Juneisnotgod



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    “Sweetheart, your pretty little head is so silly. For every photocard I make of ugly hockey men, I make two of my gorgeous, radiant, pulchritudinous boyfriend. Sometimes three.”

    A smile breaks through the heated haze of Shane’s expression. “You’ve been using the thesaurus Dad got you for Christmas?”

    “I will beat Yuna Hollander at Scrabble one day,” Ilya declares against Shane’s hip bone.

    In the year between the Cottage and the Centaurs, Ilya misses Shane more than ever. Svetlana’s teenage cousin offers a coping method: Kpop-style Shane Hollander photocards to stare at all day long. It's a shame carrying around pictures of fellow hockey players is just not socially acceptable.

    …At least, not yet.
     
    (AKA: Ilya's mission to desensitize the hockey world to his Hollander fanboyisms, and the NHL players that suffer for it.)

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    08 Jul 2026

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    “Rozanov— fuck. I can explain.” Shane blurted out in a panic, it came out mostly as a whimper though.

    “You are in heat?” Ilya asked, he was looming over the edge of the bed, standing at the foot of it.

    “Yeah— I—” Shane started, before he was cut off.

    “My clothes, you are nesting?” Ilya asked, he was moving from his spot at the foot of the bed, over to the side where Shane was laying.

     

    or

    what if Shane went into heat after the tuna melt scene

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    05 Jul 2026

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    "Hi, solnyshko.”
    The Russian pet name set a firework off inside Shane's mind as he heard it cooed from behind him. The intonation was just as he remembered, but the voice was much deeper.

    He turned and felt himself short circuit. It took every ounce of willpower to not let his jaw drop cartoonishly to the floor. Shane would recognize his individual features anywhere, even after 5 years. But it was as if someone had snapped their fingers and the smug, silly Russian boy who had been attached to Shane's hip for 3 summers was transformed into some sort of fucking Adonis right before his eyes.

    “Ilya-” was all Shane managed before strong arms were wrapped around his waist and lifting him off the ground in a greeting all too familiar from years ago.

     

    OR
    When Shane Hollander & Ilya Rozanov spent their summers as teens in an elite hockey camp, they quickly became inseparable friends. But they lose touch when Shane moves on as a prospect for the NHL and Ilya for the KHL.

    Years later, Montreal makes a bold move to take the hottest player in the KHL. After hearing of the Russian's reputation, the Montreal Captain is tasked with keeping his old best friend and new teammate out of trouble.

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    02 Jul 2026

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    Shane Hollander is Hollywood's sweetheart, an up and coming actor with all the fame and fortune that comes with it.

    After six months off, Ilya's just looking for a security gig where he won't get shot at for once.

    They're both in over their heads.

    *The Bodyguard AU*

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    01 Jul 2026

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    Sasha has seen plenty of pictures of Ilya’s husband of course, on Ilya and Sveta’s socials, and in the media. He is, unfairly, even more attractive in person, though he holds himself just as awkwardly as he does in photos.

    “Very pretty,” Sasha says. “You know it’s not usually my preference, but I’d fuck him.”

    “Careful, Sasha,” Ilya says.

    “You used to be happy to share,” Sasha tells him. “Are you worried he would be up for it? Green isn’t a good colour on you, Ilyusha.”

    ---

    Or, five times Shane and Ilya show jealousy in front of others, and one time they keep it between themselves.

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    30 Jun 2026