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  1. Tags
    Summary

    He froze when he saw the caller ID.

    ‘Wrld’s Sexiest Sekretary (Stols Wurk Fone)’

    And Satan’s Taint was he fuckin’ whipped because he answered the damn phone immediately.

    Donning the most convincing casual voice anyone ever conjured that was absolutely convincing and not strained at all, he said, “Heeeeeey, Stolaaas! How’s it going?”

    “Um, hello,” Stolas’ nervous, soft voice came from the other end, and Blitz had to stomp the lightness in his chest right the fuck back down, first and foremost because it was lame, and secondly because they were currently in a vicious firefight.

    ———----------------
    Title changed because it started as a bunch of oneshots but now it has a plot lol.

    Basically just my brain running rampant on things that could theoretically happen in season 3

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    42,536
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Comments:
    109
    Kudos:
    334
    Bookmarks:
    74
    Hits:
    6,261
  2. Tags
    Summary

    “Mystra, Gortash, the gods damned Heart of the Gate! Does anyone ELSE have any insanely powerful, evil ex-lovers we should know about?!”

    -----------

    Spoilers for Dark Urge Route as well as a few act 3 quests.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,473
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    94
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    919
  3. Tags
    Summary

    What was so different about him, she wondered. At first she’d figured it was just because they had, yet again, gone through a death-defying, impossible ordeal together, but it had been a few weeks and now she wasn’t so sure.

    ——-

    Adorkable, oblivious 23ish year olds being so in love

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,582
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    68
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    710
  4. Tags
    Summary

    In a feat of supportive-long-term-partner-ness, I made the herculean effort and resisted the urge to explain to him once more that no one says "make love" in this century and instead went with:

    “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but the sex we have is pretty gay.”

    ---------------------------

    Oliver confronts his Internalized Homophobia... I swear it's sexier than it sounds.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,085
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    189
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    2,667
  5. Tags
    Summary

    “If you want him though, you should go for it.”

    “That’s-!” Thanatos felt his face get hot. “That. Wasn’t really what I was saying.”

    “Wasn’t it?”

    ———-

    Megaera and Thanatos chat about their favorite prince.

    Based off two lines in the game and the conversation I think surrounded them

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,441
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    239
    Bookmarks:
    30
    Hits:
    1,837
  6. Tags
    Summary

    “You bought a house?”

    “Actually, I bought the land. I built the house.”

    ———————-
    Totk spoilers.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,153
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    647
    Bookmarks:
    74
    Hits:
    5,440
  7. Tags
    Summary

    How strange, she realizes, to have normal worries.

    ———-

    Between BotW and TotK, Zelda tries to learn how to pace herself. It doesn’t always work out, but luckily Link is there.

    This is just cute fluff that’s vaguely about trauma processing, come on in the water in the well is fine

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,835
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    240
    Bookmarks:
    21
    Hits:
    2,027
  8. Tags
    Summary

    “Than,” That damnable smirk. “Are you saying you were turned on?”

    “Don’t make fun of me.” The embarrassment in his chest was only tinted more red-hot by the indignace that now joined it.

    Zagreus was oblivious to his misery. “Gods, I love it when you blush like that.”

    Thanatos could feel it, the gold prickle through his cheeks, stretching up practically to his ears. No matter what Zagreus said, it did not make him feel attractive. “You mock me.”

    “I would never,” came Zagreus’ immediate and sincere reply. Then, turning so that he could lean into Than’s space, “Tell me what you’d like.”

    ---------------

    aka - communication and trying new things!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,940
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    768
    Bookmarks:
    78
    Hits:
    8,595
  9. Tags
    Summary

    “What’s gotten into you today?” he asked. “I thought you didn’t like weddings.”

    “It’s your own damn fault for looking like that.” Felix’s tone implied that he’d deemed this particular sin a punishable offense, and Sylvain shivered.

    “I’ve looked like this for hours now,” he protested weakly.

    “Well I couldn’t exactly tell you to get on your knees in the middle of the ceremony, now could I?”

    “I mean, not like I don’t have an exhibitionism streak…”

    —————-

    One shot collection

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,076
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    84
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    1,202
  10. Tags
    Summary

    “You never take me anywhere!” Ferdinand groaned. 

    “We are engaged in a clandestine war with an unseen force of untold power that forces us to keep our very relationship a secret from absolutely everyone, no I do not TAKE YOU anywhere.”

    -------------

    Welcome to Fluff n Smut, Established Committed Relationships, and Character Growth, we love to see it!
    Post Crimson Flower Route

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,546
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    104
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    1,091
  11. Tags
    Summary

    “I do wish you wouldn’t say it like that.”

    “Like what?”

