CitrusLovingPanda



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Christopher left with barely a word. Bobby retired without telling the team, without even telling Buck. It aches, but Buck is better equipped to handle the situation than most. He’s lived with this pain for so long it feels like a part of him, tucked away in a corner of his heart. People leave him all the time, he’s had a lot of opportunities to get good at what comes after. It hurts, sure, but Buck knows he’ll survive it, knows how to cope with it, knows how to go on living.

    Eddie doesn’t.

    -----------------

    Christopher's gone, Bobby's in forced retirement, Gerrard is a terror, and Buck is trying to keep his family together, at any cost.

    Eddie needs to learn who he is and what he wants outside of being a father, of being a firefighter.

    As they work to rescue the people of Los Angeles from perilous disasters, they just might find a way to save each other.

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    09 May 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Sequel to "With a Friend in the Dark.”

    It's been weeks since Buck's cancer diagnosis, and in most ways, things are looking up. The idea of resuming chemo still frightens him, but not nearly as much as it did last time. This time, he has people on his side. But Buck is about to learn that treatment is just the first challenge. Money troubles, identity crises, learning what real love means for the first time at twenty-seven... who knew cancer would be so complicated?

    Eddie, meanwhile, is still wrestling with his guilt and anger over how he handled things the first time. Being there for Buck? That's a given. Figuring out what it means to be Buck's friend through his cancer treatments, in the wake of all that's happened between them? That seems a lot trickier. Even more so when Eddie starts to realize that anger and guilt might not be the only feelings he's having.

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    11/?
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    05 May 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    11

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    He knows he could have called Maddie and she would have been there, though the memory of her disappointment last time stopped him. As for everyone else—even if he weren’t prohibited from talking to them by his lawyer, Buck doubts anyone would have come. The last time they talked was when they ran into each other in the grocery store a week back, and, since Buck is not eager for a repeat of that interaction, he doesn’t even consider calling anyone in to hold his hand for what is, he tells himself, probably just another little blip on his road back to the 118.

    He is able to convince himself of this up until the moment Dr. Gutierrez walks into his room and says, “Well, Evan, you just can’t seem to do anything the easy way, can you?”

    Because, as it turns out, there is a circumstance under which a tiny clot that doesn’t cause you to vomit blood in front of all of your friends and family is worse than three big ones that do: that circumstance is called ‘being on blood thinners.’
    ***
    In the midst of the lawsuit, Buck is diagnosed with cancer. Dropping the lawsuit is easy. Finding forgiveness, less so.

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    01 May 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    After Eddie goes through an entire box of Frank’s tissues in a week and finally manages to read through those reddit stories without flinching, he tells Frank, “I think I want to have sex. Like with a man. Gay sex.”

    Frank tilts his head, pressing the tip of his middle finger against the space between his eyebrows, and sighs. He makes a note — Eddie wonders, half-hysterical, if he’s writing down the words gay sex — and then taps the end of his pen against his knee as he meets Eddie’s eyes.

    “Do I have to tell you that you don’t have to?” Frank asks, mild.

    -

    or, eddie sleeps with men that aren't buck until, well, you know.

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    26 Apr 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    When the 118 jokingly launches a Cowboy Competition to learn who is more Cowboy. Buck and Eddie find themselves in the middle of a playful showdown—Montana ranch hand versus Texas native.
    ____
    Buck wasn’t oblivious to it—the way Eddie’s gaze lingered just a little too long, the way his jaw flexed like he was trying not to react. It made something flutter in Buck’s chest. Something warm. Hopeful. Maybe even dangerous.

    And then the music shifted into something fast and easy, and Buck reached out his hand.
    “Come on. I promise not to lasso anyone.”

    Eddie huffed a laugh, but he took the offered hand anyway.

    Buck led him toward the edge of the dance floor, feet already tapping in time with the beat, and as they fell into the simple steps, Buck let himself watch—really watch—Eddie find it.

    That rhythm. That spark. That joy.

    Eddie’s smile started small, hesitant. But with each beat, each movement, it grew. Buck watched Eddie dance with joy. Buck couldn’t look away.

    God, he was so gone.

    And when Eddie turned mid-step, grinning, hat-lighted Buck standing just inches away, all Buck could think was:

    I want to dance with him like this forever.

    Language:
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    20 Apr 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

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