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  1. Tags
    Summary

    A curious lichen is brought on board the Enterprise, causing an orgy to break out on the ship. Everyone's caught up - well, almost everyone.
    Francis Crozier and James Fitzjames hunker down and wonder why they're among the few spared.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,703
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    45
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    289
  2. Tags
    Summary

    It is Sir John and Lady Jane’s ongoing trial that Francis wished to marry Miss Sophia Cracroft. Oh, but there are so many more appropriate men - even those better matched within the Discovery Service! Why, a well-placed engagement could improve mutual reputations and cause quite the ‘it’ pair within the Admiralty. Thus, upon an embarrassing and early return to England, Sophia Cracroft and James Fitzjames are strongly encouraged by the Franklins that their pairing would be fortuitous, elevate their standing, and offset some of the detrimental press caused by another failed attempt at the Passage. Hilarity ensues.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,686
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    93
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    871
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Francis Crozier wakes up in Vegas with his office nemesis napping on his chest. Bad enough, until he spots the ring on his own finger.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,152
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    33
    Kudos:
    282
    Bookmarks:
    83
    Hits:
    2,711
  4. Tags
    Summary

    It's possibly bad form to realise on the day of your best friend's wedding (the wedding at which you are best man) that you are in love with your best friend. James coping with Sophia and Francis' marriage, through the years.

    Complete, updates fortnightly.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    35,133
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    173
    Kudos:
    270
    Bookmarks:
    53
    Hits:
    4,383
  5. Tags
    Summary

    To boost morale, Sir John instructs Francis Crozier and James Fitzjames to 'Commingle'. It goes badly, and then it goes well. Oh dear.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,339
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    37
    Kudos:
    224
    Bookmarks:
    25
    Hits:
    1,991
  6. Tags
    Summary

    ‘Nothing else will do,’ he tells her later in the Franklins’ rear withdrawing-room, his hands behind his back.
    ‘Well then,’ she says, ‘this will be the great tragedy of your life, Francis.’
    Sophia shoos him away and joins her at the head of the stairs: a ship in sail in voluminous dark green bombazine, her eyes pale and glittering in the dim light.
    That afternoon, he leaves a bite high on the inside of her thigh, spiteful and luxurious. He hears a gasp, quickly stifled, and grins against her cunt.
    ‘Take your satisfactions where you may, Captain Crozier,’ she says, and grinds her cheroot out on his window-sill.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    908
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    37
    Kudos:
    47
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    268
  7. Tags
    Summary

    London, 1939. Francis Crozier is called in to investigate the death of his old commanding officer, Sir John Franklin, whose elegant Mayfair house has the woman who said no to him, and a chauffeur who's a little too eager to help. And then a shell-shocked veteran puts Francis on the track of James Fitzjames, who's got a secret or two of his own.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,317
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    63
    Kudos:
    243
    Bookmarks:
    37
    Hits:
    2,856
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Sir Francis, a poor knight, seeks the hand of Princess Sophia, who sets him an impossible task: bring her a ring forged with the breath of the fearsome firebird Erebus. Sir Francis agrees, but then he meets a tall knight who likes to tell stories about himself, and his quest takes a turn.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,378
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    45
    Kudos:
    139
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    936
  9. Tags
    Summary

    "This is Saturday night. Reid and Osmar are drinking “Sweathearts and wives;” and they wanted me to join. I said I had not the one, and did not want the other. Good night."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,500
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    111
    Kudos:
    117
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    1,272
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Francis Crozier is the Chief Whip of a beleaguered Labour Party. His best friend's abandoned him and his party leader's an idiot. And then there's the posh bastards on the other side, especially that shiny-haired eejit Fitzjames...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    64,857
    Chapters:
    15/15
    Comments:
    647
    Kudos:
    656
    Bookmarks:
    173
    Hits:
    12,821
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Francis should know better by now than to trust his own wanting.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,359
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    35
    Kudos:
    163
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    2,000
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Fitzjames has doubts about Hickey's flogging.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,229
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    150
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    1,902
  13. Tags
    Summary

    James's Christmas plans fell through, so Francis has invited him along to Christmas at the Rosses. Complete with vile Christmas jumpers. Which is all fine and well, but then there's the mistletoe...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,491
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    49
    Kudos:
    279
    Bookmarks:
    38
    Hits:
    1,871
  14. Tags
    Summary

    He could have sworn – Ned could have sworn – that a rising executive at a highly successful transport and logistics multinational would be able to afford the services of a mid-range professional to come on his face and tell him he was a disgusting maggot, and still leave some over for a steady balanced investment in a midcap mutual fund, but apparently not.

    In which Ned Little tries and fails to balance his chequebook, until he gets an assist from Thomas Jopson.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,169
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    58
    Kudos:
    242
    Bookmarks:
    31
    Hits:
    1,974
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Okay, so the leggy posh boy pulled Francis out of the river. Is he expecting Francis to be nice to him?
    A near-drowning, a meet-cute, and a choose-your-own-ending story.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,227
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    43
    Kudos:
    117
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    1,492
  16. Tags
    Summary

    James Fitzjames never expected to live long enough to need rescuing, or sprout grey hairs. But both happened, and he has to learn to live with it.

    Then a snotty young midshipman with a very familiar face appears.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,752
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    50
    Kudos:
    184
    Bookmarks:
    40
    Hits:
    2,954
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Francis has no particular need of care, no particular desire to have fingers brush his face or person as though he were something breakable and sacred, a temptation and a promise all at once.

    No particular desire.

    Which is just as well, all things considered.

    Or rather, considering one specific thing: that the man in his bed is James Fitzjames.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,345
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    56
    Kudos:
    344
    Bookmarks:
    55
    Hits:
    4,749
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Alex McDonald is on a search-and-rescue vessel away from home, saving the world. Stephen Stanley has completely normal-sized feelings about that.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,203
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    43
    Kudos:
    115
    Bookmarks:
    24
    Hits:
    734
  19. Tags
    Summary

    James Fitzjames teaches Francis Crozier to take a compliment. (It's a process.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,806
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    28
    Kudos:
    230
    Bookmarks:
    26
    Hits:
    2,789
  20. Tags
    Summary

    James Fitzjames has been living rent-free in Francis Crozier's head and Thomas Jopson, like any good mongoose, decides to take matters into his own hands. Cue James Fitzjames and Francis Crozier locked together in a dark room.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,141
    Chapters:
    2/3
    Comments:
    87
    Kudos:
    162
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    1,961

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