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   I've Never been Anywhere as Cold as You by Anonymous

   Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling  

   • Teen And Up Audiences
   • Graphic Depictions Of Violence
   • M/M
   • Work in Progress

   25 Dec 2025

   Tags

   • Graphic Depictions Of Violence
   • Harry Potter & Voldemort
   • Harry Potter & Nagini
   • Harry Potter & the Death Eaters
   • Hermione Granger & Harry Potter & Ron Weasley
   • Hermione Granger & Ron Weasley
   • Hedwig & Harry Potter
   • Harry Potter & Severus Snape
   • Bellatrix Black Lestrange & Harry Potter
   • Draco Malfoy & Harry Potter
   • Narcissa Black Malfoy & Harry Potter
   • Lucius Malfoy & Harry Potter
   • Harry Potter
   • Voldemort (Harry Potter)
   • Ron Weasley
   • Hermione Granger
   • Death Eater Characters
   • Order of the Phoenix
   • Hedwig (Harry Potter)
   • Original House-Elf Character(s)
   • Original Characters
   • The Malfoy Family - Character
   • Crack Treated Seriously
   • Humor
   • Possessive Behavior
   • does it count as a dysfunctional relationship if it works shockingly well for them?
   • Butlers
   • Master/Servant
   • But Not In The Normal Way
   • Secret Identity
   • Identity Porn
   • Fluff
   • Angst
   • Fluff and Angst
   • Emotional Manipulation
   • Torture
   • Implied/Referenced Torture
   • Morally Grey Harry Potter
   • Dubious Morality
   • Moral Decay
   • Death Eater Harry Potter
   • Codependency
   • Drinking
   • The Author Regrets Nothing
   • Explicit Language
   • Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence
   • Other Additional Tags to Be Added
   • please do not copy to another site
   • no betas we die like Harry’s parents
   • This is intended as a satirical piece
   • Please do not take it seriously
   • we don't support jkr in this house
   • No Romance

   Summary

   One could not talk about the Dark Lord, so feared none dared speak his name aloud, without also mentioning his faithful Butler.

   Language:

   English

   Words:

   89,908

   Chapters:

   31/?

   Collections:

   1

   Comments:

   2,145

   Kudos:

   3,087

   Bookmarks:

   719

   Hits:

   87,395

   Bookmarked by Daribrillar

   09 Mar 2025