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I Cant Be This Protagonist by Beware_ofPeoplewithSurnameQin
Fandoms: 백작가의 망나니가 되었다 - 유려한 | Lout of Count's Family | Trash of the Count's Family - Yulyeohan
24 Apr 2026
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Summary
Cale Henituse is an old veteran of the Transmigration Bureau. Once he finishes one last book, he’ll be able to make a lump-sum withdrawal of the pension he’s accumulated across various books and live a happily retired life.
There’s good news once he enters the book — He’s the protagonist.
Bad news? — He’s the protagonist of an angsty, dog blood novel.
Before him lay five highly toxic relationship plotlines with the same shou but different gongs.
Scum Gong 1: Master-servant contract with physical and mental abuse aplenty
Scum Gong 2: Carving out one of your kidneys for the white moonlight
Scum Gong 3: Brainwashing/reconditioning shame play
Scum Gong 4: You’re nice but unfortunately not clean enough
Scum Gong 5: Save him and I can marry you
Cale: He’s eager to retire already, hurry up ba
#A lighthearted comedy, not angsty at all (lie)
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Summary
One summer day, he sees Voldemort on his neighbor's roof. And it all came crashing down.
Armed with a stabbed diary that oddly brings him comfort and a ring that feels important, Harry is ill-equipped for the summer ahead.
On his neighbour’s roof, staring directly at him, was Voldemort.
It would be comical if it wasn’t for the struggling muggle teen in his grasp.
Mockingly, Voldemort held up a scrap of parchment. ‘Surrender yourself, or the muggle perishes.’
Harry ducked away from the glass and got his writing supplies out. He held the parchment to the wall as he wrote, with a quill this time.
‘I don’t negotiate with terrorists. I’m going back to bed.’
He wiggled it into the corner and left the sight of the window. There was a strangled scream he tried to block out. In bed, he piled his blanket over his ears. Bottom of the line, he needed sleep.
And who was he to intervene? Every damned time he did, the person ended up dead or injured. Cedric, Sirius, and countless other friends had suffered under his supervision.
Harry was done playing saviour.