Basilicos
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i keep telling myself it wasn’t that bad. that nothing bad happened. that you were just a nice guy, that maybe i overreacted. but then it plays in my head again and again. i should have said no. i should have done something. i should have fought or screamed or run. but i didn’t. i froze. i just let it happen. i hate that i made it so easy.
why me? why you?
was it something i wore? hoodies and jeans was that somehow too revealing? or maybe it was just me. me being there. me existing in the wrong place at the wrong time. maybe that’s all it took. maybe i made it happen just by being there. i saw the signs, didn’t i? i stayed. i stayed and smiled and pretended it was fine until it wasn’t. so how can it not be my fault?
i don’t even know who i am anymore. i keep looking in the mirror and wondering if anyone else can see it. the stain of it on me. i keep scrubbing, but it won’t come off. i keep thinking if i could just go back, just one second before it happened, i’d be braver this time. i’d say no. i’d scream. i’d stop you. but i didn’t. and i can’t. and now i have to live with this forever.
"Rumi. It wasn't your fault."
Bookmarked by Basilicos
24 Sep 2025
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Post-movie. Everything is out in the open now. No more hiding, no more lying. It should be easy from there on, right? So why does it feel like everything has only gotten more complicated?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 193,356
- Chapters:
- 22/?
- Comments:
- 1,243
- Kudos:
- 2,279
- Bookmarks:
- 488
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- 72,155
Bookmarked by Basilicos
19 Sep 2025
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What now of soldiers returned to the plough? When the great work is complete, what place in the new world is there for one who has never been capable of knowing peace? There is no call for heroes in paradise, after all, and swords were never truly made for mantlepieces. The answer is simple: there is always a war somewhere, and if it cannot be found, it can be made...
(alternatively)
Rumi never really considered what lay beyond the goalposts of the Golden Honmoon, and is having trouble adjusting to her sudden lack of direction in life. This may lead to... questionable decisions.
Series
- Part 1 of The Harrowing (series)
Bookmarked by Basilicos
31 Aug 2025
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Summary
Edited summary-
Set after the Idol Awards, Rumi is trying—failing—to keep it together. The Honmoon is stronger than ever, Mira and Zoey have finally found happiness in each other, and her girls have accepted her completely. So why does she feel so broken? Why does she feel so utterly alone?
She tells herself she’s happy for them, but every laugh, every touch, makes the ache sharper. Rumi wants what they have, but she’s convinced she’ll never fit, never belong the way they do. So she looks for love in the wrong places—and finds it.
But when it isn’t what she dreamed, when it leaves her bleeding instead of whole, will Mira and Zoey be able to show her that she deserves more? Or will Rumi spiral so far down there’s nothing left to save?
Mind the tags ❤️
Bookmarked by Basilicos
31 Aug 2025
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Celine tried to meet Mira’s gaze, but couldn’t force herself to. She instead averted her eyes, staring at the floor. She could feel the hunter’s stare boring right through her soul.
“Yes,” she finally whispered. “Rumi has patterns. But she is not a demon.”
“Then you’re going to explain everything, right now, or I walk. And when I tell Zoey, she will too. You know she will.”
Celine let the silence hang for just a moment before solemnly nodding in agreement. “If we’re going to have this conversation now, I’m going to need a drink first. And Zoey should be here."
Or:
Mira finds out about Rumi's patterns prior to the Huntr/x world tour, and confronts Celine about it. Secrets and feelings are revealed, and love lights the way.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 165,655
- Chapters:
- 31/?
- Comments:
- 1,064
- Kudos:
- 1,891
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- 475
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- 68,600
Bookmarked by Basilicos
27 Aug 2025