Jesuisuncoussin



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    It was one time.

    Statistically, condoms had a 98% success rate when used properly. That meant that the condom packet had to have been perfectly sealed, the latex itself had to have no tears or degradation in the material, and it had to be worn as directed.

    So why?

    Why did it feel like the universe was saying fuck you in big bold letters and giving him double birds at the same time?

    So why did the blue lines and the pregnant on the two tests sound so fucking fake?

    Or: Where Shane finds out he's pregnant after their first time together in 2013 despite wearing protection, because the universe loves to fuck with him.

    Set in Omegaverse. Tags will be updated as story progresses.

    (Will be updated every 4-6 days, opposite of The Fertility Face-Off. Updated: June 22nd)

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    22 Jun 2026

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    The blackouts are getting worse.

    They aren't dangerous, in the long run, just strange. Strange because they only ever happen when Shane is at home; never on the road, at the rink, or even when in public.

    His blackouts only ever happen in his condo.

    Shane doesn't even realize something is happening at first. He'll get home after practice or a game, exhausted, and the second the front door closes behind him something in his body loosens. A warmth spreads through him and his thoughts will go fuzzy at the edges. His inner omega will start purring low and smug in the back of his mind.

    Nest, it says.

    Once the thought hits, the urge becomes almost unbearable. He usually makes it to the bedroom before the rest hits. Shane will crawl into bed still half dressed, burrowing instinctively into the blankets, dragging pillows close against his chest while warmth floods his body in thick, heavy waves. His painfully organized nest will become messy, Shane digging around until the chaotic placements feels perfect.

    And then—nothing. Absolutely nothing. Hours vanish, sometimes even entire evenings.

    Series
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    22 Jun 2026

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    Shane Hollander is the sweet, loyal, quiet househusband omega. His beta husband can't get him pregnant, so he turns to a porn star for help. He discovers he likes a bit of real domination, especially on camera. Over time, their casual arrangement becomes more and more intimate, until they can't deny it any longer ...

    The smut is a vehicle for feels.

    ***

    Fic complete!

    Language:
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    Words:
    158,224
    Chapters:
    31/31
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    22 Jun 2026

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    Shane Hollander is Britain's most promising Quidditch Talent. Already being fought for by Europe's biggest teams despite it not even being his Rookie year yet.
    Shane always has a plan, and if all had gone as he’d intended, his final year at Hogwarts would be spent on a broom winning match after match in front of the scouts before finally having his pick of teams. To his horror, his plans are then thrown into utter disarray when Hogwarts is chosen to host the most dangerous magical competition known amongst the three great wizarding schools: The Triwizard tournament. 
    Shane is gutted as his hopes for winning the Quidditch cup are thrown out the window, but it doesn't take long for him to realise that this time he might be able to aim for something different—something bigger. Maybe even the most prestigious title a Graduate could hold—Triwizard Champion. 

    Shane Hollander has always been destined to Win. That is until Drumstrang's prospect Ilya Rozanov, the only man ever to best him, steps into his path. Creating yet another dangerous task Shane would have to get past to win.

    And oh, how Shane hates him for it.

    Language:
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    20 Jun 2026

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    After a violent incident, Shane Hollander's management team and parents hire him a bodyguard.

    Enter Ilya Rozanov.

    Language:
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    19 Jun 2026