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when eighteen-year-old, post-war Sakura is thrown back into her tiny, pre-Academy body, she makes a decision. she'd had a childhood once already, and this time, she's more interested in Not Dying when the inevitable shit hits the proverbial fan. so she will work harder, care less, kill more, and smile when she's done.
and hey, if she ends up reviving an extinct nature transformation to attract the most corrupt, power-hungry man from her timeline, all the better for her, right?
Series
- Part 1 of shit happens
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 256,936
- Chapters:
- 35/35
- Comments:
- 4,205
- Kudos:
- 16,958
- Bookmarks:
- 5,190
- Hits:
- 527,926
Bookmarked by Theirrefutablepancake
14 Sep 2025
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The Cursed Seal of Heaven has a very specific purpose—to heighten and aggravate emotions and physical strength. After all, a man obsessed is a man easily manipulated.
And there is no one more obsessive than Sasuke Uchiha.
Orochimaru is counting on the seal to amplify Sasuke’s need for vengeance and power until he comes crawling to Orochimaru on his own, thirsting for the knowledge to defeat his brother.
What Orochimaru didn’t count on, was that Sasuke Uchiha had become just as obsessed with mother-henning his own teammates.
Something Naruto, Sakura, and Kakashi are finding out the hard way.
Essentially, as soon as Sasuke wakes up after the invasion, he panics, kidnaps his teammates from the hospital, and locks them away in his apartment.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,460
- Chapters:
- 13/13
- Comments:
- 527
- Kudos:
- 6,461
- Bookmarks:
- 1,664
- Hits:
- 57,794
Bookmarked by Theirrefutablepancake
14 Sep 2025
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Summary
Shinobi seem to harbour this bizarre impression that civilians are somehow... soft.
Sakura aims to disabuse them of this notion.
(The one where Sakura is a farmer's daughter, and knows better than most the value of hard work and, more importantly, the importance of co-existence within an ecosystem.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 14,101
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 44
- Comments:
- 492
- Kudos:
- 8,699
- Bookmarks:
- 2,906
- Hits:
- 85,556
Bookmarked by Theirrefutablepancake
13 Sep 2025
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Adoption by Defenestration; or, A Family Can Be A Fox Demon, Its Jinchuuriki, and Three Dozen Highly-Trained Assassins by elumish
Fandoms: Naruto
02 Sep 2018
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Summary
He will not be the ANBU who let the jinchuuriki plummet to his death out a fourth story window. Let that be another ANBU’s legacy.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,895
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 58
- Comments:
- 630
- Kudos:
- 25,406
- Bookmarks:
- 7,932
- Hits:
- 195,209
Bookmarked by Theirrefutablepancake
13 Sep 2025
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When Naruto is kidnapped from his orphanage at age three, Kakashi is so done with this shit. He gets Naruto back, tells the Hokage where to go (politely, because he isn't suicidal), and raises the boy himself. Or, you know, tries and is proud when there aren't too many explosions.
Then everybody starts to copy him and it's a whole thing.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 84,985
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Collections:
- 23
- Comments:
- 1,244
- Kudos:
- 14,634
- Bookmarks:
- 4,887
- Hits:
- 367,655
Bookmarked by Theirrefutablepancake
13 Sep 2025
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Summary
In his sixth year, Kakashi receives a message and a gift. It's a meagre, trifling thing. It's also a miracle, a blessing, a privilege.
It's a fucking burden, is what it is.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 163,216
- Chapters:
- 28/?
- Comments:
- 907
- Kudos:
- 1,404
- Bookmarks:
- 520
- Hits:
- 36,520
Bookmarked by Theirrefutablepancake
13 Sep 2025
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Just because Yuuri isn't big on social media, doesn't mean his fans aren't.
(aka a social media fic)
(( Russian translation by Neer
Chinese translation by JulianTurnin
PODFIC by Opalsong and various ))- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,744
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Collections:
- 15
- Comments:
- 1,082
- Kudos:
- 15,597
- Bookmarks:
- 3,877
- Hits:
- 190,911
Bookmarked by Theirrefutablepancake
01 Sep 2025
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Summary
Someone else decides to fly to Hasetsu once they see the video of Yuuri performing Stammi Vicino.
