SevenCorvus
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Don't Fuck With Florists (They'll Fuck You Up) by MayMarlow
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
14 Aug 2016
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Summary
Unsatisfied with his post-war life, Harry decides to get to the root of all of his problems when that root was still working at Borgin and Burkes shop in the late 40s. He’s the Master of Death, damn it, he can do what he wants for once in his life.
Tom Riddle isn’t particularly happy about working at a small, dingy shop for magical artifacts, no matter how interesting those artifacts are. He’s even less happy when an insufferable stranger sets up the most obnoxious flower shop right across the street.
What follows would be a romantic comedy, if it weren’t for politics.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,944
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 109
- Comments:
- 936
- Kudos:
- 40,206
- Bookmarks:
- 8,284
- Hits:
- 340,771
Bookmarked by SevenCorvus
03 Nov 2025
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Harry Potter really didn’t plan on living past his fated confrontation with Lord Voldemort. When the latent basilisk venom and phoenix tears in his blood started making dramatic changes to his body, he wasn’t that concerned. It’s not like he was going to live long enough for it to be a problem anyway.
Even if he had planned to live past the final battle, then he could never have guessed the struggle awaiting him on the other side, or that he’d become a magnet for those with nowhere else to go like the snarky house elf, the grumpy phoenix, the injured vampire, or the stray werewolf that showed up on their doorstep…oh, and the egg. You can’t forget the egg; that’s the most important, more than anyone or anything else on the planet. Harry will do whatever it takes…literally whatever, even light the fire and watch the world burn, all for the sake of the egg.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 169,720
- Chapters:
- 28/28
- Collections:
- 43
- Comments:
- 1,373
- Kudos:
- 11,875
- Bookmarks:
- 3,707
- Hits:
- 294,255
Bookmarked by SevenCorvus
01 Nov 2025
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After an unexpected birthday surprise, Harry Potter finds himself suddenly very different from what he was just a day before, and somehow taking care of a baby in need. However, his short and painful life has taught him that no one is safe around Harry Potter. So, how else can be protect this innocent baby but to kill off Harry Potter and become someone new. And, who best to help him than the one person who would really like him to not be James Potter's son...Severus Snape.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 120,310
- Chapters:
- 27/27
- Collections:
- 32
- Comments:
- 1,116
- Kudos:
- 9,151
- Bookmarks:
- 2,914
- Hits:
- 194,676
Bookmarked by SevenCorvus
31 Oct 2025
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"Ignore the dementor; really, it's fine. There are no monsters here. It's just me…Harry."
When things go very wrong before his fifth year, Harry Potter tries to pretend everything is normal…while also taking care of his Harry-suit so that it stays healthy and alive and learning to rein in his new powers, yeah everything is definitely normal.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 128,445
- Chapters:
- 26/26
- Collections:
- 47
- Comments:
- 611
- Kudos:
- 7,006
- Bookmarks:
- 2,527
- Hits:
- 157,212
Bookmarked by SevenCorvus
29 Oct 2025
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Summary
Harry Potter has never been normal. Even before he was born, he was a child of prophecy. So no part of his life could be called normal in the slightest. When given the chance to have a 'normal' life, does he even know what that means? No, he's gone through too much to even try, and he's too tired to care. It's too bad everyone expects him to be the upstanding son and heir of the Potter family when he's never had family before in his life though.
Also, the baby is a little difficult to explain. The baby who may eventually turn into Lord Voldemort...no, nature vs. nurture and all, and Harry plans to nurture the hell out of this kid.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 187,804
- Chapters:
- 28/35
- Collections:
- 20
- Comments:
- 3,258
- Kudos:
- 5,512
- Bookmarks:
- 1,769
- Hits:
- 165,865
Bookmarked by SevenCorvus
29 Oct 2025