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"How many birch trees have died in service of your oral fixation, Bagman?" Phoenix chuckles before she plucks the toothpick from his mouth and tosses it in the direction of the sink.
Phoenix tries to figure out where her life went so wrong that she is surrounded by this brain trust at the end of the world.
(Or: the apocalypse AU that no one asked for! There's really only one part about two-thirds of the way down in the first chapter that gets the E-rating - and you could skip if so inclined - but the rest of the fic is mostly rated T.)
Bookmarked by ChowderSoup27
07 Jul 2025
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"Should I be offended by how game you are to volunteer me for these honeypot missions?"
No one questions who he had to give up to stay alive.
(Or: the one where they're all spies. Agent Bradley Bradshaw returns after being presumed dead for five years, but the only person who seems to doubt his allegiances is Jake Seresin, a man with his own share of baggage.)
Bookmarked by ChowderSoup27
07 Jul 2025
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The Phoenix that had taken off less than an hour before, the one that he admired with every fiber of his being, was not the same person that landed on the carrier, and the thought absolutely devastated him.
Bookmarked by ChowderSoup27
07 Jul 2025
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"If you meet someone who wants to bequeath a castle to you, I promise to walk you down the aisle myself."
(Or: the one where Jake and Natasha drunkenly get married in Vegas and then try to stay married for career advancement without killing each other.)
Series
- Part 1 of take this losing hand and make it win
Bookmarked by ChowderSoup27
07 Jul 2025
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Jake Seresin is a washed-out rockstar one public scandal away from losing everything. Natasha Trace is fresh off her success rehabilitating rising star Bradley Bradshaw when she gets a job offer from Jake's record label. The money is too good to turn down - but she should have known they were desperate for a reason.
“I’m not like the rest of you. That’s your problem, Trace. You’ll never understand me because you’re not like me. It must be nice, living in your little world where you push people around like toys and then get to sleep peacefully through the night. But that’s not my world.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean? You think my life is perfect?” She makes a disgusted sound. “I have to deal with you every day. Do you even know how hard that is?”
“Yes," he snaps.
“You’re a coward, Jake Seresin!” she calls after him. “You just run away from all your problems!”
“At least I don’t stick my nose in everyone else’s!”
“Why are you even here?” he asks, his voice suddenly quiet. “Why did you think you could be the one to fix me when everyone else has failed?"
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- English
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Bookmarked by ChowderSoup27
07 Jul 2025
