Malaphorical_Oracle



Recent works

Recent series

  1. Summary

    Past Storyline - A Chapter of Accidents
    It is the final year at Hogwarts University of Expressive Arts. The Black brothers haven't spoken for three years despite constantly being forced into classes together. They are both too stubborn to fix it until James Potter is paired with Regulus on an assignment and promptly falls in love.

     

    Present Storyline - Black Mood & Blue Funk
    It has been 5 years since university. The Marauders are wildly famous, and Regulus is in Vienna for an apprenticeship. James misses Regulus, who absolutely DOES NOT under any circumstance miss him back, no sir. Shit hits the fan and Regulus comes back to London, becoming a newly famous musician and once again facing his brother and their fucked up relationship.

    Words:
    273,304
    Works:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    2

Recent bookmarks

  1. Public Bookmark 83

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    Summary

    James opens his eyes, and spots Regulus across the floor. He freezes too, and suddenly the tension is back, crackling through the room like a live wire waiting to be dropped in a pool of water.
    They wind through the crowd and, without an audible word, Regulus’ hands find themselves wound around James’ shoulders, as the fireman catches his waist and pulls him closer.
    “You look delicious.” James says into his ear, curving his head down to whisper against Regulus’ neck. “Ready to let me take a bite?”
    ___

    Or. Regulus gets stuck in an elevator with his brother. The pair of firefighters that rescue them are REALLY hot, so obviously they ask them both on a double date. Sirius and Remus start dating immediately. But Regulus and James have to make things more difficult for themselves and everyone else by rage baiting each other into making the first move.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,710
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    57
    Kudos:
    516
    Bookmarks:
    83
    Hits:
    4,543

    07 Jan 2026

  2. Public Bookmark 39

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    Summary

    James and Regulus break a chair (yes - exactly how you're imagining) and go shopping in IKEA

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,801
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    458
    Bookmarks:
    39
    Hits:
    4,893

    07 Jan 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    James Potter is a perpetually single professional footballer, who has a mild obsession with a model influencer RAB. After being convinced by his best friend and roommate (Remus) he finally decides to DM the beautiful man.

    Regulus Black knows nothing about football, but suddenly becomes very interested in a particular footballer who's opening dm is a 200 word paragraph of nonsensical rambling and about ten different adjectives to describe Regulus' looks.

    James talks way too much for most people, and Regulus never talks enough. Together they just work. Until months of online flirting (and a little bit of phone sex) turns into intense pining and neither of them knowing how to make the next step and just get on a damn plane to see each other.
    ~
    Or. professional english footballer James x French Model influencer Regulus being cute and awkward with some intense phone sex thrown in for fun.
    Based on the song 'Sugar Talking' by Sabrina Carpenter

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,019
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    91
    Kudos:
    879
    Bookmarks:
    137
    Hits:
    9,510

    07 Jan 2026

  4. Public Bookmark 48

    Tags
    Summary

    A lost bet makes Regulus Black to serve James Potter tea in a silk dress and stockings. What starts as a stupid joke turns into years of pining and tension finally boiling over.

    Or

    Regulus Black is so fucking pretty in a dress and James Potter is in love with him and has approximately zero self control.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,270
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    199
    Bookmarks:
    48
    Hits:
    4,653

    06 Jan 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “Welcome to the Knight Bus, emergency transport for the stranded witch or wizard,” came the cheery voice of the conductor, Stan Shunpike, who blinked at Regulus with wide, startled eyes. “Blimey, mate, you look like—”

    “The Potter’s house,” Regulus rasped, his voice hoarse and trembling. He shoved a handful of Sickles into Stan’s hand before collapsing onto the nearest seat.

    Stan stared for a moment but said nothing. The bus jolted into motion, sending Regulus sprawling against the window. He didn’t care. The world outside blurred into streaks of color, and for the first time in hours, days, fucking weeks he allowed himself to breathe.

    The pain throbbed with each beat of his heart, but he ignored it. He pressed his forehead against the cool glass, his gray eyes vacant as he stared at the night rushing past. The Potters. He was going to the Potters.

    To Sirius.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    297,754
    Chapters:
    25/25
    Comments:
    284
    Kudos:
    836
    Bookmarks:
    328
    Hits:
    53,448

    06 Jan 2026