arizayna
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What is love?
To Sirius, love is a torn throat, a flesh wound, a blood-smear. It’s a wild, sick, deranged thing – an animal gnawing off its own limbs to escape a trap. It wants to be set free, wants to rush straight out of his body and swallow him whole, gripping him like a fever.
Love is saying I need you with glass in his mouth. It’s sobbing choose me whenever James looks at Lily. It’s begging: please. Please don’t be in love with her.
Love lights him up from the inside out. It pours forth and covers everything – an endless terror, an indelible delight.
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It’s a riveting thing, watching Sirius Black come undone in a dark room like this.
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Sirius feels oddly faint, feels like his whole body has turned into vapour and he could just be blown away into nothingness at any moment. Nothing about this has felt real, not when Remus’ head popped into his fireplace after a whole year and not now that he’s telling him that James, his James, won’t remember who he is.
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He pops the cap off a bottle of beer and takes a long swig from it. Even off the ice there’s a certain quickness about him, a certain elegance. Aleksandr wonders if Benji knows that, if he looks in the mirror and sees what other people can see in him.
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Secrecy by arizayna for Act More Like A Dog Sirius (LiaIsInLove)
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
12 Nov 2022
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He and Sirius have always shared something special, something tender and unspoken that transcends words altogether. Instead, it expresses itself as an emotion, a kind of certainty: you’re my best friend, and you always will be. It’s an understanding of loyalty, of belonging. Of bridges that remain impervious to all attempts at burning them down.
He never imagined Sirius would want to keep secrets from him. Never dreamed that he’d be stumbling upon something like this.
Recent series
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- Words:
- 4,469
- Works:
- 1
Recent bookmarks
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i want a scar that looks just like you by tinyinkstainedbird
Fandoms: Beartown - Fredrik Backman
08 Jul 2019
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Summary
Benji leaves Beartown behind, but not his broken heart or bloody knuckles.
Bookmarked by arizayna
17 Jun 2025
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And I've never loved a darker blue, than the darkness I have known in you by Artemisia_Black_95 for sofoulandfairaday
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
18 Feb 2024
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A fic exploring the love/hate relationship between Sirius Black and Bellatrix Black.
A dark fairytale.
Bookmarked by arizayna
18 Feb 2024
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In the Black by izzythehutt for iamfitzwilliamdarcy
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
03 Jul 2018
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Regulus Black survives his adventure in the cave and brings the locket to an unlikely ally: his estranged older brother. The ex-Death Eater strikes a bargain with Dumbledore, cooperation in exchange for his family’s safety. Sirius Black is faced with his toughest mission yet: managing Walburga and Orion Black—who, to his surprise and dismay, decide they rather enjoy having both of their sons back, and very quickly scheme to make this temporary family reunion permanent.
Or: the story of how one night completely changed the course of the war and Sirius's life.
[AU of the First Wizarding War in which stealing part of Voldemort's soul brings a broken, dysfunctional family together - Winner of 2018 Shrieking Shack Society Silver Marauders Medal for Best Sirius Characterization]
Series
- Part 1 of The Black Sheep Dog
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 71,304
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Collections:
- 18
- Comments:
- 437
- Kudos:
- 4,676
- Bookmarks:
- 1,226
- Hits:
- 182,983
Bookmarked by arizayna
21 Jun 2023
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A Black Mass Over Highway Ninety by greenvlvetcouch (mpr3g)
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
13 Nov 2023
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Remus loves Sirius, and Sirius loves Remus.
That’s just the way it is—call it a law of the universe or just the way the world works—but after four years away, Remus gets a call from Sirius asking him if he remembers a promise they made freshman year.
And, of course, Remus remembers. How could he not?
Something like a love story from the summer of 1978, full of Southern Cuts and Old Style, shitty motel rooms, and questionable decisions. Poor excuse for poetry and late night dancing, a trip to Vegas, and one too many honeymoon suites.
Cherry pop rocks, too-tight pants, and a road trip across the U.S.
Series
- Part 2 of HIGHWAY NINETY
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 243,539
- Chapters:
- 21/21
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 1,111
- Kudos:
- 9,659
- Bookmarks:
- 4,508
- Hits:
- 662,715
Bookmarked by arizayna
16 Jun 2023
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James knows he should be happy - or at least as happy as someone who's 19 and involved in a war can be. He has the girl of his year-long dreams, a flat with the best friend he could ever hope for, and he's fighting for what is right. Despite all that, something is missing. Unfortunately, finally figuring it out only leads to a bigger mess. Fortunately, sometimes even a mess can lead to good things in the end.
Sirius has never really set the bar at happiness per se, but he always thought that getting to leave his family behind, living with James, and watching his friends be happy would be more than enough. As it turns out, family is never as far away as one wants it to be, friendships can be fickle things, and happiness is a very subjective emotion. But if Sirius was ever good at anything, it was at fighting for what he loves.
Or - as if leaving school, figuring out their lives, and fighting in a war wasn't already enough, things really start getting complicated when both Sirius and James have some unexpected epiphanies, the Order realizes they have a traitor in their midst, and Regulus Black turns up on Sirius' and James' doorstep, soaking wet and asking for help.
Series
- Part 4 of Prongsfoot Stories
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 130,725
- Chapters:
- 24/24
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 648
- Kudos:
- 1,395
- Bookmarks:
- 461
- Hits:
- 47,416
Bookmarked by arizayna
13 Jun 2023