
- Chapters:
- 21/21
- Comments:
- 7,390
- Kudos:
- 30,100
- Bookmarks:
- 11,954
- Hits:
- 1,801,431
Bookmarked by Alexhill
31 Jan 2025
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Summary
When Auror Potter is anonymously cursed with silence by being forced to hide his own voice inside his mind, there's unfortunately only one person in the country with the qualifications to fix it: Certified and Licensed Healer Legilimens, Draco Malfoy, specialist in Mind Curses and Afflictions. It's obviously a terrible idea, a disaster waiting to happen, but Draco's never been able to back down from a challenge... especially from Potter.
Features fuzzy cartoon slippers, devious house elves, 90s music, and lots—LOTS—of memories. Ron is annoyingly hot, Hermione sees right through you, Harry is a powerful idiot, and Draco is a reclusive masochist that would buy an entire city if it would make a kid happy. (And Pansy is "5'2, I wanna dance with you, and I'm sophisticated fun.")
Series
- Part 1 of The Ordeal of Being Known
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 146,637
- Chapters:
- 14/14
- Comments:
- 2,498
- Kudos:
- 26,778
- Bookmarks:
- 9,737
- Hits:
- 890,049
Bookmarked by Alexhill
25 Jan 2021
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Summary
How did it feel? It felt like he was barely holding it together. She, of all people, should shun him. Or yell at him. Curse him. Spit at him. Take out her wand and blast him off the face of the earth. It was crushing guilt and relief and confusion all at once when he looked at Hermione Granger.
The monotony of Draco’s daily routine had become both a lifeline and a noose. But this new habit of grabbing coffee with Hermione Granger is quickly becoming a reason to get out of bed and is unfortunately forcing him to re-evaluate his inconsequential existence.
Hermione is living her life in fragments, separate pieces scattered about, and she can’t find a way to step back and let the full picture form. Why are morning meetings with Draco Malfoy the only thing that make sense anymore?Series
- Part 1 of Spectrum
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 312,286
- Chapters:
- 51/51
- Collections:
- 155
- Comments:
- 9,760
- Kudos:
- 36,466
- Bookmarks:
- 15,443
- Hits:
- 2,847,642
Bookmarked by Alexhill
10 Jan 2021
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Summary
Sequel to "The Right Thing to Do" - Draco's POV. Part 2 of the "Rights and Wrongs" series.
Series
- Part 2 of Rights and Wrongs
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 160,297
- Chapters:
- 24/24
- Comments:
- 2,988
- Kudos:
- 20,341
- Bookmarks:
- 5,253
- Hits:
- 1,314,019
Bookmarked by Alexhill
18 Nov 2020
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An October of Unconventional Courtships by GhostofBambi
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
31 Oct 2020
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Summary
Two phones. Thirty-one days. Eighteen tuxedos. A Jilytober texting fic.
Series
- Part 1 of AOUC Universe
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 50,996
- Chapters:
- 31/31
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 1,556
- Kudos:
- 2,737
- Bookmarks:
- 428
- Hits:
- 70,053
Bookmarked by Alexhill
31 Oct 2020
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Summary
Narcissa Black learned how to glide from her mother. Her sister Andromeda taught her how to feel, and Bella taught her how to lie. She learned strategy from her father. And from her husband… Well. She was still trying to discern what lesson Lucius Malfoy was teaching her. || LUCISSA set in The Right Thing to Do universe.
Series
- Part 3 of Rights and Wrongs
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 28,514
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Comments:
- 646
- Kudos:
- 5,553
- Bookmarks:
- 1,014
- Hits:
- 260,639
Bookmarked by Alexhill
29 Aug 2020
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Public Bookmark 10822
Mystery Work
Part of Private Collection
Summary
This is part of an ongoing challenge and will be revealed soon!
Bookmarked by Alexhill
28 Aug 2020
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A Lick and a Promise by tackytiger for LowerEastSide
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
07 Dec 2019
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Summary
Something sinister stirs in Hogwarts!
When magical creatures and students at the school are hit with a debilitating blood curse, Minerva McGonagall approaches the Ministry for help.
Star Auror Harry Potter seems to be the obvious choice to go undercover—as DADA Professor, naturally. He’s going to need the help of the Ministry’s foremost expert in blood magic to get to the bottom of the mystery, though, and he’s not entirely convinced that going back to Hogwarts with Draco Malfoy is a good idea.
Things are complicated between them—what’s new?—but they know they have to learn to work together (and keep their hands off each other in the corridors) in order to solve this case. Luckily for them, Hogwarts itself wants to lend a hand.
