Crumppet
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Summary
“So… uh, what book are we choosing?”
“Oh, well, me and Gangle were thinking Pride and Prejudice,” Zooble says casually, nodding toward the chalkboard.
Jax groans theatrically, uncrossing his arms to give Zooble a flat, unimpressed stare. “Lame. Boring.”
Zooble’s eyes narrow. “Then what do you suggest, Jax?”
He smirks, pointing at the board. “The Great Gatsby.”
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A Funnybunny college AU no one asked for
Bookmarked by Crumppet
01 Dec 2025
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Summary
A week after hooking up with her professor, Charlie's starting to wonder if Alastor's interest in her was a passing whim or if there's something more under the surface.
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Follow-up/sequel to Oblique Intention.
Series
- Part 3 of Oblique Intention
Bookmarked by Crumppet
17 Nov 2025
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Summary
Gon Freecss, Summer-born Bounty Hunter, has always been known across the Summer Tropic for his prodigy and odd behavior. The bizarre Hunter becomes the center of Tropic gossip once more when he brings his too pale, blue-eyed, and silver-haired Winter-born fiancé, Killua Zoldyck, to the Summer Solstice Celebration.
It would be scandalous to invite a Winter-born to the Summer Solstice on any given year. But to completely ignore the increasingly tense political frictions between the Summer and Winter Tropics after the disappearance of Winter Tropic Prince is a new level of blind ignorance that only Ging Freecss’ son seems capable of bearing.
Little do they know, faking an engagement to sneak a runway Prince into the Summer Tropic Palace and steal the kingdom’s legendary Soul Mirror is exactly the kind of thing Gon would do. The arrangement would prove lucrative to Killua and Gon both if successful. And luckily for Gon, it shouldn’t be too difficult for him to pretend being engaged to someone he’s half in love with already.
After all, what’s the worst that could happen?
Bookmarked by Crumppet
08 Oct 2025
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Summary
It’s 2008 and Draco Malfoy is a secret assassin. It's legitimate - he gets paid for it, and some higher ups in the Ministry (probably?) know he’s out there… killing people. He’s quite good, but that tracks with his dubious accounting of rights and wrongs and his penchant for self-preservation. During his downtime he does a great job of acting like a pureblood in penance... mostly by drinking and shagging his way into oblivion.
This double life helps to numb Draco to the constant feelings of shame and guilt from his formative years in which he was an utter cunt- but everything is upended when his team (assassins can have coworkers, alright?) dies in action and he does not. Suspended and forced to go to therapy, Draco is adrift.
When Hermione Granger re-enters the fray, their hateful relationship that was once fraught with swotty bickering (erm, and the occasional slur) is suddenly tense in a very different way.
How will these two come together? How often will Theo say something terribly charming? Do we hate Ron or is Ron just, meh? Oh, and what’s going on with that one murderous witch who’s out to kill them all (forgot to mention that part…)?
Find out all this and more in: A HARD ROW TO HOE!
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 250,249
- Chapters:
- 30/30
- Collections:
- 9
- Comments:
- 2,779
- Kudos:
- 5,490
- Bookmarks:
- 3,328
- Hits:
- 359,367
Bookmarked by Crumppet
18 Aug 2025
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Summary
“The World Cup fling wouldn't have happened if you hadn’t cornered me in the lift at the hotel,” Hermione said.
“I wouldn’t have cornered you at the hotel if you hadn’t kissed me during the New Year's party,” Draco argued back.
“Are we going to keep fighting or are you going to kiss me?” Hermione asked breathlessly.
“Baby, you know fighting is our foreplay,” Draco said huskily in return.
Series
- Part 10 of Trope Tags
Bookmarked by Crumppet
23 Jul 2025