DoorknobOnWheels
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Cut Out My Heart and Tell Me You Love Me by perpetualwhim
Fandoms: Hazbin Hotel (Cartoon)
05 Feb 2026
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Summary
“Yeah, I’m a fucking idiot,” Vox growled. “Sometimes I care about people, okay? That’s normal. That what you do when you’re a person and not just a psychopathic caricature. But I suggest you leave me the fuck alone about it and think about declaring a temporary truce, because we’re both stuck in this room, and your inhibitions are going to be just as lowered as mine.”
“Oh, I’m well aware,” Alastor drawled, and let his legs fall open, revealing that he was every bit as hard as Vox was right now. He dragged his fingers delicately up the thick ridge straining against his pants as Vox’s pulse roared in his ears. “What sort of truce do you have in mind?”
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Or: a deer demon and a guy with a TV for a head get dosed with sex pollen, and then things start getting a little weird.
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Or: two psychopaths fail their way into a mutually satisfying relationship, while the author fails to write a one-shot
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 54,974
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Comments:
- 326
- Kudos:
- 784
- Bookmarks:
- 141
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Bookmarked by DoorknobOnWheels
30 Mar 2026
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Summary
“... Vox. You can call me Vox.”
Alastor gave an acknowledging hum. “I understand it’s your first time at an establishment like this, is it, Vox?”
“It is, yes.”
“And have you been in a dynamic like this with anyone before?”
“No…” Vincent trailed off, avoiding eye contact once again. He really didn’t like being the inexperienced one.
Alastor seemed to perceive his nerves increasing at this line of questioning, and his already kind and welcoming voice noticeably softened. “Can you try something for me, darling?”
Vincent's stress is getting to him, and he turns to a paid dominant to take the edge off. Alastor is exceptional at making him fall apart, though the effect soon begins to go both ways.
How do professional boundaries hold up when one partner is experiencing true acceptance of his asexuality for the first time, and the other has found the only person to ever make him feel good enough?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 54,348
- Chapters:
- 9/?
- Comments:
- 848
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- 1,377
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- 284
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- 31,216
Bookmarked by DoorknobOnWheels
26 Mar 2026
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Summary
Alastor shocks Lucifer by offering him a deal so shitty it's laughable: Lucifer would get to fuck Alastor, as long as he lets him eat and torture him too.
Lucifer isn't interested in taking Alastor against his will, deal or not, but he might be opened to the cannibalism. That is, if they can come to some sort of agreement that isn't signed on a scroll.
As Lucifer navigates a new relationship that is as rewarding as it is challenging, he has to wonder why Alastor even offered him that deal in the first place.
Series
- Part 1 of Bloodlust
Bookmarked by DoorknobOnWheels
29 Nov 2025
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Summary
Alastor blinked, caught between confusion and realization. His mouth parted, but no sound came. His ears twitched, still flattened. His hands were trembling now, but not from fear—just from the sheer emotion building in his chest.
Lucifer watched him closely, eyes tracing every flicker of uncertainty across Alastor’s face.
He still doesn’t believe he’s allowed to feel safe.
He still doesn’t believe he’s allowed to be cared for—without having to earn it, without offering something in return.
And Lucifer hates that.
Hates the voices that put that fear in him.
Hates the world that taught him affection is currency.
Hates everyone whoever made Alastor believe that love has to hurt first to be real.
Lucifer didn’t say any of that aloud. Not yet.Series
- Part 4 of Unlearning Silence
Bookmarked by DoorknobOnWheels
01 Nov 2025
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Summary
“Do you mean to imply that we've just had sex?”
Now it's Lucifer's turn to be confused. “Is that a serious question?”
Alastor's unblinking stare is answer enough.
“Alastor, you just tongue-fucked me through the most mind-blowing chain orgasm I can remember in recent history. I don't know how that could be considered not sex.”In Lucifer's defense it had seemed like a good idea at the time. Period blood and cannibals? It's like a match made in Heaven! But this is Hell, and nothing is ever that simple.
Series
- Part 5 of A Gentlemen's Accord, If You Will
Bookmarked by DoorknobOnWheels
01 Nov 2025