Peggy2222
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Ed crossed his arms over his chest and shrugged, casual. “It’s just bodies, Stede. They’re weird. They do stuff sometimes.”
Stede peered up at him cautiously. “Yeah?”
“What, you think you’re the first person who’s ever gotten a boner during a physical?” Ed scoffed. “Hate to break it to you, but you’re not special.”
Granted, no one Ed had treated had ever had an orgasm while Ed’s finger was still inside them but that was neither here nor there.
**
Stede comes in for his annual prostate exam. Things do not go as planned.
Based on that tweet that's like "if y'all having a bad day just letting y'all know my co-worker got his prostate exam and when the doc touched his prostate he nutted immediately and fell down knocking over some equipment"
Bookmarked by Peggy2222
17 Apr 2026
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Stede hadn’t provided a lot of details on the phone. He’d sounded a bit damp and breathless to Ed’s ear—trained as it was in all the various shifts and intonations of Stede Bonnet’s vocal range. Like he was trying not to cry, or else he had been crying and only just barely gotten it under control—and didn’t that inspire a white hot desire for violence? But Stede didn’t volunteer any explanation, just said his date had been cut short, and would Ed perhaps be interested in a movie night—if he wasn’t already busy, and no worries at all if he was.
That settled it. Ed was going to have to kill someone, wasn’t he?**
After a break up, Stede comes over to his best buddy Ed's house for a movie night. Is tonight the night that Ed finally tells him how he feels? Maybe, but expect 9,000 words of panic attack first.
Bookmarked by Peggy2222
02 Apr 2026
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Ask anyone: Edward Teach is the greatest pro surfer in the world. Or, he was. Now he’s retired, and burnt out, and okay maybe possibly dealing with a bit of untreated clinical depression. He hasn’t stepped foot in the water in almost two years—can’t even bring himself to go for a dip in the private pool at his fancy apartment complex, although not for lack of trying. Enter: Stede Bonnet. Also known as Pool DILF. Also also known as the love of Ed’s life. And love makes us do crazy things. Like maybe pretending you don’t know how to swim so your crush will offer to teach you.
What could go wrong?
A Reverse Big Bang collab with Sailor's Ruin!
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Bookmarked by Peggy2222
29 Mar 2026
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I've got a blank space baby (and I'll write your name) by serpent_and_dahlia
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
18 Dec 2024
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The ritual went like this: Days 0 - 6 following a break up, Ed was allowed to mope in a blanket fort or other cozy, bed-rotting receptacle of his choosing. He could eat junk food and watch sad movies and refuse to shower.
But, and this was imperative: he had to exit the blanket fort by Day 7. If he allowed himself to rot any longer than six days—he’d learned from hard experience—mourning would quickly morph into self-loathing and a full depressive episode that might last months.
So, on Day 7, he would exit the fort. Put on his sluttiest outfit. And find someone to fuck.
Blank slate. Getting over someone by getting under someone else. Tale as old as time.
**
Edward Teach is an expert at breakups—he should be, he's gone through enough of them over the years. He has a whole ritual for getting over someone. But nothing could have prepared him for Stede Bonnet.
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Bookmarked by Peggy2222
28 Mar 2026
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kiss me in the dark while my lips are numb by This_Will_Be_Our_Year
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
06 Aug 2024
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Ed opens his eyes and lifts his head back up. Lucius is standing in the entryway looking judgy as fuck, of course, but there’s another man beside him. He’s about their age, a little nervous, definitely tired – blond curls falling over his eyes, hands buried deep in his pockets. He’s wearing a plaid button down, tucked into his jeans no less. God, what a fucking nerd. Maybe it’s the punch, but Ed’s kind of obsessed with him.
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Ed and Stede are into each other the second they meet, but it takes a few more encounters to figure out it's more than casual.
Bookmarked by Peggy2222
18 Mar 2026