Ladyriadastardly



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    For as long as Frodo could remember, his beloved Uncle Bilbo was known around the Shire for his shocking habit of disappearing for long periods of time. Bilbo never told anybody where he was going or when he expected to be back, and didn't seem to care what other people thought of such disrespectable inconstancy.

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    09 Dec 2025

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Hobbits had many secrets, perhaps as many as the dwarfs. But no one knew about hobbit secrets, so no one went looking for them. When Dwalin had told Bilbo of the deepest secret of dwarrow children, Bilbo had kept the deepest secret of hobbit children behind his teeth.

    Note: This story is a series of vignettes and ideas. I'll probably never finish them all, but the last chapter includes a summary of what all I might have thrown in.

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    09 Dec 2025

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    There are several things that the dwarves don't know about the hobbit that is traveling with them. Things that Bilbo is glad to let them find out for themselves along the way.

    The first is that he's prepared for anything. His mother used to quiz him about what he'd do in any situation - from relatives to trolls - and Bilbo never disappointed her with his answers. Riding a pony all day gives him plenty of time to plan for everything.

    The second is that he can throw a stone or any other small object hard enough to embed it several inches into a tree trunk. His accuracy is uncanny even by Shire standards. He's quite proud of it.

    The third is that he doesn't actually say so many proverbs when at home but it seems to annoy the dwarves so he spends time thinking up all the ones he's heard before.

    And last, hobbits scold like it is no one's business. The Dwarves he's traveling with really have no idea what will happen if they truly piss him off.

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    09 Dec 2025

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    "My name was Julian Alfred Pankratz. I was the Viscount's youngest son."

    Like he hoped, the Warlord hones in on one thing. "Was."

    "Pretty sure getting arrested for treason against Emhyr var Emeris, the mighty White Flame is enough to get me officially disinherited. Especially considering my parents turned me in themselves."

    Jaskier saves the Warlord's daughter. Despite his family ties, he's allowed to stay in Kaer Morhen while he recovers from his injuries. Eventually, it becomes home.

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    09 Dec 2025

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    The plan is this:

    He will note all the things that annoy Geralt, and he will stop doing them, and then Geralt will want him around.

    It will work. It has to work, because Jaskier cannot be left behind.

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    09 Dec 2025