Held_Parallel



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    “Wait, I could totally see that,” Connors says. “She wears reading glasses and he’s, like, obsessed with them. Sometimes on the road, he calls her from the bathroom and I hear him begging her to put them on.”

    “The glasses! I heard that too.” Shit, it must be a fetish, right? She doesn’t just happen to be old. Rozy likes that she’s old.

    Or: Cliff figures out why Ilya’s keeping his Montreal girl a secret. She’s not a girl at all...she's an elderly woman. Or maybe an elderly man?

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    24 Mar 2026

  2. Public Bookmark 57

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    Ilya could already feel in his body that this was going to be a long day. Everything in his body, from his bones to his muscles to his organs, felt impossibly heavy in a way that he was all-too familiar with.
    His heart yearned to properly console his husband, discuss what was upsetting him, but he had too much fear that he would say the wrong thing and give Shane more stress. Breathing was easier than speaking, a rarity for Ilya Rozanov.

    ---

    a study of what happens when ilya has a bad depression day and shane's autism causes him to get overstimulated at the same time. what happens when neither of them can be fully there to catch the other one because they need to be caught themself?

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    05 Mar 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    "Look, it’s not like Shane hasn’t thought about it before.

    He’s bitten his lip, pillows, blankets, around the urge, especially when Ilya sinks into that devastating place where each word is both sympathetic and commanding.

    It’s always harder when Ilya asks 'you can do this for me, can’t you, solnyshko?'

    Instead, he always moans and nods his head. Forces his mouth closed after he breathes out a yes."

    Language:
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    26 Feb 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    The next day at practice, he was sure everyone could tell. He felt wobbly on his skates, unsteady like he hadn’t been in years. Not since early childhood.

    “You good?” Hayden asked when they sat down together for a water break. “You seem off.”

    Shane hoped he hadn’t noticed him wincing. “Yeah, my uh, my back kinda hurts.” It wasn’t entirely a lie: his lower back did feel tight, in addition to everything else. “I think I just slept weird or something. I’ll be fine.”

    “Go see Dr. Whitaker if you still feel bad tomorrow. Gotta be in good shape by game time, right?” Hayden asked, patting his shoulder affectionately. He looked worried, which made Shane feel fleetingly guilty.

    “If I do, I’ll go see him, but I’m sure I’ll be fine. I am fine. Promise,” he said, then leaned over so they could knock their helmets together like always. For friendship, for good luck.

    “Okay,” Hayden said, sounding unconvinced.

    He played well the next day - better than usual, even.

    He could feel the lingering ache of Ilya inside him for the entire game.

    Or: a series of ways and times Ilya left a lasting impression on Shane.

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    22 Feb 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Things were good this morning. Shane woke him up gently and they stayed in bed a bit, just sharing warmth and soft, unhurried kisses until it was time to get up; Anya excitedly barked and jumped around them until Ilya opened the bay window to let her outside where she did her business before returning to beg for breakfast like they never feed her; Ilya grumbled about the food Shane prepared but he ate it anyway. This morning was like most of the mornings they’ve had since they got married and Ilya had seemed as excited about practice as Shane had felt.

    Ilya’s grip on the steering wheel tightens. “Not now,” he says, and it feels like a slap to the face.


    September 2021, married Shane and Ilya are now playing on the same team, and the things it does to Ilya.

    Language:
    English
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    21 Feb 2026