Elsass_Lothringen
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Summary
“In my humble opinion there’s only three things that men should be and that is bloody, slutty, and pathetic.” And, on a good day, Draco Malfoy can be all three.
When war heroine Hermione Granger and Azkaban-tattooed war criminal Draco Malfoy are forced to wed as part of Shacklebolt’s controversial Reconciliation Act, they openly fight the match and each other—their public brawls breathlessly reported by the press.
Secretly, a deeply traumatized Draco delights in Hermione’s attention and pines for a real marriage with her—even as her forced proximity to the Black family magic irritates the cursed scar Bellatrix left on her arm, reminding her why she can never truly trust or forgive him. Then Hermione discovers that Draco’s blood will soothe the scar . . . and Draco is willing to trade his blood for her body.
(With post-war blood purity politics, black market potioneers, Pansy Parkinson’s career advice, the Malfoys blackmailing Hermione’s Wizengamot opposition, BDE Neville Longbottom hunting Death Eaters, a slutty Theo Nott serving as Draco’s right-hand man, and Crookshanks loose in Malfoy Manor.)
Series
- Part 1 of THE BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC SERIES
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 195,969
- Chapters:
- 21/21
- Comments:
- 7,443
- Kudos:
- 30,678
- Bookmarks:
- 12,176
- Hits:
- 1,851,703
Bookmarked by Elsass_Lothringen
03 May 2025
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Summary
It was only supposed to be a mother-daughter holiday. But Rose Weasley is her mother's daughter, and her best friend happens to be Scorpius Malfoy.
“You need to come now,” Hermione whispered. “I think I may be an accessory to kidnapping Draco Malfoy’s son.”
or
Rose Weasley and Scorpius Malfoy are on a mission to set up their parents. What better time to parent-trap them together than the week-long Christmas Holiday Hermione has been planning for three months?Series
- Part 1 of Mission T.I.T.S and Other Mischiefs
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 143,200
- Chapters:
- 25/25
- Collections:
- 7
- Comments:
- 2,660
- Kudos:
- 6,857
- Bookmarks:
- 2,358
- Hits:
- 261,120
Bookmarked by Elsass_Lothringen
04 Jan 2025
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Summary
To be loved is to be known.
And there is nothing more alluring to Hermione Granger than the unknown.
A reintroduction beginning in eighth year and continuing into adulthood, told through a series of standout moments, stemming from the most unlikely of bonds.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 51,289
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 859
- Kudos:
- 3,081
- Bookmarks:
- 1,278
- Hits:
- 74,961
Bookmarked by Elsass_Lothringen
03 Dec 2024
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Summary
If there’s one thing Hermione Granger is good at, it’s using magic to fix her problems. And this time, her problem is sex.
Luckily, she has the perfect solution: a locket enchanted with the Patented Daydream Charm. Whenever she opens it, she’ll find herself in Dreamland, where she can live out all her filthiest fantasies risk-free.
The magic is a bit tricky, though. For some reason, Malfoy keeps showing up there with her. Thank goodness it’s only an illusion—if that was really him, she would never live it down.
Meanwhile, Draco is determined to figure out who the fuck is cursing him to suffer through highly realistic, erotic hallucinations of his secret childhood crush. When he finds the culprit, there will be hell to pay.
Series
- Part 1 of Sin's Dreamland Collection
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 229,630
- Chapters:
- 39/39
- Collections:
- 29
- Comments:
- 6,110
- Kudos:
- 24,794
- Bookmarks:
- 8,172
- Hits:
- 1,597,309
Bookmarked by Elsass_Lothringen
15 Nov 2024
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Summary
To truly know someone is to differentiate between who they once were, who they are now, and who they're capable of being. Hermione realises the duality of one man as she rectifies what she knows of the past and begins to understand the pieces of who Draco Malfoy is now: a father, a son, and a man.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 588,656
- Chapters:
- 42/42
- Comments:
- 9,352
- Kudos:
- 38,943
- Bookmarks:
- 17,168
- Hits:
- 4,253,003
Bookmarked by Elsass_Lothringen
14 Oct 2024