awkwardpanda



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Dean lasts three months.

    Dean does what Sam tells him, keeps his distance, lets Cas pass him again and again, but Dean’s never been good at being patient, because after weeks and weeks of Dean’s longing growing and growing, all it takes is for Cas to meet his eyes one time and Dean snaps.

    Cas is too slow to escape him.

    Dean pins him up against the door of his bedroom before Cas can even turn the knob.

    For a long time, Dean can’t get his tongue to work. For a long time, they sway against the door, and when Dean knows that he’ll never be able to get a word out, at least not without turning into a blubbering mess, he just closes his eyes and leans his forehead against Cas’ and Cas inhales then, sharp and surprised.

    “Dean,” Cas says, softly, gently, and Dean can feel the tears sliding down his cheeks.

    a coda to 15.18, 15.19 and 15.20 where Dean and Cas reunite and there's a very happy ending because I'm a sappy person and because happiness is what they deserve

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    1/1
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    29 Jun 2025

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “I wish I could stand,” Cas says.

    “Yeah,” Dean says.

    Cas holds up his hand, flexes it, stares and then drops it.

    “This weakness is unsettling. I can’t—I can’t even hold a pitcher of water, Dean.”

    Dean makes a small sound in his throat, a non-committal hum.

    He’s done soaping up Cas’ hair. He grabs the sponge at his side and starts to scrub at Cas’ skin, up along his arms, his neck, down his chest. When he runs it up his legs, to his thighs, Cas shudders and then there’s a hand cupping Dean’s cheek, cold and dripping water and soap, and Dean falters, looks at him for the first time.

    “Will you sleep with me?” Cas says. “Tonight?”

    Dean swallows.

    He says yes.

    After Lucifer's possession, Castiel stops talking.

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    08 Apr 2025

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    So, the first thing that happens is Castiel comes back.

    ~~~

    "Right," Dean says eventually, gruffly. He looks down at his shoes. "I'm not gonna tell you how to live your life, man. It's—you know, yours. Do your thing, love who you love, whatever. I can't really stop you from loving me, if that's what you've decided to do, but I don't—I can't—"

    "I know," Castiel murmurs, still just smiling a little, not looking heartbroken at all. "Don't worry about it, Dean, that's all I ask."

    "So we're—" Dean risks a glance up, swallowing thickly. "We're good?"

    Castiel hums. "We're good."

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    07 Apr 2025

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Cas is sick and Dean finds a journal that Cas kept about his time alone as a human.

    This fic is a retelling of first half of S9 from Cas's POV (via Cas's journal). Lots of Cas angst/loneliness and a correspondingly equal volume of Dean guilt. Sick fic, hurt/comfort, journal fic, and a Christmas fic too.

    NO SLASH but the entire thing features a strong Cas/Dean friendship.

    Destiel readers: This entire fic can be read as pre-Destiel (or not, as you prefer), and if you would like to read it that way, I also wrote an optional, explicit, Destiel epilogue chapter just for you guys. :)

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    04 Apr 2025

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Sam and Dean are working a case in Wyoming, but are distracted by news of a dangerous angel called "Castiel" who they can't remember ever having heard of before. The name seems a little bit familiar, but neither of the boys is sure why.

    Based off of mid-season 9 (before mark of Cain, before the angel army); takes place several months later, in September 2014. Case fic wrapped in a big ol' amnesia mystery. NO SLASH; the idea is that this is something they could do on the actual show, like a 3-4 episode arc with some mini cases and a cool story running through it all. GETS VERY EMOTIONAL with super strong friendship/family themes, lotsa hurt/comfort, about three metric tons of Cas angst, feels galore, plus monsters and M&M's.

    Language:
    English
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    Chapters:
    32/32
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    03 Apr 2025