FriendlyAlien
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Wilson said, “So we’re just two friends who want to have sex with each other, who aren’t going to do anything about it.”
Spoken with the incredulity of a beautiful person with low impulse control. House shrugged.
“We’ve been that for years. Why mess with success?”
Wilson was looking at his mouth. He sounded strained. “I don’t think what we’re doing qualifies as success.”
- Language:
- English
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- 15,050
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- 1/1
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Bookmarked by FriendlyAlien
09 Dec 2023
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An offhand comment leads Wilson to test out some unusual methods of pain relief for House. (They’re extremely effective.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 14,529
- Chapters:
- 1/1
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- 272
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Bookmarked by FriendlyAlien
06 Dec 2023
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Blackbeard is the king of explicit toy reviews, one word from him can sell out all stock or ruin sales entirely. Over the years he has built up a reputation as a brutally honest reviewer, but when he posts a scathing review of a new release, he is astonished to find himself challenged by The Gentleman Reviewer, who claims the toy isn’t faulty but Blackbeard was misusing it.
Neither side is willing to back down, and their bickering escalates into a full-blown rivalry with the two of them battling it out to become the No.1 profile on the site. Nothing like a heated rivalry to get the blood going. Could this set ablaze something else between them?
Series
- Part 4 of bonnypitty's SMAUs
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 254,277
- Chapters:
- 57/?
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- 1
- Comments:
- 613
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- 834
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- 219
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- 38,124
Bookmarked by FriendlyAlien
27 Nov 2023
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“He’s my husband, I can’t—” Stede gulps. “I’m married, Ed. I made vows. I’ve got to stick to them.”
“Is he sticking to them?” It comes out sharp. There’s genuine anger in Ed’s voice now, as though he’s personally affronted that Stede isn’t being satisfied. “To have and to hold, yeah?” Ed says, his voice low and gravelly. “When was the last time he held you, Stede?”
Stede whines desperately, tilting his head to give Ed more access to his neck. Hot lips drag up to Stede’s ear.
“When was the last time he had you?”
Bookmarked by FriendlyAlien
22 Nov 2023
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Ed's minding his business when the new neighbor's kid comes around holding a human puppet. It's creepy as hell, but as soon as the kid's father rounds the corner, Ed doesn't mind.
ETA: Podfic available here from Kninjaknitter my darling dearest
“Hello,” says the strangest voice Ed’s ever heard, jolting him out of his reverie, sending his heart speeding into chaos.He opens his eyes and he’s staring straight at a stuffed animal in the shape of a human person. It is bald with a tiny hat and too-big eyes and it wears a blue shirt and a name tag that says Jeffy in the sort of scrawl normally reserved for words written in blood.
A puppet, he realizes several seconds beyond when it would have been appropriate to respond.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 83,773
- Chapters:
- 8/8
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- 1,644
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- 1,735
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- 584
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Bookmarked by FriendlyAlien
15 Nov 2023