IrrelevantAssassin
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Alastor found the golden opportunity to capture his mark when Lucifer Morningstar himself wandered off to an isolated room at the party that he went to with his seemingly distant wife, Lillith. But after making the man unconscious and bringing him to his car he finds that he cannot go through with the hit on him. And no, it isn't for any sentimental reason. It's because the man is pregnant judging by the bulge starting to show on his stomach. Now Alastor may be a serial killer for hire, and he may even enjoy it, but he has one very firm rule; he refuses to harm a child, no matter the circumstances.
So now this was quite the pickle they both found themselves in. Because Lucifer woke up to find himself in a, admittedly very nice, cabin in the middle of the woods. Chained to a bed by his ankle, with his kidnapper sitting there telling him that until Alastor can get in touch with the person who hired him to kill Lucifer to clarify a few things, or Lucifer gives birth whichever came first, he was going to have to stay in that cabin. With his kidnapper. That he was getting more fond of by the day in spite of everything. Or he would have to die. Really at this point it was a coin flip.
Bookmarked by IrrelevantAssassin
28 Nov 2025
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peter parker and a corner shop by Alexlively88
Fandoms: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
13 Sep 2025
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Peter Parker has had it rough. Having been dealt a shitty hand in life, he thought everything was going to get better when he fell in love. He thought wrong.
Now he's going to New York.
Or, Wade Wilson owns a corner shop in Queens, New York. Life is peaceful. One day, an omega tries to steal from him.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 151,950
- Chapters:
- 47/?
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 1,415
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- Bookmarks:
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Bookmarked by IrrelevantAssassin
05 Mar 2024
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Rin Okumura raised in Gehenna by his father, runs away to spend a few years away from his home. He tries to chart unknown territory as he acclimates to human life. Refusing to be a weapon in a war he wants nothing to do with, he tries to find meaning in a life that was never his, to begin with. How does he face his murderer who robbed him of his humanity from him?
Bookmarked by IrrelevantAssassin
22 Feb 2024
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If I Put My Hands Around Your Wrists, Would You Fight Them by wiltedlotus
Fandoms: 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV)
12 Oct 2022
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Wei Wuxian continuously refuses to return to the Cloud Recesses with Lan Wangji.
Lan Wangji removes the concept of choice.HEED THE TAGS
H E E D THE T A G S(Wei Ying voice) Oh nooo Lan Zhan don't lock me up on the mountain oh noooo I would haaate that
Bookmarked by IrrelevantAssassin
11 Oct 2023
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The Righteous Path to Evil by Jengabears
Fandoms: 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV), 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, 魔道祖师 | Módào Zǔshī (Cartoon)
11 Jan 2023
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It starts with Lan Wangji holding a whip in the snow.
Of a determination Lan Qiren sees on his face. An expression he knows all too well. Lan Qiren’s threat won't stop him. It’s barely made him pause. The boy doesn't sit in repentance, but in relief. There is a confident, defiant warmth in his eyes which seems to melt the snow around him and set the whip ablaze upon his palms.
His nephew would disobey him. Of this, Qiren is sure.
He would find a way to return to that demon which ensnared him; and perhaps next time he goes, he would not get him back. Either that demon kills him, or ensnares him into his wicked ways.
Lan Qiren would not stand for it. Something had to be done...before it was too late. Too late to save Wangji... Too late to save his clan from the slow encroach of evil which that demon has wrought upon their world.
He would not stand by again and let another Wen sect rise up and claim the lives of the ones he loved. He would not repeat his mistake again.
This time, it will be he who acts first.
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Lan Qiren goes to Yiling with a group of disciples to kill or apprehend the Yiling Patriarch.
Bookmarked by IrrelevantAssassin
09 Oct 2023