A tale of love, lessons, and learning to really live.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 55,322
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 698
- Kudos:
- 5,153
- Bookmarks:
- 1,596
- Hits:
- 96,929
Bookmarked by Alexhill
17 Aug 2020
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Tags
Summary
A Secret Santa exchange wreaks havoc on the lives of two unsuspecting students.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 38,820
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 426
- Kudos:
- 1,922
- Bookmarks:
- 287
- Hits:
- 29,295
Bookmarked by Alexhill
12 Aug 2020
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Public Bookmark 28917
Mystery Work
Part of archived works
Summary
This is part of an ongoing challenge and will be revealed soon!
Bookmarked by Alexhill
10 Jul 2020
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Everything but the Kitchen Sink by GhostofBambi for BeeDaily
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
09 Apr 2025
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Summary
Consequences ensue when James Potter drunkenly promises to bring his arch-nemesis to his friend's wedding as his date. Oops?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 41,557
- Chapters:
- 7/12
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 354
- Kudos:
- 1,184
- Bookmarks:
- 224
- Hits:
- 28,553
Bookmarked by Alexhill
03 Mar 2020
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Ten, Nine, Eight, Seven... Sneeze? by GhostofBambi
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
05 Jan 2020
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Summary
The countdown is on to midnight, and this strange boy is not to be sniffed at.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,945
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 56
- Kudos:
- 1,043
- Bookmarks:
- 160
- Hits:
- 10,822
Bookmarked by Alexhill
10 Jan 2020
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Summary
Hermione was often the one who thought things through. Always had a strategy in mind with an end in sight, and never willingly put herself in risky situations unless otherwise necessary. But as she stood here in the boys' lavatory with Draco Malfoy's back to her, she didn't have the faintest clue on what to do.
A Canon Divergent AU where Hermione is the one who confronts Draco in the boy's lavatory. PostHBP HG/DM
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 250,546
- Chapters:
- 35/39
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 448
- Kudos:
- 1,407
- Bookmarks:
- 694
- Hits:
- 93,593
Bookmarked by Alexhill
09 Jan 2020
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Summary
This year’s love had better last, heaven knows it’s high time when you try to make lovers from friends. But Harry Potter realises time and time again that it’s simply not possible for him. And then along comes Draco Malfoy— the ultimate foe on the mend. Whatever will become of them? A story about love.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 84,000
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 283
- Kudos:
- 2,332
- Bookmarks:
- 759
- Hits:
- 56,172
Bookmarked by Alexhill
02 May 2019
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(The Completely Unwilling Participants on) The Bachelor by cgner, GhostofBambi
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
12 Feb 2019
Tags
Summary
The title says it all.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 144,654
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 944
- Kudos:
- 2,755
- Bookmarks:
- 585
- Hits:
- 58,042
Bookmarked by Alexhill
22 Dec 2018
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Waiting By An Open Door by Femme (femmequixotic), noeon (noe) for bixgirl1
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
13 Aug 2017
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Summary
Draco starts following Potterwatch secretly during the War. He wishes Potter would come save him too. But that sort of thing only happens in fairy tales, and Malfoys don't get fairy tale endings, do they?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 29,506
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 236
- Kudos:
- 11,089
- Bookmarks:
- 2,727
- Hits:
- 155,446
Bookmarked by Alexhill
20 Dec 2018
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Boom Clap (The Sound of My Heart) by Femme (femmequixotic), noeon (noe) for firethesound
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
20 Dec 2016
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Summary
Post-war Hogwarts has been energized by its new teaching fellows program. Where once bitter enmity divided the wizarding community, Malfoy and Potter chummily patrol hallways together whilst Granger and Zabini seek lost parts of the castle at McGonagall’s behest and Chang supervises Quidditch when not lecturing in Charms. It’s a veritable wizarding utopia and life is predictable for the first time in years. Which is, of course, when everything blows apart as the result of a drunken dare and Malfoy’s life is ruined beyond his capacity to repair it. Ever. In a million years.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 39,547
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 174
- Kudos:
- 5,536
- Bookmarks:
- 1,420
- Hits:
- 102,312
Bookmarked by Alexhill
19 Dec 2018
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Summary
Oh, to fall in love, one inappropriate tryst at a time.
Bookmarked by Alexhill
18 Dec 2018
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Summary
Harry never expected to spend eighth year listening to Draco Malfoy wanking.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 41,476
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 1,148
- Kudos:
- 41,280
- Bookmarks:
- 8,882
- Hits:
- 688,993
Bookmarked by Alexhill
17 Dec 2018
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A Shower, A Meal, A Nap, and A Shag by chickenlivesinpumpkin
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
30 Apr 2014
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Summary
Harry's supposed to be alone in Grimmauld Place...so why is there a Malfoy in his shower? And what's Harry going to do about it?
Series
- Part 1 of It Started in the Shower
Bookmarked by Alexhill
12 Dec 2018