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Summary
Hermione Granger is supposed to be focused on her thesis, not losing her mind over a mysterious tattooed Instagram biker with too many thirsty fans.
Draco Malfoy is supposed to be normal, just another student at UCL. Definitely not running said anonymous account.But between chaotic study sessions, late-night rides, and the Chaos Coven cheering from the sidelines, keeping secrets gets complicated. Especially when blurry selfies, cryptic captions, and way too much sexual tension start blurring the line between online mystery and real-life romance.
A social media AU full of banter, slow-burn tension, and more caffeine than anyone should legally consume.
Bookmarked by Nightreader24
02 Apr 2026
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Draco Malfoy has feelings.
Big feelings that he doesn't know to do with.And then,
Draco Lucius Malfoy died.
Spontaneous combustion his headstone will read.
Much loved friend, son and simp.16 months after the war, everyone returns to Hogwarts to complete their eighth year.
Drowning in feeling, drugs and embarrassing moments, Draco hopes he can erase the memories of the past and catch the eye of the Golden Girl.
All without making a fool of himself.
Merlins saggy left tit, he had his work cut out.Bookmarked by Nightreader24
30 Mar 2026
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When Hermione is whisked out of the country to Pansy’s bachelorette party, Harry and Ron adamantly refuse to watch Crookshanks for the weekend. Seeing his damsel in distress, Draco volunteers despite the warnings of half-kneazle’s predisposition towards violence.
After all, they say the fastest way to woo a witch is first to win the affections of her furry familiar.
✧⋅A Dramione Text Fic⋅✧
Bookmarked by Nightreader24
30 Mar 2026
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“In my humble opinion there’s only three things that men should be and that is bloody, slutty, and pathetic.” And, on a good day, Draco Malfoy can be all three.
When war heroine Hermione Granger and Azkaban-tattooed war criminal Draco Malfoy are forced to wed as part of Shacklebolt’s controversial Reconciliation Act, they openly fight the match and each other—their public brawls breathlessly reported by the press.
Secretly, a deeply traumatized Draco delights in Hermione’s attention and pines for a real marriage with her—even as her forced proximity to the Black family magic irritates the cursed scar Bellatrix left on her arm, reminding her why she can never truly trust or forgive him. Then Hermione discovers that Draco’s blood will soothe the scar . . . and Draco is willing to trade his blood for her body.
(With post-war blood purity politics, black market potioneers, Pansy Parkinson’s career advice, the Malfoys blackmailing Hermione’s Wizengamot opposition, BDE Neville Longbottom hunting Death Eaters, a slutty Theo Nott serving as Draco’s right-hand man, and Crookshanks loose in Malfoy Manor.)
Series
- Part 1 of THE BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC SERIES
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 195,969
- Chapters:
- 21/21
- Comments:
- 7,419
- Kudos:
- 30,468
- Bookmarks:
- 12,097
- Hits:
- 1,834,345
Bookmarked by Nightreader24
18 Jan 2026
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Wreck a Malfoy by Ramelle_Kammae
Fandom Dramione - Fandom, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy - Fandom
03 Nov 2025
- Words:
- 299,308
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 29
Bookmarked by Nightreader24
19 Dec 2025