Things go a little differently.
Yakov Feltsman never knew what hit him.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 114,074
- Chapters:
- 92/92
- Collections:
- 6
- Comments:
- 2,243
- Kudos:
- 3,694
- Bookmarks:
- 1,209
- Hits:
- 119,298
Bookmarked by Theirrefutablepancake
01 Sep 2025
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Summary
“Yuuri!” Phichit cries. “I know you have this weird insomnia thing, but for the love of god, get some sleep. Or at least turn the phone down. I know it’s after midnight there.”
“Holy shit, Phichit,” says Yuuri. “Yakov Feltsman wants to coach me.”
“Holy shit,” Phichit agrees, wide eyed.
(Or: Vicchan lives and fate is a funny thing.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 16,144
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 10
- Comments:
- 107
- Kudos:
- 5,409
- Bookmarks:
- 1,335
- Hits:
- 50,339
Bookmarked by Theirrefutablepancake
01 Sep 2025
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Summary
v-nikiforov ✓
[Video: A short clip where Victor is laying dramatically on the couch with miserable expression. “Heartbreaker” by Marina and the Diamonds is playing.]
13,481 likes
v-nikiforov✓ Am I the another one? (((
vitYASS victor,,,, honey,,,, i lvoe you so much,,,, but WHY are you like this.
red-blue-gay but??? does that mean that somebody has broken victor’s heart???? I DON'T UNDERSTAND
christophe-gc ✓ You’re ridiculous.
starsaregay But who recorded it?? Makkachin???
vityathebabe user @starsaregay asking the real question.
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The adventures of Yuuri "Heartbreaker" Katsuki, or: how Yuuri became known as a cold player full of himself who doesn't care about anyone. (Hint: it's an anxiety and obliviousness.)- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,021
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 15
- Comments:
- 274
- Kudos:
- 8,393
- Bookmarks:
- 1,838
- Hits:
- 65,460
Bookmarked by Theirrefutablepancake
31 Aug 2025
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Summary
The weekend of last year’s Rostelecom cup, Yuuri Katsuki declared his love for fried pork in a press conference, got caught by paparazzi rescuing a dog from a river, revealed a short program costume that showed off his multitude of soulmate marks, and broke Viktor’s world record. All while being, objectively, the cutest human being on the planet.
The entire skating world–– including Viktor–– fell in love instantly.
Or: a soulmate au where the first time you touch your soulmate(s), colored marks appear on your skin. Yuuri has more marks than Viktor’s ever seen on someone. Viktor has none.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 15,456
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 11
- Comments:
- 214
- Kudos:
- 5,212
- Bookmarks:
- 1,581
- Hits:
- 42,195
Bookmarked by Theirrefutablepancake
31 Aug 2025
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Summary
“I’m a garbage monster,” Yuuri tells Phichit, staring at Viktor through the glass walls of the lab. Viktor has not been in the same room with him since what the denizens of the lab are now calling The Belle Isle Incident. “He looks at me and he thinks dumpster decomp and swamp. I hate my life.”
“You’re a very pretty garbage monster,” says Phichit, watching a centrifuge work. “A garbage monster he wants to fuck.”Yuuri Katsuki is a dime a dozen CSI with the Detroit Crime Lab who has never had a conversation with Detective Viktor Nikiforov that did not end in disaster. He's beginning to think that the entire universe is conspiring to make him a fool in front of handsome blond detectives. The universe is doing nothing to prove him wrong.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,115
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 238
- Kudos:
- 6,006
- Bookmarks:
- 1,578
- Hits:
- 44,478
Bookmarked by Theirrefutablepancake
31 Aug 2025
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Summary
Five years later, Akechi walks back into his life when Akira thought he was gone forever.
They have a lot to talk about, and this time, Akira refuses to let him slip away.
[*All explicit scenes are marked for users that wish to skip them.]
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 83,065
- Chapters:
- 9/9
- Comments:
- 520
- Kudos:
- 3,879
- Bookmarks:
- 705
- Hits:
- 115,407
Bookmarked by Theirrefutablepancake
09 Aug 2025
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Summary
The thing about having given your heart, your service, and most of your soul to your country, Soujiro thought, mouthing at an unlit cigarette as he sat uselessly by Akira's bedside for the second night in a row, watching that the kid kept breathing through his concussion... The thing was, you either broke, or you learned to appreciate the simpler things in life. Fine coffee. Fresh curry. Regular customers.
