BananaBoatBaby



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    He sighs from where he’s prone, arms akimbo, and roof gravel digging into his spine. “I lost my job. My… other job. The one that actually pays the bills.”

    He doesn’t want to dwell on why he’s telling Deadpool of all people. Surely it has nothing to do with his desperate lack of friends. MJ is in California chasing her dreams, Harry’s undergoing treatment for his mental health and isn’t allowed visitors (not that it matters since they blacklisted Peter after last time), and Gwen… Well.

    And it’s not like he can talk to Aunt May without her worrying about him starving to death under a bridge or something so… Deadpool it is. Man, when did his life get this pathetic?

    OR: The one where Peter and Wade are literal soulmates but don't realize it for literal years because they're literal idiots.

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    27 Aug 2026

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    In order to save everyone's lives, Peter is forced to give up memories - their memories of him. As a result, he is left entirely alone in a world where no one knows he exists. After finally moving on with his life, a new threat arises, bringing Peter back directly into the Avengers' path.

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    26 Aug 2026

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    Peter probably shouldn't be falling asleep on Deadpool, but after the Merc with a Mouth saves him from being abducted by two dick Alphas, he doesn't try as hard as he should to not.

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    18 Aug 2026

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    “That was a disaster. The press is having a field day.”
    “It wasn’t my fault,” Tony defends. “That Spider-Guy never knows when to shut up. He distracted me.”
    “Your reputation took a blow,” Pepper tells him. “Which will be fixed, of course. I’ve already set it up.”
    “Set what up? What, am I going to make flower arrangements with the elderly?”
    Pepper slides a piece of paper towards him. “Try an orphan. His name is Peter Parker. His biggest dream is to meet you. But…” She hesitates.
    “But?”
    “Apparently he doesn’t talk much. Sometimes not at all. Trauma-related.”
    “A smart kid who doesn’t talk? Perfect combination. If only all my employees were like that.”
    ---
    Or: Between Peter Parker barely speaking, and Spider-Man being the ultimate chatterbox, how was Tony ever supposed to figure out that they were one and the same person?

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    17 Aug 2026

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    “I know all about your secret identity.”
    A beat of silence. “Um,” Peter said, bunching his sweater in his hands. “Which… which one?”
    --
    Peter has three secret identities: Spider-Man, the superhero who swings around the city to save people. Parker Benjamin, who gives Tony Stark unsolicited advice on his research. And NightMonkey, the Instagrammer who keeps uploading increasingly popular but embarrassing drawings of Iron Man.
    And he can juggle them all just fine, thankyouverymuch.

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    16 Aug 2026