bukopandanstiko
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Recent works
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half of my soul, as the poets say by bukopandanstiko
Fandoms: Real Person Fiction, Vatican (2025) RPF
18 May 2026
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Summary
Stretching out from his hand and towards the altar, he sees a glimpse of the red knot tied around the Holy Father’s finger underneath the Fisherman’s Ring he, himself slipped on.
He understands now.
Robert, despite the string that keeps pulling them closer and tying them in ways that is inevitable, has never been his.
Chito, for as long as he can remember, can always see the red string tied around the ring finger of his left hand.
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‘til the sound of my voice will haunt you by bukopandanstiko
Fandoms: Real Person Fiction, Vatican (2025) RPF
22 Apr 2026
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Summary
It isn’t easy, having your first and only heartbreak be heard in every radio, every street, every place. It isn’t easy, having the ghost of his presence follow you everywhere you go, even if you’ve spent the last twenty years trying to silence it out.
It isn’t easy, now that you’re back, and you remember that he isn’t a ghost at all, finding the familiar eyes and hearing the familiar voice on stage as you wonder: ‘Do you still remember when we were still young and I was still urging you to perform? Look at where we are now — you, loved by all; me, just a part of the crowds you sing for.’
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flowers for saints, blossoms for sinners by bukopandanstiko
Fandoms: Real Person Fiction, Vatican (2025) RPF
04 Apr 2026
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Summary
“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned,” he slowly starts in a low voice. “My last confession was last week. I—”
As if mocking him, a cough rises up his throat and makes him choke. His grip on the armrest of the wooden kneeler tightens for support until one of his hands repeatedly and forcefully hits his own chest as if it will even do anything. It still hasn’t become easier despite the mere size of it, despite the Holy Father briefly telling him a week ago that it will.
When his throat finally eases up, the flower gets stuck on his tongue, and he knows he cannot just spit it out in this confessional. So, he takes the stupid flower — surprisingly only one — from his tongue with his own hand, and a mocking scoff comes out of his mouth before he admits, “I am coughing up flowers for a man whom I am unworthy of.”
How cruel it is to have sampaguitas in your lungs that bloom for the Holy Father.
Series
- Part 2 of how petals fall (like i, for you)
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the language of flowers (and silent things) by bukopandanstiko
Fandoms: Real Person Fiction, Vatican (2025) RPF
30 Nov 2025
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Summary
An itch starts to form again in Robert’s throat as he desperately thinks, God, please, not now. But God doesn’t listen to sinners like him, so he can only continue to blame himself for how he ended up here: heaving and coughing again and again and again in utter desperation to get rid of the obstruction in his airway before he can choke on what is deemed to be something divine, but apparently only to those not like him. His ears are ringing and tears are forming in his eyes as he coughs with so much force one final time, and the taste in his mouth is bitter as he spits out a single, white flower in full bloom, covered in spit and blood.
That particular one had only been a closed bud yesterday. There hadn’t even been blood.
He looks beside him, to Chito still with a hand on his arm and the other on his back, now horrified with the truth he had just witnessed, and Robert mockingly says, “I told you. You cannot help me.”
The Holy Father is sick, but no one shall know the true reason for it.
Series
- Part 1 of how petals fall (like i, for you)
Recent series
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how petals fall (like i, for you) by bukopandanstiko
Fandom Real Person Fiction, Vatican (2025) RPF
04 Apr 2026
Summary
I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed.
— a duology of loving (despite, despite.)
- Words:
- 28,335
- Works:
- 2
Recent bookmarks
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Timebreaker by peach_monami
Fandoms: Vatican RPF, Real Person Fiction, Christian Tradition Lore & Folklore
06 Feb 2026
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Summary
Five months before he is shot at St. Peter’s Square, the newly elected Pope Leo XIV scrawls a desperate note in Chito's prayer booklet: “Would you stay with me until the very end of my papacy?”
Chito, who has lived this moment before, writes back almost angrily: “There will be no end.”
Leo dies by a gun. And Chito rips the fabric of time to save him, again and again.
(Or, the one where Chito gets stuck in a time loop trying to prevent Bob’s election — and his death.)
Bookmarked by bukopandanstiko
15 Jun 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
“to truly love another person is to accept that the work of loving them is worth the pain of losing them.” - the haunting of bly manor, episode 1
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- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 755
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 13
- Kudos:
- 45
- Bookmarks:
- 4
- Hits:
- 359
Bookmarked by bukopandanstiko
23 Oct 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
absolutely life ruining. what the hell. cried.
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Sun Bleached Flies by decollement
Fandoms: Real Person Fiction, Vatican (2025) RPF, Conclave (2025) RPF
22 Jun 2025
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Summary
The papacy is a huge burden, especially on an older man.
Or love, in different seasons, in different settings, from the Roman Curia, until to the balcony overseeing St. Peter's Square. And beyond.
Or love, when or whether they’ll be able to finally get it right.
Bookmarked by bukopandanstiko
22 Oct 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
im jumping off a CLIFF. i needed to lie down after reading this
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dedicated to the one i love by Anonymous
Fandom Conclave (2025) RPF, Real Person Fiction, Vatican RPF
02 Nov 2025
- Words:
- 15,673
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 5
Bookmarked by bukopandanstiko
22 Oct 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
love love love this series too :( theyre so domestic it HURTS
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which mannerly devotion shows in this by Anonymous
Fandoms: Vatican RPF, Conclave (2025) RPF, Real Person Fiction, Christian Tradition Lore & Folklore
03 Jul 2025
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Summary
Touch should not repulse him. Touch is the foundation of connection, and connection is his job. The liturgy calls for kisses of peace, of blessing. His own personal opinions do not matter.
Bob is dead. Leo is beloved.
(5+1 meditations on Bob, Leo, touch, and love.)