Old friends.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,837
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 88
- Kudos:
- 3,142
- Bookmarks:
- 788
- Hits:
- 25,404
Bookmarked by Theirrefutablepancake
04 Aug 2025
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Summary
When Arsene fails to answer his call, Akira is quick to brush it off. But ace detective Akechi Goro won’t be so easily deceived. Joker's lost access to his own heart, and that can only mean one thing: Kurusu Akira has a Palace.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 23,875
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 350
- Kudos:
- 4,076
- Bookmarks:
- 924
- Hits:
- 48,415
Bookmarked by Theirrefutablepancake
04 Aug 2025
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Summary
0422-XXXX: Hey.
0422-XXXX: It’s the guy from the restaurant this afternoon. I was debating whether or not to send you this message, but I feel it’s only fair I let you know.
0422-XXXX: I’m not interested.
0422-XXXX: I do appreciate you giving me your number, and I’m sure your confidence will treat you well in the future. But I likely won’t contact you any further than this.
0422-XXXX: Best wishes.
akira kurusu: ????????
akira kurusu: excuse me??
akira kurusu: i don’t remember giving anyone my number today????
akira kurusu: or going out, for that matter???
0422-XXXX: I must have the wrong number, then. Apologies for the inconvenience.
akira kurusu: np dude well done on the rejectionakira kurusu: i lied
akira kurusu: that was an awful rejection
0422-XXXX: Excuse me?- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 27,867
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Comments:
- 468
- Kudos:
- 5,562
- Bookmarks:
- 966
- Hits:
- 63,340
Bookmarked by Theirrefutablepancake
03 Aug 2025
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Summary
Akira's determined not to let Akechi die this time. Akira's determined not to let Akechi die this time. Akira's determined not to let Akechi die this time. Akira— well, he'll get it next time for sure.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 77,083
- Chapters:
- 22/22
- Comments:
- 735
- Kudos:
- 6,392
- Bookmarks:
- 1,508
- Hits:
- 99,430
Bookmarked by Theirrefutablepancake
03 Aug 2025
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Summary
blackmask: @Joker do you accept constructive criticism
Joker: Sure, go ahead.
blackmask: you suck at this game
Joker: That’s not constructive criticism.in which Akira is a variety streamer and Akechi is a competitive gamer and both of them are determined to hide that at all costs
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 32,932
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 567
- Kudos:
- 6,327
- Bookmarks:
- 1,455
- Hits:
- 89,169
Bookmarked by Theirrefutablepancake
01 Aug 2025
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Summary
When Ann realizes their math teacher has spotted Akira nodding off in the desk behind hers, she braces herself for what's about to follow. Sure enough, the chalk flies past her and hits Akira smack in the forehead, knocks him awake, and sends a flurry of horrible nightmare syllables tumbling out of his mouth from the sheer surprise.
The language of Shadows sounds sharp and strange in the mundane banality of the classroom. Ann schools her expression, and does her best to project an air of nope, nothing's wrong, nothing to see here, there's definitely no one speaking in horrible eldritch tongues, why would you even say that?
-//-
-//-In which Shadows have a language of their own, and the power of the Wild Card lets Akira speak it too.
It's too bad it makes him sound like he's speaking in some kind of cursed, inhuman, monster tongue, but the rest of the Phantom Thieves get used to it.
Eventually.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,599
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 8
- Comments:
- 183
- Kudos:
- 4,053
- Bookmarks:
- 1,172
- Hits:
- 31,909
Bookmarked by Theirrefutablepancake
30 Jul 2025
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Summary
@dungeonmap @J0KER420 nishima is offline
@J0KER420 @dungeonmap ♥
@kirifuda hey if we're mutuals you can add me on my priv @J0KER420or: fandom au, where joker is a big name fan, crow is his favorite fic author, and everything goes even worse than expected.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 28,934
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 616
- Kudos:
- 6,871
- Bookmarks:
- 1,760
- Hits:
- 117,636
Bookmarked by Theirrefutablepancake
30 Jul 2025