Balbaechel



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    Scott: I’ve been getting asked if it’s me. I considered denying but if we all deny and one person doesn’t, that sort of gives their identity away and I’m not sure they want that.
    Ilya: Everyone thinks is me. My agent asked if I want to comment too
    Scott: Wait, it's not you?
    Ilya: Maybe 🤔 Or maybe not 🤪
    Eric: What?

    Or: When Adrian Dela Cruz reveals he dated an NHL player, chaos and damage control ensue. A story told through texts, tweets, and one pretentious Variety article.

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    23 Mar 2026

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    He forces his lips to part, slow and measured, the way he does in media interviews when a question lands too close to the truth. “I’ve been on the same protocol for years. There haven’t been any issues. I just need a refill.”
    “There haven’t been any reported issues,” she corrects, folding her hands. “Shane, you haven’t let your body regulate since you were eleven. You’ve gone through over seventy suppressed cycles, and your hormone levels are showing signs of—”
    “I don’t care.”
    “You should.”
    “I said I don’t care.” His voice is flat, sharp. “I have a game in forty-eight hours.”

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    23 Mar 2026