    He leaned in closer, pressing more of his weight against Hubert’s body as though he intended to anchor his errant soul back to its mortal vessel. Hubert watched in awe as copper hair fell over a bare, freckled shoulder. “As though you are terrified to confess it. Not every sentiment is material for blackmail, Hubert.”

    "You are mistaken," he wants to say.

    ------------

    A Triptych about choosing love. Post Time-Skip.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,801
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    405
    Bookmarks:
    39
    Hits:
    5,987
  12. Tags
    Summary

    “O Radagon.” She begins to walk toward him in a slow, inexorable saunter. He sees her coming as though he were a ship who saw the rocks too late and is waiting the few horrible moments before it runs aground.

    She stops directly in front of the grandiose bed and pivots to face him.

    “Leal hound of the Golden Order,” The resonance in her voice shimmers like gold itself. “Thou'rt yet to become me. Thou'rt yet to become a god. Let us be shattered, both. Mine other self.”

    -----------------

    Aka: you know how you get that line above from Melina in the bedchambers after you defeat Morgott? Well it got me thinking about how that plays out.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,114
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    72
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    1,546
  13. Tags
    Summary

    “You want me to move out of my room?”

    “No, you daft fool,” snapped Hades, finally looking up from his parchment work to slam a fist on the desk. He glowered down at Zagreus and continued. “I am saying that if you must monopolize the time of my employees, do so in a secluded area for darkness’ sake. And do it during off-hours!”

    “What are you-?”

    “GET A DOOR, Zagreus.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,502
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    450
    Bookmarks:
    64
    Hits:
    4,312
  14. Tags
    Summary

    “We don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with,” he interjected before Than could say anything. “I know you said I didn’t need to wait for anything but, if you did want to wait for, some things, that’s okay, I meant what I said-”

    “Zagreus.” Thanatos blessedly cut off his babbling. “I showed up in your bedroom. I was hoping this would happen.” He said it so casually in his typical deadpan, but with a mischievous smile that sent his head spinning. Zagreus felt a shock run through his system so electric that he briefly wondered if Zeus had somehow bestowed a boon upon him when he wasn’t looking.

    “Oh…” he said, stupidly, before collecting himself. “Well then.”

    -----

    It's the scene after the "what are you waiting for" line woohoo!

    I swear I write things other than smut (I might be lying)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,154
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    613
    Bookmarks:
    75
    Hits:
    6,870
  15. Tags
    Summary

    It is in the middle of this, lost in the passion of our movement and these whispered affections, that Odysseus arrives.

    ——————————
    Excursus: a delay, or interruption.

    Aka, “they’re in love and just want to be left alone but there’s a war”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,144
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    38
    Kudos:
    488
    Bookmarks:
    57
    Hits:
    8,572
  16. Tags
    Summary

    “You must teach me how to fight.”

    His eyes snapped open, brilliant green staring up at me with confusion from where his head rested on my lap. “You hate to fight.”

    I nodded. “But if I must, if I am called to do so... I will not be a hindrance. To you or the rest of the Myrmidons.”

    ----------------------------------------

    Patroclus never wanted to be a soldier. But he wanted to help.

    (Aka, my one major gripe with this book is that Patroclus isn’t a warrior in the story like he is in the Iliad so I wrote a thing where he learns to be a warrior)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,008
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    227
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    1,821
  17. Tags
    Summary

    “I…” Hubert felt as though he might faint from sheer panic. However, something was beginning to mingle with that panic; something familiar. He tried to remain composed. “You are always so wonderfully gentle.” 

    Ferdinand nodded and waited patiently.

    “I sometimes think… what it would be like if you were not.”

    -------------------
    Hubert asks Ferdinand to tie him up, with spectacular results.
    We require communication and respect in this HOUSE YALL
    (listen it's just smut, welcome!)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,008
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    289
    Bookmarks:
    23
    Hits:
    2,771
  18. Tags
    Summary

    “Come on, Hubie. It’s just us here. I know you’re in love with Edie. Can’t blame you, she’s pretty stinking cute. Unfortunately you’re one of many in line, you poor dear-“

    “Dorothea, I am a homosexual,” Hubert deadpanned.

    ——

    Dorothea works to solve a mystery. Hubert insists the mystery is not real, until she solves it.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,841
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    375
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    3,507
  19. Tags
    Summary

    “Is that a knife in your pants or are you just excited that I’m here?”

    Felix immediately reached down, and pulled out a dagger. “It’s a knife,” he stated plainly.
     

     

    Mostly Post-time skip. Spoilers for Azure Moon

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,919
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    232
    Bookmarks:
    28
    Hits:
    3,511
  20. Tags
    Summary

    “Is this one of those massages that has a happy ending?”

    “Only if you want it to be.”

     

    Or, "Touch and Acts of Service"
    OR Or, "Here's the raunchy one"

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,646
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    137
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    1,480

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