Mr_Customs_Man
Fandoms
- Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling (43)
- Dragon Age - All Media Types (21)
- Dragon Age II (10)
- Dragon Age: Inquisition (9)
- Good Omens (TV) (8)
Recent works
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Summary
Julian is going to figure out how to have sex with Garak even if it's the last thing he ever does.
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Summary
Wyll Ravengard has read a lot of romances. He knows how this story goes: the beautiful, consumptive courtesan falls in love with an idealistic man who wants to rescue her from her lot in life, only to die of the disease before they can wed.
Wyll has read a lot of romances. He knows the signs. Astarion's deathly white pallor, his thin frame, the specks of blood lingering on his lips. Astarion, like Mimi, like Marguerite Guatier, is dying of consumption. Any romance between them is already doomed.
Or, Wyll is genre savvy. Too bad it's the wrong genre. He thinks he's the hero of a gothic romance, but he's really found himself in a gothic horror.
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Severus Snape returns home a changed man after spending two years abroad studying for his mastery, and catches the eye of Sirius Black. There has always been something between the two of them and Sirius is now determined to woo and win Severus. But he has another competitor-- his own brother, Regulus.
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For as long as Harry could remember, his family had guarded the Prince in the Tower. Hair as black as ebony, skin as pale as snow, he had slept in that tower for twenty years-- the victim of a terrible curse. Harry waits for the moment when the curse will break and the Prince to open his eyes.
Severus Snape returns home after his fifth year at Hogwarts, only to walk into a trap laid by Tobias. Severus is left comatose and placed in a special ward in St Mungo's, a ward where time flows differently. For twenty years, Severus is trapped inside his own mind, his body never aging, and then--
He wakes up.
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Harry Potter was supposed to be dead. He had seen the Killing Curse come straight towards him, seen it pierce his chest. But instead of dying, he woke up in a dirty alley with a black-haired, dark-eyed little boy standing over him.
Recent series
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Summary
A collection of smutty one-shots exploring the romance between Liam Evans and Severus Snape.
- Words:
- 7,254
- Works:
- 5
- Bookmarks:
- 78
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Peter Pettigrew, with his years of knowledge on the Weasley family, infiltrates the Ministry by impersonating Percy. The real Percy is held hostage by Death Eaters and his experiences leave scars- both physical and mental.
- Words:
- 6,590
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 149
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Snape's cover is blown. He is exposed as a spy. He knows he cannot stay at Hogwarts, not while he's being hunted by Death Eaters, but Harry is about to start school and he has a vow to fulfill.
Which leads him to agreeing to one of Dumbledore's harebrained schemes. Fake his death, de-age his body, and enter Hogwarts as a first year, all so he can protect Harry Potter.
- Words:
- 60,379
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 192
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- Words:
- 43,508
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 107
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Summary
Snily, but gay.
- Words:
- 3,328
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 45
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
In which Astarion conceals a number of serious injuries until well into the Shadowcursed lands, at which point he chooses to make all of them Wyll's problem.
Or: Astarion is shroomed thrice (but the third time is a lie.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 14,460
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 84
- Kudos:
- 496
- Bookmarks:
- 157
- Hits:
- 3,388
Bookmarked by Mr_Customs_Man
30 Aug 2025
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you miss 100% of the hot statues you don't kiss by not_whelmed_yet for Winifred0817
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
04 Apr 2025
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Summary
In the early hours of the morning, with the greys of night swelling into blues and pink and golden dawn, a vampire climbed through one of the broken windows to hide at Wyll’s feet.
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Wyll is a statue. Astarion is a vampire seeking a place to hide from the sun...and maybe something more.
Bookmarked by Mr_Customs_Man
23 Aug 2025
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Under the Shade of Another Oak by GhostInTheClawMachine
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
31 Jul 2025
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Summary
Halsin had stepped valiantly into a portal that blinked out of existence when their party was overwhelmed in combat. They hadn’t been close all those years ago, but Halsin had been the first to die, and Astarion would be the last as he was always destined to be. There was something meaningful in that.
Immortality leaves one with rather a lot of years to keep track of. 150 years since saving the realm. 146 years since marrying Wyll. 79 years since becoming a widow. 13 years since the last of his former companions passed on without him.
Of all the things Astarion has suffered in his long life, the one blow he's no longer capable of weathering is suffering all on his own. When he finds his way to the Shadow-Cursed lands in search of place to waste away in peace, the last thing he expects to find is a kindred spirit in similar need of healing.
Bookmarked by Mr_Customs_Man
31 Jul 2025
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Summary
After being abandoned by both Tav and the sunlight, Astarion makes a poorly thought out wish to Djinni and finds himself in the body of a toddler. Even though he’s (mostly) mentally sound, his new situation forces him to rely on his former traveling companions until he can find a way back to his old self. That is, assuming it’s even possible.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 60,074
- Chapters:
- 35/35
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 231
- Kudos:
- 476
- Bookmarks:
- 137
- Hits:
- 8,910
Bookmarked by Mr_Customs_Man
27 May 2025
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Summary
During what was supposed to be a minor skirmish, Dorian takes damage from a suspicious Tevinter blood mage. At first, he thinks of little other than his wounded pride but it quickly becomes apparent that something is terribly wrong. He quickly falls into a death-like sleep, leaving the Iron Bull and his other friends scrambling to make things right before he fades away.
Written for a kink meme prompt~!
Bookmarked by Mr_Customs_Man
26 Jul 2024